There are times when you can’t help but wonder if you’re being a doormat, and times when you feel like you might be a bit too overbearing.
So, which is it really?
To help you figure it out, in this article I will give you 10 signs that you have a strong personality that commands respect.
1) People have called you “bossy”
This is a major indicator that you have a strong and assertive personality.
But I hope you don’t get immediately offended by this. It simply means that people were intimidated by your strength and assertiveness.
And while it’s possible to be too assertive, you aren’t necessarily so just because some people think you are.
See, people easily get intimidated by people who are stronger, more assertive, and confident than they’re comfortable with. This goes double if they’re insecure, and double again if you’re a woman.
So long as you’re not putting other people down and you’re democratic, you’re good. Don’t change your strong personality just to make others feel comfortable.
2) People listen when you speak
You don’t have people trying to interrupt you or pretending they didn’t hear you, and you don’t have issues getting talked over in calls.
Sure, it’s probably because you have a booming voice or because you use gestures when you’re talking. But it’s definitely more than that!
When you do speak, you’re not afraid to express your opinions and you know how to use your words. You might have even been told that you’re articulate, or that you always sound like you know what you’re talking about.
It’s also probably the reason why you’re confident—because you know what your saying is something worthwhile.
3) You’re always prepared
Planning is in your blood. You’re the kind of person who sets goals and makes sure that you achieve them.
And what sets you apart from other people who meticulously plan their lives is that you’re not afraid to get other people involved.
You know that no matter how meticulous you are, you can’t possibly think of everything by yourself so you have no issues asking other people for their perspectives.
Some people might think that doing this makes you “weak” and “incapable”, but on the contrary, it makes you a strong person—it means you aren’t blinded by pride.
4) You always find solutions
Even the most meticulous planning can still fail, and sometimes problems will just fall on your lap out of nowhere.
But that’s no problem for you because you always find solutions to every problem. And you’re not shaken. For you, every failure is an opportunity for you to learn and make things better.
You’re willing to learn from the problems you face instead of just keeping a stiff upper lip and pretending that you never made a mistake in the first place.
This is part of why you are open to sharing your plans and letting others point out any flaws you might have made.
5) You’ve had a few enemies
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” said Winston Churchill.
Don’t take this to mean that you should go and pick fights with people just because.
Having a strong personality means that you’re bound to rub some people the wrong way.
A few—mostly those who are especially insecure—might even go off the deep end and treat you like you’re their mortal enemy just because of it, and miss your point entirely.
Don’t feel awful. As long as you have good intentions, as long as you’re respectful, as long as you bring no harm…you’re a good person! Many people just automatically judge people with strong personalities. The problem is not with you.
6) You’re a person with integrity
If you catch someone stealing, lying, or being unethical, you won’t hesitate to call them out. You’re even perfectly willing to file a report if they don’t stop.
Even if they’re someone you respect or idolize—like your own mother or best friend—you’ll call them out nonetheless if they are doing something that you know could harm or offend someone.
Rather than let them keep doing wrong things or make excuses for them, you’ll ask them to stop and do better instead.
Because of this, sketchy people are scared to be around you and they even label you “Mr/ Ms. Righteous” to shame you. But really, you’d rather be hated by them as long as you do what’s right.
7) You’re not intimidated by anyone
People think you’re “strong” when really, you just see everyone as equals. And therefore, you’re not intimidated or scared of them.
You don’t kiss the ground the people “above” you walk on. In fact, you don’t really care so much if people are “above” you or “beneath” you. It’s something that really doesn’t cross your mind when interacting with people.
If you find yourself in the same room as Bill Gates or Oprah, sure you’d get starstruck, but you don’t get painfully shy around them because to you, at the core, they’re just like you and me, after all.
And when you’re with your boss, you’re not scared to speak up even if others think that doing so would cause “trouble.”
You respect everyone equally—and that means you don’t put anyone on a pedestal and neither do you look down on others. This isn’t something many people do and that’s why they consider you as someone with a strong personality.
8) You’re not scared of criticism
Whether it’s a dish you whipped up overnight or a painting that took you months to finish, you’re not afraid to show off your work.
You know that there will be people who will offer their criticisms, and sometimes they can be unreasonably harsh…but those criticisms don’t faze you.
You don’t weigh your value as a person based on what people have to say about your work, and you’re well aware that you’re not perfect. And because of that, you can detach yourself from your work no matter how important it is to you.
When you see legitimate criticism, you can work past any offense you might feel and use it to make your work better. And when you see tearing you down just ‘cause, you can ignore them without worry.
9) You have good leadership skills
Being a strong and assertive person also means you’ll most likely be a good leader.
You can make people listen to you, you get things done, and because you’re willing to listen to feedback and find solutions, your instructions will actually be quite solid.
In fact, the times when people might have called you “bossy” are when you took charge and your aptitude to leading people took charge.
Chances are that you don’t even think of yourself as a particularly good leader—you just do your thing and get confused when you get compliments like “you’re a good leader.”
As far as you’re concerned, you’re simply doing what you need to do. And it’s exactly that which makes you a good leader.
10) You’re not scared of being alone
People like to equate strength with aggression, but that’s not it. You’re strong because you’re not afraid to be by yourself. You’re not desperate for others’ validation or companionship.
You’re unapologetically you, and while you certainly keep the comfort of other people in mind—you’re not a boor—you will not do things any differently than you want to just to please others.
You don’t try to pretend to be someone else just to make your colleagues like you, and you aren’t afraid of telling off your date if they’re being rude to someone even if it means that they’ll cut contact with you.
The thing is that you’re perfectly content living on your own, and any other people in your life are simply a bonus, not a need.
A lot of people misunderstand and mischaracterize strong people.
Some think that being strong means acting tough and always presenting a strong facade, while others think being strong means being an asshole.
The truth is that strong people are simply those who know what they want, what they stand for, and assert themselves without letting their egos blow up and get to their head.
It’s not easy to be strong, and it’s very easy to be misunderstood. But then again that’s why strong people are strong—were they not, they’d have long crumpled.
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