Adrian Volenik
Having a strong personality has many benefits. You’re more determined and resilient, exude more confidence, and are often a leader material.
However, some people with strong personalities don’t reach their full potential simply because they think about things and actions more than they should.
If you think you belong in this group, here are the signs to help you determine that for sure.
1) You’re highly opinionated (but often find yourself dissecting your own thoughts)
You’re known for your strong convictions and aren’t shy about sharing your thoughts. Does that sound like you?
However, although you have strong opinions, you sometimes wonder if you base your opinions on facts or if you were influenced in other ways.
That’s why you often find yourself researching to validate your views. Sometimes, long into the night.
For example, you’re passionate about being vegetarian due to ethical concerns.
However, from time to time, you pause and wonder if you’ve thoroughly researched the nutritional aspects and ethical implications.
For example, vegetarians still use dairy products that also inflict pain on animals.
I didn’t pluck this example out of thin air. It’s something I battled with for years, but have decided to stick with being vegetarian because being vegan was simply too hard for me.
2) You’re confident in your abilities (but self-doubt creeps in unexpectedly)
People admire your self-assuredness, and you tackle tasks and challenges head-on. Yet, your introspective nature occasionally results in self-doubt.
You ponder if your achievements resulted from your true capabilities or merely luck.
For example, you’re a successful writer with years under your belt and thousands of articles published.
However, there are times when you doubt your artistic vision and fear your creativity might run dry. Or, even worse, that AI will take your job and leave you homeless.
Yup, those are the things keeping me up at night, even though writing isn’t my only source of income, and I’m confident in my skill set.
3) You speak your mind openly (but replay conversations in your head afterward)
Let me ask you something. Are your honesty and openness in communication valued by those around you?
People with strong personalities are mostly either loved or hated.
If you have a strong personality but overthink things, you can’t help but replay past conversations in your mind, analyzing your words and actions.
You question if you could have expressed yourself more effectively or if your words had unintended consequences.
You’re like George Costanza trying to think of a comeback long after the moment has passed.
And what about this next sign?
4) You make decisions decisively (yet second-guess them later)
I already mentioned that strong personality types are often natural-born leaders, managers, CEOs, generals, etc.
They have the ability to make decisions quickly, and that’s a valuable trait. Still, they often revisit these decisions, exploring what-ifs and contemplating if there was a better choice.
For example, you decide to switch careers and accept a new job offer without hesitation.
However, as your notice period goes by, you start questioning if it was the right move, wondering if you should have stayed in your previous job.
Overthinkers deal with this constantly.
But if you also deal with the following, it could sometimes hold you back.
5) You’re a natural leader (but stress about how others perceive your leadership)
Your natural leadership qualities make you a go-to person in group settings. Still, you often self-assess by asking for feedback and evaluating if your leadership style could be improved to achieve better results.
For example, you volunteer to lead a community organization, mobilize volunteers, and implement initiatives.
Despite your successes, you’re anxious about whether the volunteers feel your leadership is too demanding or if they might prefer a different leader.
Unfortunately, most leaders don’t think twice about their leadership style. And that’s what separates the cream from the crop.
Yes, you can be heavy-handed at times, but still improve your leadership skills by not surrounding yourself with yesmen.
Again, that’s not something most leaders do.
Okay, let’s see some other signs now.
6) You’re determined and persistent (but worry about the outcomes)
What I admire about people with strong personalities is their determination and persistence.
Their unwavering determination pushes them to set ambitious goals and pursue them relentlessly.
But I now know that for some of them, their overthinking results in moments of anxiety as they consider all the obstacles and potential setbacks that could arise along the way.
Should you look at your projects and even life from different perspectives and think about ways things could go wrong? Definitely!
But you should only look at the things you can control and affect and not worry excessively about the ones you can’t.
There’s one aspect I haven’t touched on yet: relationships.
7) You’re assertive in relationships (but often think about your actions later)
People with strong personalities are typically assertive in relationships. They know what they want and ensure others respect their needs and boundaries.
However, if you’re also an overthinker, you reflect on your behavior after interactions, pondering if there were better ways to communicate or if your assertiveness was misinterpreted.
In my book, you should always consider how your words or actions affect others. Especially if your tongue is faster than your mind.
Too many times, this has gotten me into trouble I had to crawl myself out of.
8) You’re organized and detail-oriented (but overthink minor decisions)
Many strong personality types are highly organized and detail-oriented. But the overthinkers among them often deal with something only a few think of.
For example, you flawlessly organize a family gathering, coordinating every aspect from invitations to catering.
Yet, you find yourself stressing over the arrangement of the dining table, concerned it might not be perfect.
Or you painstakingly plan a work project, creating a detailed timeline and task list. However, when it comes to choosing the color for the project presentation slides, you spend hours debating various shades and their potential impact.
The life of an overthinker isn’t easy, is it?
9) You’re proactive in pursuing opportunities (but you fret about missed chances)
Being proactive is one of the best personality traits you can have. When you’re a go-getter, you create opportunities for yourself. You don’t wait for them to fall into your lap, which might not even happen.
With your proactive approach to finding opportunities, you advance in your professional and personal life.
Nevertheless, you’re no stranger to self-questioning, wondering if there are hidden gems you haven’t uncovered or if your choices and your path in life have been truly superior.
Even I often catch myself thinking how my life would have been different if I, for example, chose a different college degree, moved out of the country much sooner, etc.
10) You handle criticism well (but analyze it extensively in private)
Many people can’t handle criticism well. They straight up get defensive and see negative feedback as a personal attack.
But when you handle criticism with grace, you can use it as a tool for self-improvement. Yet, behind closed doors, the overthinker in you makes you analyze critiques extensively.
To the point you kind of let them get to you. They make a dent in your otherwise strong personality.
It’s one of the things you have to work on.
Final thoughts
Having a strong personality makes it easier to go through life. You make good decisions with less effort and even command respect.
However, overthinking can make people with even the strongest personalities think twice about their decisions.
That’s why you, above all else, need to learn how to stop doing it.
