14 signs you have a strong personality that is hard for others to handle

How intense are you?

On a scale of coffee blends, I would say I’m “extra strong.”

Maybe you’re a mellow dark roast with fruity undertones or a medium roast with a light citrus aftertaste. 

But if you’re more on the intense and highly-caffeinated side, it’s worth being aware that this can be intimidating to some people. 

Here’s how to be aware of whether you’re coming on a bit too strong for some folks.

1) You rarely say sorry

There’s a time and a place for saying sorry, but as a very intense person you’re not one of those who makes a habit of it. 

You say sorry if you’ve done something particularly wrong and you want to make up for it, but in general you are the kind of person who avoids going out of your way to be apologetic and overly compliant.

This can put some people off because they feel like people should be more polite and more aware of how their actions affect others.

2) You talk quite intensely

Another aspect to consider is the way that you talk. Your tone of voice as well as your vocabulary and speed of talking affect people quite strongly. 

If you talk quite rapidly or at a high volume or if you exert your voice in a confident way, this can be a bit intimidating to some folks. 

Many people who may be more shy or reserved can find it overwhelming to be around someone who projects their voice and speaks in a very confident and forthright manner.

3) You have a strong and unique identity 

The next thing to consider is your identity itself. 

If you are quite an intense person then you have a firm grip on who you are and what you stand for. 

There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, it is actually a very strong suit. 

However if you have a very defined personality that may clash with others, this can come across as intimidating or off-putting to certain individuals.

4) You don’t bother with small talk 

Small talk isn’t for everyone. 

In fact I know plenty of people who are not a big fan of it. However in business and in your personal life there may be times when small talk is a way to warm up to someone. It can also be a way to pass the time while waiting for an appointment or other event to begin. 

However if you are the kind of person who doesn’t even bother with small talk this can put some people off. 

They feel you are being rude and they may feel that you are lacking the social lubricant to add grace and ease to social situations.

5) You insist when you know you’re right 

When you’re right you’re right. 

However some people are more gracious about this than others. 

If you are the kind of person who simply can’t stomach being too modest when you know you are right and will not back down on it, this can put some people off. 

In my opinion it is actually better to insist when you are right especially if it relates to something matter of fact or something that will affect the safety of others. 

However it is worth being advised that this can put some people off. 

6) You’re fearless in facing the unknown 

How do you react when you are around something you don’t know about? 

Many people hold back or hesitate in making a decision, however you are the type of person who goes straight for the drug dealer. 

You do not hesitate in pursuing your dreams and in taking risks that you had decided are worth the kids.

7) You don’t like being around complainers 

We all complain at times, however you’re not the type to get too busy talking about what’s wrong. 

When you are around people who are whining a lot or complaining, you are prone to being quite short-tempered with them. 

This can be seen as rude by some individuals particularly those who may be going through a problem and feeling the need to vent somewhat. 

However your response to them and not being overly receptive can strike them the wrong way and lead to them feeling intimidated.

8) You demand a lot of people 

If you are like me then you demand a lot of other people. You also demand a lot of yourself.

This is just your way of going through the world and you don’t mean anything negative by it. 

But it can come across as a lot to handle, especially in the workplace or in situations where others want a “go along to get along.” 

9) You don’t hide romantic interest 

Another aspect of a very direct person such as yourself is in the area of romance:

You don’t hide it when you’re interested in someone and you tend to be quite direct. 

This can cause some individuals to feel a bit overwhelmed or flustered, especially if they’re accustomed to a more indirect approach or roundabout manner of courting. 

That’s just not you. But if you’re in a culture or situation where discretion is the norm, your direct approach and open manner of showing romantic interest can be hard for some to handle. 

10) You play for keeps in love

When it comes to relationships, you’re not the type to play around. 

You’d rather be all in or not at all. It’s just how you roll. 

And in a society where some folks swipe while they’re out on a date and commitment is the c-word that dare not be uttered, your approach can intimidate some people. 

Even if you don’t mean to be intimidating in any way, your intensity around commitment can make some hesitate to take a chance on dating you in case it leads to high expectations

11) You’re intensely ambitious 

When it comes to career and your life goals, you put the pedal on the metal. 

You’re extremely ambitious and have big dreams about what’s down the road. 

While this can create a definite aura of charisma and confidence around you, it can also intimidate some people who don’t have the same level of drive. They look at you and see someone who’s extremely dedicated to their goals, and they feel that they pale in comparison. They have goals too, but they’re vaguely thought out and not as intense. 

They wonder where your ambition comes from and may be both intimidated and slightly jealous of it. 

12) You don’t suffer fools

Those who are incompetent or drag others down are people you don’t have a lot of patience for. 

Whereas others may choose the non-confrontational and non-judgmental approach, you tend to get right in the face of fools, bullies and boors. 

You don’t have time for them and you won’t let them infringe on your personal space or bring down your work environment. 

This can be very much appreciated by those around you, especially those who may be more hesitant in standing up to bullies. 

However it can also intimidate people who feel you are being too confrontational in your approach to frustrating people. They wish you could handle things in a more oblique manner, but the idea just isn’t really your style.

13) You have strong beliefs

Having strong core values and knowing what you believe is certainly a positive thing, or at least it can be. 

However if you have strong beliefs to the extent that you openly overrule individuals with different beliefs, it can lead to them feeling like they have not been seen or heard. 

Even if you do not intend to come across this way it is worth noting that for some individuals they can feel that your beliefs may not take into account the nuances or aspects of what they are trying to get across.

14) You’re clear on your politics

Many people I know do not have firmly defined political views. 

However even if you are apolitical you are very forthright about that. 

You do not waiver and flip-flop on what you believe politically and this can be quite intimidating and overwhelming to some people, particularly those who may not share your political views or who may find them overly ideological or overly judgmental.

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