Louisa Lopez
Don’t you just love those comfortable friendly people that make you feel happy and relaxed in their presence? Maybe you are one of those people too.
Thinking about some of my very sweetest friends, I’m going to share some of the things they and others do that show me how everyone feels at home when they are close.
1) You get chatting to people everywhere
I like to think I’m an outgoing and chatty person, but an ex of mine made me realize he was a true expert. Everywhere he would go he’d be giving out friendly greetings and looking really interested in whomever we would meet. He seemed to have endless energy.
Still, I also love to chat with people and I feel that I am easily able to adapt to almost any situation and type of people. I make new friends in restaurants, on the street, on the beach, wherever! One girl recently asked me for directions. I joked that we should become instant friends as we both had similar hair (lol), then realized we actually should be friends! And now we are.
I’m a nomad though so if I didn’t do this I wouldn’t have many friends!
2) They end up telling you their life story
My friend Zaine is also amazing at befriending people. And with her, it goes a step further. Though it’s not intentional, she can sometimes read people’s thoughts if they have something on their mind. That can make her feel uncomfortable.
So more often than not she just starts chatting with them and they tell her deep things or secrets. (Instead of the knowledge just being hidden inside her which is stressful.)
She’s also so good at communication, that she will takes an interest in the details of people’s lives, remembering their kids’ birthdays, niece’s wedding, and so on. She stays in touch even if she’s in another country and hasn’t seen them in years. She’s travelled a lot and now many people invite her to come visit them in their houses around the world. This wouldn’t happen if they didn’t feel very relaxed with her!
3) People share other deep things with you
Although I’m not as outgoing as my ex, or as thoughtfully conscientious as Zaine, a lot of people do share deep emotional things with me, that they wouldn’t share with others.
I think that’s because I’m kind, compassionate, and not judgemental. I don’t get shocked often, and if I do I wouldn’t show it unless appropriate. I like to feel that I make people feel comfortable and safe and that encourages them to share their burdens and joys with me. Zaine experiences the same thing.
4) And can talk to you when they are depressed
If you’ve ever suffered from depression, or just feeling down, you’ll know that it can be hard to talk to certain people. The kind of people who only ever seem happy and you don’t feel you can be yourself when you don’t feel the same way.
Maybe you feel like you won’t be able to be interesting enough, or positive enough, or upbeat enough.
People like some of my special friends, who are very honest about who they are, make it easier for me to turn to them when in need. People like this don’t need you to be a certain way, they are just happy to meet you as you are.
5) You always take care to be an attentive host
Back to Zaine. One thing I’ve noticed about her is her attention to other people’s comfort. If you visit her at home you will get all of the tea and food you could ever want. She’ll be on the watch to anticipate needs you didn’t know you even had!
Even when we are out in a bar or restaurant she will make sure that everyone has a comfortable cushion, and that no one is feeling left out. She is always attuned to the well-being of others, whether mentally or physically.
6) You’re loving and joyful
Although I mentioned that people who are ‘too happy’ can be intimidating for depressed people, there are special people out there that you can turn to no matter what your mood is. People like one of my friends, Natalie, are always filled with love and warmth. Just talking to her on the phone is like receiving a hug.
Being with her in person always makes you smile and feel good. She’s not happy 100% of the time but somehow the love and joy are always shining out from her. If you’re like this too you may similarly great at making people feel safe and relaxed..
7) People smile a lot around you
With such wonderful qualities as these, it can be no wonder that companions of these people will be smiling a lot in their presence. Whether from laughter, contentment, or just knowing you are with a truly relaxed soul that you can be yourself with, those grins keep coming.
If you’re the one who often lights up a party, event or even a home, then you probably have this warm characteristic.
8) People turn to you for hangouts and emotional 911
One of the most important traits that make people feel at home with you is having empathy and compassion. When you can truly understand what another person is going through and feel deep care and concern for their wellbeing, it creates a safe space for vulnerability and connection.
My dear friend Sara has exemplified this quality from the time we first met. When I shared something painful from my past, she listened fully attentively, reflecting back what she heard without judgment. I felt heard and understood on a whole new level.
Sara extends this empathy not only to friends but also strangers. I’ve watched her patiently listen to a homeless man’s story when others walked quickly by. She makes eye contact and asks thoughtful questions. Her warmth seems to surround the other person like a comforting hug.
And that’s why everyone wants to hang out with her..
Final thoughts
If the traits I’ve described sound familiar, you likely have an incredible capacity to make people feel comfortable and at home in your presence. This is such a precious gift not everyone possesses, so take a moment to feel proud!
As you move through life radiating warmth, acceptance, and understanding, you plant seeds of love that can blossom into beautiful friendships. You create spaces where people can set down their heavy loads for a time and just be.
Keep sharing that caring warmth. The world needs more people like you.
