9 signs you have an above average level of empathy, according to psychology

As human beings, we thrive on connections, understanding, and mutual respect. The ability to empathize – to understand and share the feelings of another – is a vital human trait.

Empathy is not just about feeling sorry for someone else; it’s about stepping into their shoes and understanding their perspective. It’s an essential ingredient in meaningful relationships and a healthy society.

Yet psychology tells us that empathy isn’t equally distributed among all people.

Some folks are innately more empathetic than others. They have a heightened capacity to perceive what others are thinking or feeling, and they respond more effectively to the needs of those around them.

Are you one of those people? Could you be someone with an above average level of empathy?

In this article, I’ll help you identify key traits that point towards a heightened capacity for empathy. 

1) You’re an excellent listener

Listening may seem like a passive activity, but actually, it’s one of the most active things you can do. And if you’re someone who really listens when others talk, you might be more empathetic than the average person.

Empathetic individuals tend to be great listeners.

They don’t just hear the words; they tune in to the emotions behind them. They can pick up on subtle cues — a change in tone, a hesitation, or a certain look — that others might overlook.

You might find yourself fully engaged when someone shares their fears or dreams with you. You don’t interrupt, you don’t judge; instead, you offer your undivided attention and strive to understand their feelings and perspectives.

In a world where everyone is in a rush to speak their minds, if you’re someone who prioritizes listening and understanding others, this could be a sign of your above-average empathy.

2) You’re sensitive to others’ emotions

If you often find yourself picking up on other people’s moods without them saying a word, you might have an above average level of empathy.

This ability to read and respond to others’ emotional states is sometimes referred to as emotional contagion.

For example, if a friend walks into a room feeling down, you can sense their sadness even if they try to hide it.

Similarly, when someone around you is excited or happy, their joy rubs off on you.

You might also feel an urge to help when you sense that someone is upset or struggling. This isn’t just about recognising their emotions; it’s also about wanting to alleviate their pain and share in their joy.

This sensitivity isn’t always easy. It can mean that you’re more likely to feel overwhelmed in high-stress situations or struggle when those around you are negative or upset. But it’s also a powerful sign of your empathetic nature.

3) You enjoy your alone time

While it might seem like a paradox, those with above average empathy often need time alone to recharge. This is because being highly attuned to the emotions of others can be mentally and emotionally taxing.

If you find solace in solitude, it doesn’t mean you’re antisocial or indifferent. On the contrary, it could be that you are processing the emotional data you’ve collected from your interactions with others.

You might use this alone time to reflect on your conversations and experiences, or to decompress and regain emotional equilibrium.

This is all part of being an empathetic person – you feel deeply, and sometimes you need space to manage those deep feelings.

Don’t mistake this for being introverted or shy. It’s about understanding your own needs and ensuring you’re in the best state to continue empathizing with others.

4) You sometimes feel overwhelmed

Let’s get real: having a high level of empathy isn’t always a walk in the park. In fact, it can be downright overwhelming at times.

If you’re someone who tends to absorb the emotions of others, you might find yourself carrying around feelings that aren’t even yours.

Imagine feeling the sadness of a friend going through a break-up, the stress of a coworker dealing with a challenging project, and the joy of your sibling getting a promotion — all in one day.

You might also find it hard to watch the news or read about painful events because you feel the suffering so acutely.

This emotional intensity, known as empathy fatigue, can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and even physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches.

It’s important to remember that while this can be challenging, it’s also a testament to your tremendous capacity for compassion and understanding. It’s okay to set boundaries and take care of yourself – after all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

5) You forgive easily

We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. If you find yourself able to forgive others easily, it might be because you’re able to empathize with their situation and understand the reasons behind their actions.

This doesn’t mean you let people walk all over you or that you ignore harmful behavior. Rather, it means you can see beyond the mistake itself and understand the person who made it.

Maybe your friend forgot your birthday because they’re dealing with a lot of stress at work. Perhaps your partner snapped at you because they were feeling overwhelmed.

You’re able to put yourself in their shoes and understand that their actions aren’t a reflection of their feelings towards you.

Remember, forgiveness is more for the forgiver than the forgiven. It allows you to let go of resentment and make room for understanding and compassion, which are the very essence of empathy.

6) You often put others before yourself

Have you ever found yourself offering the last piece of cake to someone else, even though you really wanted it?

Or maybe you’ve spent your day off helping a friend move instead of catching up on your favorite series.

If these scenarios sound familiar, it might be a sign of your empathetic nature.

People with above-average empathy often put others’ needs and feelings before their own.

You might go out of your way to make someone else feel comfortable, or to ensure they’re having a good time, even if it means sacrificing your own comfort or enjoyment.

While this is a beautiful trait, it’s also important to remember that your feelings and needs are just as important. Empathy also involves being kind to yourself, and sometimes that means putting yourself first.

7) You struggle with saying ‘no’

If you find it difficult to turn down requests or assert your own needs, it’s time for some tough love. This is a common trait among highly empathetic people, but it’s also one that can lead to resentment and burnout.

You might find yourself overcommitted and underappreciated, agreeing to things you don’t have the time or energy for because you don’t want to let others down.

But here’s the kicker: constantly saying ‘yes’ to others often means saying ‘no’ to yourself.

Remember, empathy doesn’t mean self-sacrifice. It’s vital to set boundaries and protect your own wellbeing.

Saying ‘no’ can be hard, but it is necessary, and it does not make you any less compassionate or understanding.

It’s okay to prioritize your needs. In fact, doing so allows you to show up as the best version of yourself for those around you.

8) You’re the go-to person for advice

If your friends and family often come to you when they’re in need of advice, it could be a fun sign that you’re more empathetic than most. After all, who better to help navigate life’s ups and downs than someone who truly understands how they’re feeling?

Maybe you’re the one your brother calls when he’s having relationship trouble, or the one your best friend texts when they’re feeling low.

You have a knack for understanding people’s problems and offering comfort, guidance, and sometimes, a much-needed reality check.

Remember, being the “advice guru” in your circle is not just about providing solutions. It’s about lending an ear, offering a shoulder to lean on, and providing reassurance that whatever they’re going through, they don’t have to face it alone.

9) You are a catalyst for positive change

Perhaps the most important sign of having above-average empathy is that you have the potential to be a catalyst for positive change. Your empathy can help bridge gaps, facilitate understanding, and foster connections.

With your ability to understand and share the feelings of others, you can:

  • Create safe spaces for authentic conversations
  • Spread kindness
  • Encourage compassion

You have the power to touch lives in profound ways.

Remember, in a world that can often feel divided and disconnected, your ability to empathise is not just a personal trait – it’s a gift to those around you. Cherish it, nurture it, use it wisely, and watch as it transforms your world and the world of those around you.

Wrapping up

If you’ve been nodding along to these points, chances are you have an above-average level of empathy.

Having an above-average level of empathy can be a beautiful but challenging journey. It means you experience the world in a deeply emotional way and that you have an extraordinary capacity for understanding and connecting with others.

That’s an incredible gift, but it’s also one that requires careful management.

Remember, your empathy is not a well that never runs dry. It needs to be replenished and cared for, just like any other aspect of your wellbeing.

So use your gift wisely, nurture it carefully, and remember that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. You deserve the same kindness and understanding that you so freely give to others.

Ava Sinclair

Ava Sinclair is a former competitive athlete who transitioned into the world of wellness and mindfulness. Her journey through the highs and lows of competitive sports has given her a unique perspective on resilience and mental toughness. Ava’s writing reflects her belief in the power of small, daily habits to create lasting change.

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