Finding love is awesome. However, sometimes, we have to work a bit harder to find a partner who’s truly worthy and will treat us like we deserve.
If you didn’t have much success with love in the past, it might be time to rearrange some things in your approach.
But to come to that conclusion, let’s first see what signs show that you clearly need to lift your standards when it comes to love.
1) You’re swiping right on almost anyone
Let me ask you something: How high are your standards?
Do you find yourself swiping right on almost anyone who shows interest? If so, you’re clearly sacrificing quality for quantity.
Instead of patiently waiting for a meaningful connection, you’re settling for surface-level relations.
There’s no way all of these people are good material, and you know it. It’s okay to have some fun, but if you want to find love, you need to stop doing this.
Remember, love is about finding someone who truly resonates with you, not just getting matches.
2) You’re okay with wishy-washy, on-again-off-again relationships
Accepting wishy-washy, on-again-off-again relationships quickly creates emotional instability and makes it challenging to build a strong, lasting bond.
It messes with your stability and makes building a real, solid connection feel like trying to nail jelly to a wall.
When your relationship feels like a rollercoaster without the safety harness of consistency, it’s a sign that you deserve something more stable and dependable.
You need to upgrade from a shaky bicycle to a smooth ride – you deserve a steady love, not one that keeps you guessing.
And why are you swiping right and being okay with lackluster relationships? Maybe you’re scared of being single.
3) You’re scared of being single
If you’re anything like me, you don’t like being single. There’s just something about being in a relationship with someone that’s comforting.
But hanging onto a relationship just because you’re scared of flying solo can mess with the real deal of love.
Love should be more than just having someone around; it’s about having a true partner who shares your values and fulfills you in every way.
Instead of settling for company, aim for a connection that goes deeper and makes your heart genuinely happy.
And look out for the little warning signs.
4) You’re brushing off those little warning signs
Imagine you’re driving this car, and every now and then, you feel a little shake or hear a weird noise.
It’s tempting to just turn up the music and ignore it, thinking, “Eh, it’s probably nothing.” I mean, I’m doing this now with my car, so I know what I’m saying here.
But here’s the deal: those little hiccups, like inconsistent behavior or a lack of support, are early alerts. It’s as if your car is saying, “Hey, something might need fixing here.”
The point I’m trying to make here is not to neglect the warning signs in both your car and the relationship.
Now, excuse me while I go to the closest mechanic.
5) You’re constantly sacrificing your own happiness
A balanced relationship is like a tandem bike ride. You’re both pedaling together, but you’re also free to have your own style, explore side paths, and enjoy the breeze.
If it feels like you’re doing all the pedaling and your partner isn’t cheering you on, it’s time for a pit stop.
In a relationship, you should feel the wind in your hair, not like you’re stuck on a stationary ride.
Your dreams matter, and a supportive partner is your biggest cheerleader, not a backseat passenger.
So it’s time for a heart-to-heart talk to find that tandem groove where both of you can chase dreams and share the journey.
6) You find yourself making excuses like a pro for your partner’s less-than-stellar behavior
Becoming a pro at making excuses for your partner’s less-than-awesome actions is like giving them a free pass to keep doing stuff that doesn’t fly.
You’re always saying, “Oh, they’re just having a bad day,” whenever they cross the lines. But you’ve got to hit pause on excuses.
Love should be built on honest chats and calling out when things aren’t cool. It’s not about justifying things; it’s about being a team that communicates, respects each other, and grows together.
It’s time to drop the excuses and pick up some real talk. At least you’ll know where you stand.
7) You don’t feel like you’re getting the respect and appreciation you deserve
If we look at relationships and marriages as gardens, it’s obvious both sides need to tend equally for the garden to thrive, right?
If your partner forgets to water the garden or give your efforts some sunshine, you end up with a garden with only half the care it needs.
Love should make you feel like the rarest, most beautiful flower in the garden, not wondering if your petals are even noticed.
So, my advice to you is to check in on your garden and maybe ask for a bit more sunshine and appreciation to help it thrive.
8) Honest and open talks with your partner feel like climbing Mount Everest
You’re at the base of Mount Everest, and you know you need to reach the summit, but it feels like such an overwhelming challenge.
That’s what it’s like when you want to have an honest and open talk with your partner.
It’s not that the chats are impossible, but it seems like this massive, daunting task. So what happens?
You hesitate, avoid it, or even dread the idea. You fear potential emotional avalanches or communication cracks.
But just like climbing Everest requires preparation, patience, and the right gear, having serious talks with your partner demands a similar approach.
You need to be equipped with empathy, active listening, and readiness to understand each other.
And, much like reaching the Everest summit is monumental, having honest and open conversations leads to a stronger, more connected relationship.
9) You’ve kinda lost yourself in your relationship and forgot what makes you, well, you
You know how when you’re into a really good book or a TV show, you can get so immersed that you forget about everything else?
Well, losing yourself in a relationship is a bit like that, but with another person. You become a little too absorbed in the love story.
It’s something that always happened to me, and I needed months to be myself again.
When you realize you’ve put your hobbies, dreams, and the quirky things that make you, well, you, on the back burner, it’s a sign.
This is a sign you need to lift your standards when it comes to love. Because the best relationships are the ones where you encourage each other to be the unique characters you are, not where one person becomes the whole plot.
10) You’re stuck in a relationship that’s more drama than love
Staying in a dramatic or toxic relationship is emotionally draining and even damaging to your mindset.
Recognizing when it’s time to break free from such a situation is an essential step in self-care and self-respect. Love should be nurturing, not a source of constant turmoil.
And as I wrote in an article about finding your inner peace, you need to find it by having less drama in your life. Not more.
11) You’re more in love with the idea of love than with the person you’re actually with
If you find yourself more in love with the concept of love itself rather than the person you’re actually with, it results in unrealistic expectations and endless disappointment.
Grounding your feelings in the reality of your relationship and finding a genuine connection is a key part of raising your standards in love.
Appreciate the quirks, accept the imperfections, and find joy in the unpretentious connection you share.
12) You’re chasing wealth instead of love
I’m not saying you’re a golddigger, but staying in a relationship primarily for financial reasons while your heart isn’t fully invested isn’t right or fair to your partner.
You obviously don’t care about love as much as you care about money and status. It’s not my cup of tea, but if that’s what you’re after, at least at the moment, just admit it to yourself.
In fact, I think this last reason is a potential source of all your trouble.
13) You doubt you’re worthy of a healthy, loving relationship
If you doubt your value and believe you don’t deserve a healthy, loving relationship, it’s time to work on building your self-esteem.
Everyone deserves love that makes them feel valued and cherished, so set your standards accordingly for a more fulfilling romantic life.
In five years’ time, you’ll be looking at this period of your life as just another episode and as something that made you stronger and more appreciative of love.