7 signs you have a truly good woman by your side, according to psychology

You know how the story goes.

First, you fall in love. Feel-good hormones flood your body, your attachment grows, and bam! You’ve entered a long-term relationship.

Over time, issues bubble up, not because there is something wrong with either of you but because issues are an integral part of every relationship.

But sometimes, those issues give way to gaps, and as much as you try to bridge those gaps, your significant other is too far on the other side.

And then it dawns on you. This isn’t your person. This isn’t the relationship you’re meant to have.

But by then, things have become too familiar. You have already spent so long building those bridges, after all – surely, you can’t give up now?

And so you settle for someone who isn’t the right fit, not because you can’t imagine yourself with anyone else but because you’re too scared of that in-between single stage.

Well, there will be no more of that. It’s time to open your eyes and figure out once and for all if you have a truly good woman by your side.

Here are the 7 signs.

1) She takes the time to get to know you

Sexual satisfaction tends to decline in long-term relationships.

I’m sorry, it’s just a fact.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t have an incredible sex life twenty years from now on. But the general rule of thumb is that couples who have been together for fifty years have less sex than those who have dated for eight months.

This probably isn’t that surprising.

However, this small fact points to a larger issue – sexual chemistry is not strong enough to hold a couple together.

What you truly need is genuine friendship. A sense of understanding. A feeling of safety and familiarity that goes beyond sexual intimacy.

A truly good woman takes the time to not only be your lover but to be your friend. She inquires about your hobbies and your work, she wants to meet your friends, and she asks you questions about your past in order to get to know you better.

In other words, a truly good woman cares about you on a deep level. She wants to know you for who you really are.

2) She creates a safe space where you can both open up

Have you ever been in a situation where a woman belittled you or mocked you?

It’s a terrible feeling, isn’t it?

Moreover, it forces you to completely pull your guard up, afraid to show any sign of vulnerability. A woman who hits you where it hurts the most makes you feel unsafe, which could lead you to distance yourself from the relationship.

A truly good woman, though… she’s the complete opposite.

When you’re around her, you know deep down that she would never use your weaknesses against you because there is an inherent sense of respect and kindness between the two of you.

A woman like that allows you to relax, give yourself over to her, and open up.

Vulnerability is terrifying, but when you’re with the right person, you feel safe to share the deepest parts of yourself. According to the couples counselor Kari Rusnak, MA, LPC, CMHC, this manifests in actions such as:

  • Talking about past experiences (even the negative ones)
  • Expressing your needs
  • Sharing how you feel
  • Talking about sexual desires
  • Physical affection

3) She puts in consistent effort

Social psychologist Theresa E. DiDonato, PhD, says:

“It turns out that love tends to follow from steadiness, not uncertainty; from consistency, not unpredictability. Stability happens when people behave in ways that are a) unconditional, emphasizing acceptance, and b) dependable, which underscores the importance of reliability and trustworthiness.”

This is incredibly important. A mysterious woman whose behavior invites you to constantly chase her is thrilling, but even the most determined of hunters get bored after some time.

The key to a happy long-term relationship isn’t mystery or uncertainty. It’s consistency and stability.

I know, I know. Yawn. Boring. 

It’s true, though.

A truly good woman won’t send you mixed signals, act passive-aggressive when she’s upset, or communicate in confusing hints. She won’t shower you with affection one moment and withdraw the next.

Instead, she will make sure you feel loved and cared for, be it by complimenting you, cuddling you, or making you a cup of tea. 

Whatever your love language is, she will learn it and speak it on a consistent basis.

4) Her principles are grounded in honesty and authenticity

It goes without saying that a woman who is genuinely good and who truly loves you will not lie to you or cheat on you.

In fact, she is all about honesty.

Her honesty isn’t brutal, mind you – brutal honesty is often just a different label for cruelty – but she does share her true opinions with you no matter if they differ from yours or not.

If you need genuine advice, she will give it. If you ask her what she thinks, she won’t hold back.

This means you can have honest, challenging, and intellectually stimulating discussions because she won’t just nod along and agree with everything you say.

She shows up as her full authentic self. Take it or leave it.

5) She stands by your side through thick and thin

Alright, let’s talk about loyalty.

A truly good woman is loyal to you. Full stop. She has chosen to date you for a reason, after all, and she is determined to stick by you through thick and thin.

When things are going great, she’s there to root for you and share your happiness.

When things are falling apart, she’s there to offer emotional support and reassurance.

A woman like that doesn’t just love you when you’re at your best. She loves you through all life’s changes and obstacles, and she is excited to love all the versions of you that are to come over the years.

If you feel the same, it means your relationship has a very stable basis from which you can both flourish. 

As Psychology Today says, “The security loyalty begets that makes people feel absolutely safe and accepted in a relationship encourages them to blossom.”

Thanks to the stable base you have built with each other, you feel free to evolve in other areas of life and share that success with each other.

And that brings us to the next point!

6) She supports your goals and dreams

You and I both know that a romantic relationship should be on your top list of priorities. Our partners have a monumental impact on our physical and mental well-being, so ensuring that your relationship thrives is absolutely vital.

However, not always you prioritize your relationship. And not always should you.

If you’re dating a truly good woman, she understands that your career goals and dreams are important to you and she gives you the space to pursue them so that you can flourish both professionally and personally.

This comes with a caveat, though. 

If your career completely takes over your whole life and makes it so that you don’t nurture your relationship and take your partner for granted, even the most loyal of women will eventually grow tired of it.

Ideally, you should both make time for each other on a regular basis while also allowing one another the space to thrive in other contexts.

Balance is everything.

As for the type of support you can give each other, psychologist Arash Emamzadeh says there are two kinds:

  • Emotional support (encouragement, understanding, reassurance)
  • Practical support (advice, information, assistance with practical tasks)

7) Her presence in your life makes everything better

There will be fights and disagreements. There will be nights when you can’t fall asleep because you’re both too upset. There will be stress and frustration.

But overall, a truly good woman makes your life better, not worse. Your relationship is a positive force that motivates you, inspires you, and makes you feel cared for.

When she walks into the room, you feel at home. When she looks you in the eyes, you know you’re safe. When you disagree on something, you can work it out.

Moreover, love and affection flow freely between the two of you – there is no holding back, no tuning down, no filtering.

In other words, a truly good woman is your safe space.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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