17 signs you have a calming presence and people feel at ease around you

“Some cause happiness WHEREVER they go; others WHENEVER they go.”

So which one are you?

Most of the time, the people who are a joy to be around are the ones who are calm—those who make others feel at ease with their presence.

If you want to know if you exude a calm vibe, see if you can relate to these 17 signs.

1) You look approachable

When we’re talking about first impressions, what makes one’s presence calming is when they look approachable.

You’re one of the lucky people blessed with gentle features that make you look harmless.

You don’t have a Resting Bitch Face and you have body language that says “Come here, I won’t bite.”

This makes people automatically drawn to you even if you aren’t even doing anything.

2) People’s eyes light up when they see you

In a world that’s quite stressful and toxic, people with a calming presence are a godsend.

You know you’re a joy to be around when people actually light up and flash big smiles when they see you.

Seeing you is like seeing their beloved pet after a long day’s work, or seeing the delicious dish they ordered being served after waiting for so long.

They actually get excited and you can clearly see it in how their faces light up when they see you.

3) No one holds their breath when you’re around

When you enter a room, you don’t notice a shift in the atmosphere.

People don’t freeze and stop what they’re doing to accommodate you. In fact, everyone’s just the same as before you entered it—well, just a bit happier that you’re there.

That’s because you’re no Hitler—you don’t give off negative vibes that make people tense.

4) You know how to handle your emotions

People who freak out and go from happy to angry in a minute are exhausting to be around. You don’t know when they’ll have an outburst, and anything can just set them off.

Luckily, you’re not like this at all!

You know how to regulate your emotions and this makes people feel safe to be around you.

They know that even if they accidentally offend you or hurt you in any way, you would handle it in the most peaceful way.

5) You rarely raise your voice

People wonder why you never get angry.

But that’s actually not accurate. You DO get angry but it’s just that you don’t shout or raise your voice—especially not in front of others.

You feel all the feels, for sure. You’re human after all.

However, you have learned that raising one’s voice can escalate tension quickly. So you find a way to express your frustrations without causing any drama.

6) Strangers feel they’ve known you since birth

For some reason, many people have told you that it seems like they’ve known you for a long time.

They’d say things and do things with you that they’d only normally do with long-time friends.

Even strangers feel comfortable sharing their deepest, darkest secrets to you. They’d say “I’ve never told anyone this, but I trust you…”

And that’s probably because you have a warm presence that makes people feel at ease.

7) You have the talent in making people open up

Some people just find it hard to open up. But not to you.

You’re like a dog whisperer. You know what to say to people to make them reveal themselves to you.

Even the shyest or sternest person would be talking to you about their lives without much effort. You just exude a warm vibe that can make people talk and talk and talk.

8) No one tenses up when you open your mouth

Some people have sharp tongues. They’re not very careful with their words because, well…they really don’t give a damn how others feel.

This is why people stay away from them even if they’re actually kind and generous.

You, on the other hand, have trained yourself to become tactful. You don’t spit out harsh criticisms or make insensitive jokes.

For you, communication should always be gentle and nurturing.

You know that people will never ever forget how you make them feel—and you’d rather make them feel good about themselves by being extra careful with your words.

9) Friends go to you in times of great distress

When we’re feeling down, we only want to be with people who make us feel cared for.

You’re this person to your friends and family.

Sometimes, your voice is enough to soothe them. Sometimes, they’d need a hug from you.

And what’s interesting is that after your interaction—no matter how brief— they feel much better. It’s as if all they need is your presence.

10) You don’t judge

You know what can make people feel uneasy? Judgmental people. Especially those who gossip.

You don’t even have to be judgmental to them. Once they know someone has a judgmental personality, they’ll feel uneasy no matter how that person tries to be warm and welcoming.

Luckily, you aren’t this kind of person. You’re the opposite.

You’re very respectful towards everyone and you don’t look down on anyone. And sure, you’re critical sometimes, but you’re never blunt or harsh.

You’re a safe space, and this could be one reason why people love you.

11) You have a relaxed body language

You rarely cross your arms and impatiently tap your feet. Your facial expressions are more relaxed than anxious.

And when you move, you do things calmly even if you’re actually in a rush.

What’s your secret?

Well, you’re not simply trying to look calm—you are calm! And your body language reflects it, infecting the people around you.

12) They don’t get defensive towards you

When you get a little honest, they don’t back off and say “Woah, what makes you think that?” or “Well, I’m not the bad one here.”

That’s because you have a calm way of saying things that even the harshest truths come out in a gentle way.

You know that HOW you say something—your tone, your choice of words, your pauses—is as important as what you actually say.

13) They don’t see you as a threat

People feel at ease when they don’t sense any danger. You don’t exude “psycho killer vibes” or “untrustworthy” vibes.

You don’t feel like a competition to them either. In fact, you’re the opposite. You seem like a cheerleader who’d want the best for everyone around them.

This is why people see you as an ally rather than a threat. And when we’re with someone who we consider an ally, of course we feel totally at ease.

14) Some people abuse your kindness

It’s always good to have a calming presence…except on some occasions when it isn’t.

Have people intimidated you and treated you like a doormat? Have they abused your kindness because they know you won’t bark?

Sadly, in this world we’re living in, some people use your kindness to their advantage.

If you’ve had experiences like these, then you probably have a calming presence. Don’t try to change who you are just because of a few bad people.

Show them that kindness and calmness are still way more powerful than intimidation. Just learn to defend yourself against these people, but don’t ever change who you are.

The world needs more people like you.

15) You’re nurturing

You carry around biscuits in case someone is hungry.

You know what to do in case of an emergency. You make sure everyone’s comfortable as much as possible.

It’s like you’re everyone’s parent, but the kind who never yells or gives long lectures.

And this makes you a blessing to everyone around you.

16) You express genuine gratitude

So not only are you positive, you also express gratitude in big and small ways.

When someone does something nice—even if it’s as simple as letting you borrow a pen—you’ll thank them sincerely.

You won’t just say a quick “thanks”, you’d actually express it from your heart.

You’d look them in the eye, hand them back the pen, and say something like “I really appreciate that you let me borrow your pen and waited for me to finish. I owe you big time.”

17) You’re brimming with positivity

You may not be the bubbliest and most cheerful person around, but you always have something good to say about everything.

You’re an appreciator of life and you’re full of hope.

You’d never say something like “Bah, it’s too late for us now.” You’d go “Why not? Anything is possible!”

Positivity radiates from you and this makes your presence feel like a warm hug, especially to those who are struggling to stay positive.

Last words

If you can relate to at least half of the signs in this list, then you’re definitely a joy to be around.

You’re a true blessing to others, especially to the people closest to you.

On the other hand, if while reading this article, you feel like your presence is not calming at all, don’t feel bad.

It’s not easy to have a calming presence and only very few people are naturally calm.

If you want to become one, turn the signs in this list into habits. Do them one at a time, and pretty soon, you’ll notice that people around you start to get more relaxed in your presence.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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