Paul Brian
There’s nothing wrong with having a strong and direct personality.
It means you have a fire burning inside that could change the world.
But on the more day-to-day level it can also scare people away and intimidate them.
Here are the top signs that your straightforward personality is driving some people away.
1) You cut right to the chase
The first of the signs you have a straightforward personality that might intimidate some people is that you cut right to the chase.
Whether it’s business, romance or any other area of your life, you don’t like to beat around the bush.
You’re not necessarily rude, you’re just direct.
For example, say you’ve been on two dates with a nice girl who you found pleasant and likable but you don’t feel any particular connection and don’t see much potential between the two of you.
When asked if you want to meet again, you’re likely to say something like “I don’t feel like we had the strongest connection, but I wish you all the best.”
This can come across a bit harsh, particularly if the other person did feel a strong connection.
But at the same time, nobody can say you lead people on or mince your words about where you stand.
2) You don’t hide what you want or don’t want
The next of the signs you have a straightforward personality that might intimidate some people is closely related to the first sign.
You aren’t afraid to say what you want or don’t want.
This may be for bigger things like dating as above, but it’s often in your daily and smaller interactions as well.
This can intimidate some, especially in Western and Anglophone societies that often put a prize on being “polite” and speaking “nicely” and in a more indirect manner.
If you’re in a store and an attendant keeps asking if you want to try on clothes you’re looking at, you’re likely to say “can I please have some space to look?”
This is a way of saying exactly what you want at that time without sugarcoating it.
This may intimidate some people or come across rude to folks who are more circumspect and give more importance to social niceties.
The sales associate in the store may feel worried to approach you again or you may have trouble finding them when you do want to try something on because of your curt way of declining their help earlier.
3) You tell the truth even when it’s ugly
The next of the straightforward personality traits that can throw some people off is that you tell the truth even when it’s ugly.
Say your friend introduces you to some music that’s changed their life and they absolutely love it.
They are so happy to share it with you and play song after song, before eventually asking “isn’t it amazing?”
You tell them it really isn’t your thing, but you’re glad it speaks to them so much.
Ouch!
But honesty should be a plank of any true friendship, right?
You tell the truth even when it’s not what somebody else wants to hear.
Take the following scenario:
A guy’s wife asks him the eternal question:
“Do these pants make me look fat?”
The correct straightforward response?
“A bit yeah… But I like it.”
4) You fight your hard for your goals
The next sign of a very direct and straightforward personality is focusing extremely hard on your goals.
This can inspire some people, but it can also intimidate others.
For one thing, you stand the chance of becoming something of a workaholic, which can throw others off kilter and make them feel like you don’t care enough about them.
For another thing, the ferocity with which you pursue your goals can leave some more cognizant of their own shortcomings.
When they see you going out hard every day to chase your dreams, they become more aware of the ways in which they themselves are not doing that, and it scares them.
Watching how you overcome obstacles and also how you keep improving yourself and your life can make some people feel inadequate.
Success can inspire, but it can also intimidate!
5) You have high standards for yourself and others
This brings up the next of the signs you have a straightforward personality that might intimidate some people: you have high standards.
You hold yourself to a high standard in terms of fitness, diet, behavior and values, and you expect others to do the same.
You aren’t a perfectionist, by any means, but you are direct in that you expect a lot of yourself and of others.
Excuses and playing the victim don’t tend to impress you much and you stay away from them.
This can intimidate some people quite a bit.
Take the following scenario:
Your friend tells you she’s depressed and hates her life and job. She says nothing ever gets better and she’s tired of everything. She’s tried every medication, every therapist and every alternative counselling method.
You say you’re sorry to hear it and suggest she start by looking for a new job. Even if she feels like crap at least a new job could be a change of scene and jump start her life a bit.
She tells you that you don’t get it and that won’t help. You make one or two more suggestions before losing interest.
Your friend isn’t interested in taking action that could improve her life, so why should you be interested in offering advice?
6) You’re excited to share your passions and interests
The next of the signs you have a straightforward personality that might intimidate some people is that your excitement to share what you’re into scares some people off.
Personally I enjoy hearing about people’s passions and the things they love.
I don’t personally have much interest in golf, for example, but hearing from friends about their passion for watching and playing the sport is inspiring.
However for some people, a strong passion in something they don’t like can be a bit intimidating.
This is especially true if you have an interest that isn’t very mainstream or well understood.
Perhaps you’re passionate about a type of music few people listen to or a spiritual path that’s not well understood or controversial such as Scientology.
This can definitely scare some people off, because you talking about the subject and trying to spur an interest in other people makes them feel pressured and overwhelmed.
7) You don’t laugh at jokes you don’t find funny
The next of the signs you have a straightforward personality that might intimidate some people is that you don’t laugh at things you don’t find funny.
No matter who it is, you judge a joke on its own merits.
You don’t laugh just to be nice.
Many people do.
When you’re a person who doesn’t automatically or easily laugh just to be nice, it can throw some people off.
They’re used to everyone laughing at jokes whether or not they’re funny but they come up against a blank wall when they try to get you to crack a smile.
The same goes for a taste in comedy.
If a friend or colleague tries to get you interested in a comedian “everybody” finds funny, you aren’t going to agree just for the sake of fitting in.
For example, many friends of mine find Dave Chappelle very funny, including those who like his stands against “woke” culture.
I don’t really find him funny at all. Why lie about it? He tells the odd joke that gets me to laugh but I mostly find him a very mediocre comedian.
Sorry!
8) You stand up for your beliefs no matter what
Another of the key signs you have a straightforward personality that might intimidate some people is that you stand up for your beliefs no matter what.
Even if it’s not popular to be category A in an area that’s mostly category B, you don’t hide who you are.
Even if you’re the only one dressed a certain style for religious or spiritual reasons while many others look at you strangely, you don’t change how you dress.
It’s who you are and what you believe.
If you’re offered a job that’s very promising for your career but it requires supporting something you do not believe, you turn it down.
Betraying who you are and what you stand for just isn’t in your playbook, no matter what the potential benefits might be.
9) You confront people who treat you wrong
The next of the very straightforward behaviors that can scare some people off is that you confront people who treat you wrong.
I have many friends who talk a lot about what they will do or would do when somebody treats them badly.
But then the talk never turns into anything concrete.
Maybe that’s a good thing, after all nobody wants any felonies on their hands.
But as a straightforward person you at least verbally confront those who treat you wrong.
People who cheated you, lied to you, hurt you or misled you get an earful. Just like they should.
This leads into the last point…
10) You protect friends and family at all times
The last of the signs you have a straightforward personality that might intimidate some people is that you stand up for those close to you no matter what.
If somebody insults your friend, partner or family member, you get in their face.
You tell them to back off.
This can certainly intimidate some people, even sometimes the people you are standing up for.
“No babe it’s OK, seriously. Don’t worry about that guy who grabbed my ass as ajoke while I was in line.”
But you’re already in his face and shouting at him while your girlfriend watches with a mixture of pride and horror.
Direct from the source
Having a straightforward personality means you come across a bit higher voltage than the average person.
You don’t have a filter and you prefer to say what you mean than sugarcoat it.
This can have many benefits but it can also backfire in some cases.
At the end of the day, having a straightforward personality can be a very helpful thing.
It’s just a matter of becoming more self-aware of how it impacts those around you and what you can use it for to your advantage in life.
