After a long time of confusion, reflection, and maybe even denial…
…you’ve finally realized and admitted that you have feelings for them.
Hell, you feel that they might like you too! Or do they actually? And do you actually?
Love and emotions can be confusing.
From my own personal experience, it’s the most complicated situation, when you haven’t admitted your feelings to a person and you’re not sure if they feel the same.
The good news is that there are actually a handful of key, tell-tale signs of true mutual attraction.
We delve into all of them below so you can be on the lookout for these signs.
Read on to determine if you’re on the same romantic page!
The 16 definitive signs you’ve got feelings for each other
1) You’re protective of each other
Caring for each other as friends is one thing. Being protective, however, is usually a sign of something more.
I remember when I had a friend who’d always text me to make sure I’m ok. Either after a night out or when I went on a solo hike. He’d just always keep an eye on me. That was one of the early signs of his attraction to me…
So, do you regularly text each other after a night out to make sure you’re ok? Do you always ensure that they’re safe when walking on the sidewalk or crossing the street? Are they always willing and ready to come to your rescue when you ask for help?
Trust me girl…
If you find yourselves actively protecting each other from things that might bother, annoy, scare, or harm the other person, then your feelings are most likely more than just a simple friendship.
Let me ask you this…
Do you know that feeling of relief and comfort when you get home after a long day of work? Do you feel that way with them? Do they feel like home?
Such a level of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability is a crucial sign of developing love.
2) You think about them a lot
Constantly dreaming about them is another big sign of deeper emotions.
There was a time in my life when I’d constantly dream about my male friend. The dreams weren’t romantic in any way but it still showed me that I was thinking about him a lot.
When you’re dreaming, do you usually relive the last time you were out with them or fantasize about things you want to do together in the future?
If you constantly think about them, then you value them in an intimate, special way.
Regularly daydreaming of being with each other reveals that you want to be together often and desire a closer relationship.
Think about it. Do they suddenly and randomly pop into your mind…
- …the moment you wake up?
- …during school or work?
- …before you sleep?
- …even when you’re with other people?
If they’re not beside you, but they’re on your mind…you just can’t get enough of them!
3) You confide in one another about everything
While many best friends will claim that they tell each other everything, it’s an even more common denominator for couples.
Think about it: do you tell each other things that you don’t share even with your other close friends? Are they the first person you think of telling whenever something significant happens?
If so, they definitely stand out—and by this, I mean that you see them as more than a friend.
If you treat them as your primary and closest confidant, then there is little doubt about what you truly feel for them.
On the other hand, if you catch them telling you their deepest secrets an desires…it may indicate they’re trusting you on a much deeper level than you thought.
4) You’re always looking at each other
Holding eye contact for too long can be awkward, even with good friends.
However, if you’re able to hold prolonged or even intense eye contact with this person, then you know your feelings for each other are on another level.
When you have romantic feelings for each other, it’s not even weird when you gaze into their eyes. It happens so naturally that you don’t realize it’s been 5 minutes since you’re staring at each other!
You’re simply drawn to how they look or get really invested in what they’re talking about at any given moment.
Think about it. Would this happen if you were mere friends?
Not only does this mean that you have emotional intimacy and are fully comfortable with each other.
It’s also a sign of physical attraction and sexual tension if you easily get lost in each other’s eyes.
5) There’s a little bit of jealousy
Some people say love is selfless, but it’s hard to deny that it’s also somewhat selfish in one way or another.
If you have feelings for someone, then you’ll kind of want them all to yourself at times. You’ll feel slightly jealous when they’re hanging out with someone else.
This jealousy can take the form of:
- Getting upset when they spend time with other people instead of you;
- Worrying that they might find their co-workers attractive;
- Fixating on their exes and a chance of them getting back together.
Don’t get us wrong—you definitely want them to be happy with other people in their life.
However, we’re all human and we all have imperfect thoughts and emotions sometimes. It’s what you do with that jealousy that matters.
If you start to feel jealous of your friend—it’s a sign that you’ve developed romantic feelings for him.
Similarly, if he suddenly wants to know where you are and what you’re doing every single moment—he might see you as more than just a friend.
6) You’re happy when they’re happy
When you’re falling for someone, their happiness often becomes a source of your own happiness.
If you’re not only invested in their happiness but also go above and beyond for it, then you definitely see each other in a special way.
Prioritizing each other’s happiness is a sign of a good, healthy relationship. After all, partners should absolutely care about each other’s joy and well-being!
Do you guys often buy each other gifts? Or take care of each other when one is sick?
A new romance is budding!
7) You’re becoming more like them
When we’re attracted to someone and spend a lot of time with them, we often tend to absorb bits of their personality into our own. You’ll find yourself sharing their opinions, interests, and tastes
This isn’t always the case, but if you find yourself interested in things that you weren’t into before, it might be an indicator that you have feelings for this guy.
Essentially, we do this because our subconscious is trying to make us more alike. In doing so, we become more appealing and more attractive to each otherl.
Keep in mind, however, that a truly healthy relationship will have both parties feeling comfortable being themselves. They don’t feel the need to show off or change themselves to the liking of the other.
8) You use pet names for each other
If you use cute pet names to call each other and are still wondering if you’re just friends—I’m honestly not sure what to tell you!
Unless you call your other friends “cutie pie”, too. And I highly doubt that.
Pet names are a sign of intense and, more importantly, specialized affection.
There’s a reason why you only use them with very special people (and 95% of the time, that’s your significant other!).
Take a look at this list. Do you ever call your friend something like:
- Cutie Pie;
- Honey Bun;
- Jelly Belly;
If you use some of them or similar names, then trust me, it’s because you like them more than other people. Much more.
Of course, some of these names are friendlier and sillier than others. However, watch out if they evolve into more flirtatious ones.
And while you might say that you use these pet names as a joke or in an ironic manner, flirting is all about plausible deniability! It’s all about poking and prodding.
Besides, jokes are always half-meant, right?
So if you’re calling him “Mr. Handsome” or greeting her with “Hey, beautiful”, then there’s probably a reason why you chose that pet name in particular!
9) You’re physically affectionate with them
If you cuddle with this “friend” of yours often, there’s really not much of a question anymore.
Physical forms of affection are considered to be the most intimate and intense way of expressing affection.
In other words, they’re almost exclusively done with people you’re in romantic relationships with.
Do you hold hands? Do you rest your heads on one another’s shoulders? Do you cuddle on the couch a lot?
Do you lock arms with them? Do you kiss them on the cheek? (I mean, if you kiss them on the lips… why are you still reading this article?)
Most people are not comfortable expressing their affection physically outside the realm of a romantic bond. Even people who claim to be touchy will not go beyond casual hugs and pats on the back.
If you’re very touchy-feely with them, then it’s a sign that you’re extremely comfortable with them. You’re also incredibly drawn to them if you feel the desire to have physical contact.
This is especially the case if it comes so naturally to the two of you that you often don’t even ask.
If physical affection is so normalized in your supposed “friendship” with this person, then there is undoubtedly emotional intimacy and sexual tension between the two of you!
10) You always aim to make each other laugh
Making someone laugh is one of the best ways to get someone to fall for you.
Joking around with your friends is one thing, but if you’re always trying to specifically make this person crack up with your jokes, then it’s likely because you want to capture their heart.
In line with this, if you’re also teasing each other constantly in an endearing yet funny way (without crossing each other’s boundaries), then you’re most probably flirting.
Take a look at your relationship with this person. Is it punctuated with the following:
- Inside jokes;
- Go-to ways that will surely make each other laugh;
- Flirtatious banter;
- Play fighting that turns into cuddling.
These are all tell-tale signs of intimacy, comfort, and familiarity—the pillars of a budding romantic bond.
11) They look at you in a special way
If someone is special to us, then we look at them in a special way. After all, we find that person incredibly attractive—both inside and outside.
So look out for “the look.”
What is it exactly? Well, there’s no clear answer. Everyone has a different way of looking at a person they like.
Here are a few common ways it can manifest
- Prolonged eye contact;
- Watching you after you look away or go awa;
- Smiling at you;
- Staring into your eyes as if they got lost in it;
- Biting or licking their lips as they look at you.
Again, it can occur in countless different ways. However, it’s simply one of those things that you’ll just know when it happens.
What’s essentially happening is that they’re either checking you out or they get lost in the moment with your presence. Both are signs of strong romantic interest!
Just make sure not to lose this precious opportunity and show him that you like him back (if you do).
12) They keep asking about your love life
If this person frequently asks about your past and current love life, then it’s likely not just out of mere curiosity.
Nine times out of ten, they have an ulterior motive. And that’s to be the next chapter in your love life!
If those jokey, casual conversations about exes gradually led to deep, late-night talks in the middle of the night, then something is definitely going on.
I remember when a male friend, who I mentioned above would casually ask me if I’m seeing someone.
Later on, he admitted that he was secretly fantasizing about being that someone for me!
Conversations about your exes reveal the things you are attracted to, as well as the relationship problems you struggled with. That’s why guys, who want to know you better in a romantic way would start these talks.
They simply want to prepare before making the move!
Meanwhile, updates about your current dating life give them a clue about how much chance they stand with you.
They want to know if you’re actively dating, letting things come to you, or are not interested in dating at all.
If you’re single and ready to mingle, then they’ll know they can shoot their shot!
13) There’s always flirting
“But we’re just joking! We’re just pretending to flirt!” you might protest.
Yes, but why did you have to joke around in that specific way? As I said, there’s always at least some truth behind jokes.
There’s always a basis for jokes—and in this case, it’s your feelings for one another. After all, flirting with any other friend that you don’t share mutual feelings with will just feel awkward!
If your banter is often flirtatious, then there’s zero doubt that you like each other. Think about it:
- Many people are scared to make the first move. By flirting, they are able to test the waters and give you hints without being overly direct;
- While some people are flirtier than others, the fact remains that you only flirt with someone you truly like;
- While people might claim that their flirting isn’t real, it most certainly is. They only say it’s not real because they are afraid of rejection.
“We’re really just friends!” you might say.
Well, yes. For now, at least.
14) Other people say you have chemistry
Look, if your peers are always telling you to get a room or just become a couple already, they aren’t just teasing you. They most likely mean it.
You simply behave differently when you’re with the ones you love. And while you may not realize it immediately, other people will definitely notice it.
We’re often incredibly biased about ourselves. However, other people have an outside perspective that is often more objective as they can see things for what they really are.
People around you will see that you’re often flirty and affectionate with one another. They will see that you already act like a couple and share a bond that goes beyond friendship.
You might be taken aback and vehemently disagree with what they say. However, the fact is that they’re saying it for a reason—and often a good one.
15) You plan for the future together
This is probably the biggest indicator of just how deep and serious your feelings for them are.
Whenever you imagine the future you’d like, are they there? When you plan the future, do you take each other into account?
If so, then this simply means that you are absolutely invaluable people to each other’s lives.
If they were only a friend, then you’d simply share your major life plans like studying, working, moving, or traveling.
However, if you ask their opinion or ask how they could be a part of it, then you definitely see them as more than friends.
Whatever it is, you will do everything you can to ensure that they are a part of your future.
16) You’re drawn to each other’s bodies
Admit it: you find each other hot. Like really, really hot.
Maybe you can’t even help but check them out regularly—and that’s not something you do to mere friends.
Try this next time: when you’re walking away from them, suddenly turn around. If you catch them still looking at you, they were probably admiring your figure.
Or if you’re sitting together, do they always look at you regardless as if there aren’t other people in the room?
Think about it. Do you notice certain body parts of theirs to be particularly sexy? Do you think or wonder about them?
- Their curves?
- The vascularity of their forearms?
- Their collarbones?
- Their hair?
- How toned or muscular they are?
- Their bust or their bum?
- Have you ever wondered what their private parts might look like?
This point is connected to several of the other points above.
It’s why you always sit or stand beside one another. It’s why you’re so touchy.
It’s because you’re both so hopelessly drawn to one another’s bodies and each other as a whole.
If you’re still hesitating, this is the sign to finally do it. Be upfront and honest, and talk about it with your friend.
Ask them if they have feelings for you or tell them that you do. If you’re on the same page, then congratulations! It’s the beginning of something wonderful.
However, if they don’t share the same feelings (or you don’t), then one can let the other down in the kindest way they can.
If that’s the case, allow yourself to grieve. At the very least, now that you know the truth, you no longer have to stress about it alone and can begin the process of moving on.
Also, know that you still have something beautiful. Friendship is still a wonderful thing in its own right and is no less valuable to your life than a romantic relationship.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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