Pearl Nash
Are you wondering if you look like someone who has poise and grace?
It all comes down to how you carry yourself.
There are numerous signs that signal whether you’re someone who does have poise and grace.
Ask yourself if you have these 10 things and you’ll know if you do!
1) You never rush
Now, so many of us live in cities where rushing is a part of our every day.
Rushing is so baked into the culture of cities like London, New York and Bangkok.
You might feel like it’s hard not to pick up on the energy of rushing if you live in a city…
…But if you’re someone who carries yourself with poise and grace, you’ll not carry around a frenetic energy with you wherever you go.
A frenetic energy could look like running for transport, while trying to balance your latte in one hand and make a phone call in the other.
Think: the stereotype of New Yorkers.
In other words, there’s an undercurrent of stress and intensity.
If you’re someone with poise and grace, you’ll be able to acknowledge that you’re surrounded by a frenzied energy without playing into it.
Simply put: you’re able to keep your cool.
You’ll walk at a reasonable pace that you’re happy with – even if people around you are pacing at 100 miles an hour!
2) You don’t barge
Let’s take the commuting example again:
Someone without poise and grace is far more likely to barge another person out of the way to squeeze into a subway carriage or bus.
They’re likely to shoulder barge (or even push!) someone if it means they can get what they want.
Yet, if you’re someone with poise and grace you just wouldn’t even consider this.
If there isn’t space, there isn’t space…
…Nothing would reduce you to barging into someone to get somewhere faster.
What’s more, if you have poise and grace and you were to accidentally bump into someone, you’d be incredibly apologetic!
And instead of pushing past someone, you’d be more likely to hold the door for another.
3) You’re not a fidgeter
Cast your mind back to the last time you went out on a coffee date with your friend.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Did you maintain eye contact?
- Did you check your phone at all? How many times?
- Did you play with things on the table or play with your clothes?
It might be a little hard to recall what you did exactly, as some of the things we do are almost unconscious – such as playing with our hair or clothes.
But… If you think you did maintain eye contact, but you didn’t check your phone or digit with things on the table then congratulations, you have poise and grace!
These traits are highly commendable, and they show you’re a composed person.
By doing the above, it shows that you’re engaged and present in a conversation, and respectful, which brings me to my next point!
4) You show respect in all areas of life
Now, if you have poise and grace, being respectful isn’t limited to one area of life.
Those who truly carry themselves with these traits are respectful to people around them, to themselves and to their environment.
Respect starts with self-love; people with poise and grace have good relationships with themselves.
So if you start your day with positive thoughts about yourself and you make decisions throughout the day that support you, it’s likely that you’re someone with poise and grace.
What’s more, poised and graceful people are highly respectful to others…
…And it doesn’t matter whether they know them well or not.
They’re not judgemental people, and they’re fundamentally kind and respectful towards other people’s beliefs and opinions.
As for the environment, you’d never see a person with poise and grace going out of their way to harm the planet.
This means it’s unlikely they work in toxic industries.
5) You get complimented on your laugh
Has anyone ever told you that you have a nice laugh? Maybe they’ve said that it’s ‘sweet’, ‘cute’ or ‘soft’…
…All of these are indicators that you have poise and grace.
Having a soft laugh is a quality of someone with these traits.
You see, there is such a thing as having an un-graceful laugh.
Believe me, you’ll know it when you hear it.
I had an experience recently where someone was literally snorting so loud in a cafe I was in for a few minutes…
…Now, I’m sure what she was laughing at was as humorous as she made out but it was so damn annoying.
Laughter should lift the spirits of others, not make them enraged!
People who have laughs that distract others and take up a lot of space are not people with poise.
6) Manners are important to you
Manners differ from one culture to the next…
…In India, you might see people eating some dishes with their hands, which is totally acceptable by their social standards.
But let’s say we’re specifically talking about Western manners here.
When it comes to eating, if you’re someone who wouldn’t dare talk with food in their mouth (and you definitely wouldn’t put your elbows on the table!), then you likely have bags of poise and grace.
You know you have these traits if you gesture that your mouth is full when someone else asks you a question…
7) You stand up straight
Body language speaks volumes… It never lies!
It can signal if you’re confident, shy or if you have poise and grace.
People will think you carry bags of the latter two if you are someone who walks around with your head up proud and your back straight.
I used to date someone who made themselves so small, and it was so unattractive. The worst thing was, he didn’t realize he was doing it!
To me, it signaled that he didn’t have any poise.
Simply put: you’ll need to be conscious about whether you’re standing up straight or not.
In truth, this one does take a little bit of training if it’s not something you think you already do…
But it’s worth it if you want to be someone who carries yourself with poise and grace.
It will also help how you generally feel about yourself, as you walk around with your shoulders back.
8) You keep your calm
Life just loves throwing curveballs at us…
…No one is able to avoid the unexpected!
But we do have the ability to choose how we respond to the curveballs.
People who have traits of being poised and graceful aren’t the sort to flap like maniacs when things go wrong.
You won’t see them shouting, crying or panicking about a situation in public.
They have a cool, calm and collected front – even if that’s not what’s going on beneath the surface.
If you’re wondering whether you are poised and graceful, think back to a time that you faced a challenge when you were out in public. Did you:
- Start screaming on the spot
- Take a deep breathe and think about how to deal with it
If it’s b) then it’s likely that you have the traits you hoped for!
9) You’re not a gossip
Gossiping is never a good trait. It’s unattractive!
It’s not nice to talk about someone behind their back, period. What’s more, if you talk about another person to others then you’ll unnerve them too!
They’ll be wondering what you say about them when they’re not around.
You can guess what I’m going to say next…
Being a gossip is the opposite of being poised and graceful.
Even if you feel yourself wanting to have a moan about something someone else did, keep it to yourself!
As a rule of thumb, if it’s not helpful and it’s harmful, don’t say it!
By moaning and gossiping you’ll act like you don’t have poise and grace.
10) Don’t be a grump
Now, this isn’t to say that you can’t express how you’re truly feeling if you are a little bit grumpy one day.
But there’s a difference between having a bad day and just being a downright grump all of the time.
Just talking about what is up in your life, from your work situation to your relationship, is what you can expect grumps to be doing.
These kinds of people are not the poised and graceful amongst us!
Highlighting the negatives and huffing all of the time are not things you want to emulate if you’re seeking to be poised and grateful.
If you find you are, change it!
