Alexandra Plesa
Having a strong personality is undoubtedly a strength.
But, as the popular saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility.
While being confident and assertive has numerous advantages, it can rub others the wrong way.
You hear rumors about them describing you as “too much.”
You see them rolling their eyes when you speak up about an issue you believe in.
You picture them looking you up on social media and mocking you because you make no excuses for who you are.
Here are 8 signs you have an intimidating personality that some people just can’t handle.
Spoiler alert: this doesn’t mean you have to change.
1) You are unapologetically yourself
You always stay true to yourself, regardless of how others perceive or judge you.
You understand your values, have no problem expressing who you are, and don’t feel the need to mold yourself into someone else to please others.
Not only that, but societal expectations don’t mean much to you.
You would rather walk a lonely path than conform to what the world says you should be in order to fit in.
That’s great!
You probably put in a lot of work to get to this point, especially if it meant defying societal norms.
As you challenge the status quo, however, you’ll probably intimidate individuals who prefer to adhere to established conventions.
Plus, people who are unapologetically themselves tend to trigger feelings of insecurity in those who are less comfortable with their own identity.
If they feed on external validation, they’ll see your self-assurance as threatening. Or, they might become jealous and band together to tear you down.
Don’t let their limited mentality stop you from showcasing your true colors.
2) You stand by your convictions
Some people change their opinions whenever a new trend pops up.
If an artist they like loses the affection of the general public, they pretend not to like them.
If they love a movie everyone hates, they keep quiet about it.
If they believe in something that sounds controversial to their immediate circle, they don’t admit to doing so.
Not you.
You know what you believe in, and you stand by your convictions no matter what.
You adhere to your principles in the face of opposition, criticism, or pressure from the outside world.
Consistency is your middle name.
You live by the values you espouse even when no one is watching and you don’t change your personality depending on who you hang out with.
While that’s certainly admirable, it’s also intimidating.
When someone constantly tweaks who they are to avoid rejection, there’s a good chance they’ll find your honesty and nonchalance to be “too much.”
Too bad.
Integrity is never a weakness.
3) You fight for what you want
If you’re the kind of person who chases their dreams, there’s a good chance you have an intimidating personality that some people just can’t handle.
Going after what you want takes dedication and discipline. It means that you:
- Believe in your abilities
- Dare to dream big
- Welcome obstacles as opportunities for growth
- Learn from failures and move forward no matter what
- Don’t listen to your haters, who would love to see you quit
Many people become discouraged halfway there, so they give up.
They tell themselves that they’re fine as they are and don’t need to dust themselves off and try again.
When they see you persevering, the best of them find you inspiring.
The others get annoyed with your grit.
Your resilience serves as a stark reminder of their limitations and insecurities. It makes them feel inadequate by comparison.
They may even attempt to undermine your efforts and belittle your aspirations.
The joke’s on them because you won’t abandon the race.
Not when you’re making such great progress.
4) You are competitive
When someone is competitive, they strive to excel in whatever they’re pursuing.
You likely exhibit intense focus, which can be intimidating to those who are less driven or passionate about landing on top.
Moreover, the sheer presence of a competitive person can create pressure for others to perform at their best.
This can be too much for some people to handle, especially if they feel like they are judged on their performance.
While there’s nothing wrong with being competitive and wanting to win, it’s crucial to remember not everyone is in the same boat.
Some people find more fulfillment in the process than in reaching the finish line first.
Their aspirations may be smaller or they prioritize different values, like living a quiet, stress-free life.
As long as you don’t look down on them for their choices, you have nothing to feel sorry about.
5) You know how to command a room
Everyone notices when you enter a room.
Your demeanor or charisma instantly captivates the audience.
You can influence and inspire others with just a few words.
Good for you! Maintaining such a level of confidence is not easy.
Others, though, might feel overshadowed by your presence.
They’ll be intimidated by your larger-than-life persona and retreat to their shell.
If you want to use your powers for good, take advantage of your magnetism to inspire them.
See someone who looks shy at a party? Encourage them to join the group.
Have a coworker who is afraid to speak up during meetings? Give them advice on how to present themselves best.
People will find you less intimidating if you’re willing to share the spotlight from time to time.
6) You are independent
Being described as “independent” is another sign you have an intimidating personality that some people just can’t handle.
I like being on my own. I’ve learned to rely on myself from early on, and I enjoy my own company.
I get lonely sometimes, sure, but I can’t say that I desperately long to have someone to share my life with. I’ll be fine if it never happens.
My ex kept asking me why I hadn’t dated more. I didn’t have a good answer for him at the time.
After we broke up, I sat down and thought about it. And I realized that I haven’t really prioritized romance in the last decade or so.
I hadn’t been proactive about finding that elusive soulmate who would complete me.
I’ve been in love and I’ve dated people. I hope to do so from now too, as long as I meet men who I find exciting or interesting.
But I’ve never seen marriage or being with someone as the ultimate goal.
My biggest objective has always been to live a fulfilling, creative life, whether or not that involves a partner.
This freaks some people out.
While I would never consider myself intimidating, I can see how my independence could be intimidating to someone whose biggest fear is to end up alone.
The structure of society is still built around the concept of couples, and it often makes single people feel excluded or marginalized.
For now, it’s just me against the world.
7) You know what you bring to the table
People who others find intimidating usually know what they bring to the table.
They play to their strengths and celebrate their skills.
They understand how much value they offer an employer, friend group, or relationship.
They’re confident in their abilities and recognize their worth.
As a result, their expectations are high, and they rarely settle for less than they deserve.
This attitude can be baffling to someone selling themselves short.
When you aren’t afraid to ask for more than you’re given, you instantly stand out from the crowd.
Hopefully, the people you intimidate will get over it and, instead, become inspired to do the same.
8) You have strong boundaries
Having strong boundaries means understanding of your needs and effectively communicating them to everyone else.
Not only do you advocate for yourself, but you know your limits and don’t allow others to cross them.
In other words, you:
- Ask for what you need, regardless of context
- Enforce your boundaries without feeling guilty or apologizing
- Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental health
- Say “no” to demands or requests that violate your boundaries
- Are less susceptible to manipulation or coercion from others
This enables you to build healthy, balanced relationships based on mutual respect.
It also means that your personality may be intimidating to meeker individuals who feel the need to always please others.
Who struggle with self-esteem or don’t value themselves enough to be assertive.
Even if that happens, continue to do you.
Pleasing others is severely overrated.
Final thoughts
Having an intimidating personality is nothing to be ashamed of.
You shouldn’t have to make yourself smaller for others to be comfortable when you’re around.
However, keep in mind that there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, driven and dismissive.
As long as you don’t cross it, there’s no need to retreat into the shadows.
Not everyone will like you.
That’s their problem, not yours.
