Paul Brian
It’s the age-old question: are you extroverted or introverted?
I’ve tried to find out for years before reaching a surprising conclusion recently.
I’m both.
Here are the signs you’re an ambivert, too.
1) You can’t predict what you’ll do
Ambiverts are unpredictable, sometimes even to themselves.
If you get a call to go out you might say yes or you might say no.
It really has more to do with how you’re feeling on a certain day or whether the invitation appeals to you.
There’s no hard and fast rule about whether you’ll want to socialize or just spend time by yourself.
It changes situation-by-situation and day-by-day.
“An extrovert will likely accept without hesitation, and an introvert is likely to decline in favor of staying in.
“The ambivert will probably consider the pros and cons of that particular outing. They could go either way.”
2) You’re understanding of the problems of others
One of the more surprising signs you are an ambivert is that you’re highly empathetic.
Partly as a result of being a combination of different inner impulses, you have a talent to understand the challenges faced by people around you.
This leads to you being generally well-liked and versatile.
You make friends with many different people and often help friends and loved ones through crises.
3) You march to the beat of your own drum
Another of the surprising signs you are an ambivert is that you’re not easy to label.
You march to the beat of your own drum, or at least you try to.
It’s not always easy to do, and if you’re seeking for answers you may feel like this ability to find your own groove keeps eluding you.
If you’re struggling with this, I empathize as a fellow ambivert.
When it comes to your personal spiritual journey, which toxic habits have you unknowingly picked up?
Is it the need to be positive all the time? Is it a sense of superiority over those who lack spiritual awareness?
Even well-meaning gurus and experts can get it wrong.
The result is that you end up achieving the opposite of what you’re searching for. You do more to harm yourself than to heal.
You may even hurt those around you, despite having a strong understanding of them.
In this eye-opening video, the shaman Rudá Iandé explains how so many of us fall into the toxic spirituality trap. He himself went through a similar experience at the start of his journey.
As he mentions in the video, spirituality should be about empowering yourself. Not suppressing emotions, not judging others, but forming a pure connection with who you are at your core.
If this is what you’d like to achieve, click here to watch the free video.
Even if you’re well into your spiritual journey and already carving your own path as an ambivert, it’s never too late to unlearn the myths you’ve bought for truth!
4) You’re a different person to different people
Ambiverts can sometimes be the gray man, in the sense that they’re one thing to one person and something else to another.
People tend to see what they want in you and project onto you.
This can be positive or negative, of course.
On the upside, you will tend to appeal to a wide variety of people and be well-suited for careers with many different skill sets.
On the downside, you can sometimes feel like the “real you” isn’t being seen by others.
Some see you as a happy go-lucky person who loves to hang out with others, while others think you’re a bookish and chill introvert.
The truth is…
You’re both.
5) You’re often called on to be a mediator
As an ambivert, you may often find yourself in the role of a mediator.
When friends or colleagues are arguing, they will turn to you more times than not.
You’re seen as someone who understands others and can help bring peace.
You are particularly good at bridging clashes of personality between others.
This is a very valuable talent, certainly, but it can also be stressful when you feel called on to be the one who always is put upon to help make peace between warring parties.
Why should it always be on you?
The truth is that the majority of people are much more introverted or extroverted.
When you’re both there are sometimes unfair expectations put on you to understand and solve the issues of everyone else.
6) You’re highly flexible in social situations
More on the plus side, you tend to be highly flexible in social situations.
You’re able to get down with the cool kids and be a refined gentlemen or lady with the aristocrats.
You can sip tea in a cafe or rock your head to heavy metal.
You’re able to walk on the wild side of a night out and enjoy a quiet day out gardening with a sun hat on while talking about philosophy with a fellow gardening friend.
As an ambivert, you’re not bound to any one role.
This may lead to many different opinions about you from different quarters, as you are something of an enigma and people aren’t always sure how to “place” you.
“The flexibility of the ambivert personality is what makes it so helpful in business, but a byproduct of that reality can be different behavior in different social contexts—and the wildly different reputations that result.”
7) You get unexpected boosts of energy
An experience which ambiverts have that is unique is they tend to have sudden unexpected boosts of energy from interactions.
Meeting someone new can get an ambivert very pumped up for the day, while spending a quiet afternoon alone reading can be intensely refreshing and leave them ready to go for the coming work day.
Ambiverts draw their energy from being with others and socializing, but also from being alone.
This leads to getting energy in unexpected ways.
For example, a surprise meeting with an old friend that leads to going out to a bar and dancing may be revitalizing instead of tiring.
“One of the most popular ways of defining introverts and extraverts is the fact that introverts can be social but are drained by that use of their time, whereas extraverts feel drained of energy after spending too much time in solitude.”
8) You don’t get down when nobody’s around
Extroverts draw most of their energy from being around others. They tend to feel significantly sad and drained when nobody’s around for more than a day or two.
Ambiverts are different. They love to meet people and socialize at times, but some days or even weeks alone don’t bother them.
If you’re an ambivert, you’ll notice that you don’t get down when nobody’s around, at least not very quickly.
It’s not that you don’t care about having people around, it’s just that you’re able to also experience the benefits of being alone.
This could be everything from working on your personal projects and hobbies to watching films or listening to music and strolling around in nature.
You don’t feel depressed when you’re in solitude, you feel just fine. Although too long in complete isolation can also leave you feeling drained, which is where the distinction comes in from introverts.
9) You want to be in charge of your own life
Ambiverts love to be around others and alone, with everything in its right measure.
Of course, life rarely gives us the exact amount we want of social situations and alone time, which is why the ambivert tends to be someone who can feel overwhelmed at times.
They may feel like they’re being called on to be overly social or overly solitary at certain times when they’re in the mood for something else.
This can lead to a feeling that others (introverts and extroverts) are calling the shots and you’re just along for the ride.
This is where it can be very vital for an ambivert to define their own life path proactively.
What does it take to build a life filled with exciting opportunities and passion-fueled adventures?
Most of us hope for a life like that, but we feel stuck, unable to achieve the goals we wishfully set at the start of each year.
I felt the same way until I took part in Life Journal. Created by teacher and life coach Jeanette Brown, this was the ultimate wake-up call I needed to stop dreaming and start taking action.
Click here to find out more about Life Journal.
So what makes Jeanette’s guidance more effective than other self-development programs?
It’s simple:
Jeanette’s created a unique way of putting YOU in control of your life.
She’s not interested in telling you how to live your life. Instead, she’ll give you lifelong tools that’ll help you achieve all your goals, keeping the focus on what you’re passionate about.
And that’s what makes Life Journal so powerful.
If you’re ready to start living the life you’ve always dreamt of, you need to check out Jeanette’s advice. Who knows, today could be the first day of your new life.
10) You like working on your own but also in a group
One of the cliches that people joke about is related to job interviews.
When the interviewer asks whether you prefer to work independently or with others, you say you love both. That way you make sure you get the question “right” and get the job.
The difference with an ambivert is that saying both in this case would be absolutely the truth.
At work, ambiverts don’t always have the choice and may end up in a position that’s more suited to introverts or extroverts.
But they will tend to thrive best and reach their full potential in jobs that are a mix of extroversion and introversion.
Jobs which require some work on a team and collaboration but then independent work as well are the ambivert’s sweet spot.
Examples of ambivert-optimized jobs include things like being:
- A salesperson
- A nurse
- A creative director
- A counselor
- A journalist
11) You’re comfortable dating introverts and extroverts
When it comes to romance the ambivert is happy to date both introverts or extroverts.
The only caveat here is that someone who is introverted or extroverted to an extreme degree may not appeal to the ambivert.
This is because while they like both sides of the spectrum, the ambivert does eventually get tired of being super sociable or in solitude for too long.
If they’re with a partner who only wants their space or is all-on all the time, both can become too much.
However a moderately extroverted or introverted individual is fine for them to date and will not throw you off if you’re an ambivert.
The only key is that your partner is understanding of your unique need for a mix of outgoing and reserved situations.
12) You’re able to connect with really diverse friends
One of the pleasantly surprising signs you are an ambivert is that you make friends with just about everyone.
You may have friends who are from very different worlds: white collar, blue collar, redneck, you name it…
You don’t necessarily have a “type,” although you may gravitate towards those who share some of your interests and focuses.
As an ambivert you’re able to adjust your social barometer to those around you.
This leads to making deep connections quite easily, often to the astoundment of those around you who may have a harder time reading people or making friends.
“Because their personality doesn’t lean too heavily in either direction, they have a much easier time adjusting their approach to people based on the situation.
“This enables them to connect more easily, and more deeply, with a wider variety of people.”
13) You’re cool with small talk or deep conversation
As an ambivert you may find you tend to be fluid in conversation and enjoy talking to people from all walks of life.
You’re cool with chatting about the weather and sports or deep conversation (not to say conversation about sports can’t get deep at times).
In any case, you’re on your game when it comes to enjoying talking to others.
You love to see how others see the world and share their interests with them, even if it’s just a friendly chat in the coffee line or talking to a neighbor while you take out the trash.
You’ve got the gift of the gab, and you’re also a very good listener.
As I was saying, ambiverts have a unique ability to adjust quite rapidly to meet the demeanor and needs of those they are conversing with.
14) You find too much time alone or in a group exhausting
Too much time in a group or alone can be a bit overwhelming for an ambivert.
Like an amphibious creature, you prefer some time in water and land.
Only one or the other becomes exhausting but also, frankly, boring.
You don’t get the stimulation you crave from only being alone in your room relaxing, but you also get drowned out and drained from always being around others or on the go.
You like a mix of both and can usually adjust just fine.
At the time that one or another type of situations become boring or tiring for you, you will generally find a way to switch it up or communicate your desire to do something different.
However if you’re stuck in a relationship or career that’s really forcing you into a role you find disempowering or exhausting, that’s where something like Life Journal which I recommended earlier can really be a game-changer to turn your life around.
15) The question of being an introvert or extrovert leaves you torn
When you’re an ambivert, the question of whether you’re an introvert or extrovert tends to leave you torn.
I remember growing up I was approached with doing the Meyers-Briggs test at Christmas by an uncle who worked as a business consultant and used it extensively to help employees get along and excel.
I was endlessly confused by the questions relating to being more extroverted or introverted.
My uncle explained it well to me, but I just didn’t quite get it: I was both!
I did the quiz answering one way and then would do it again answering the other way. Both made sense to me, but at the same time, not quite.
It turns out I was just an ambivert.
Mystery solved.
16) You sometimes find it hard to make set plans
The ambivert never knows quite what his or her outlook will be for the day or week.
Even if plans are made, they often get broken. It’s just the nature of being a person who sometimes changes their ideas at the last minute.
Ambiverts aren’t necessarily impulsive and come in all personality types, but they may generally find it harder to make set plans.
If you had a barbecue with friends planned for the weekend and suddenly get into a new book that draws your full attention, it can be extremely tempting to switch it up and just stay in instead.
This can sometimes lead the ambivert to be seen as a nice person who is, however, a bit undependable.
Making friends with other ambiverts is one of the best ways to make the best of this.
17) You make new friends easily
Ambiverts make new friends easily.
At work, in their personal lives and elsewhere, they are able to strike up a connection and form camaraderie with almost anyone.
This remarkable skill can leave others baffled, especially when it comes to meeting a potential date and asking people out.
The ambivert may sometimes be pegged as the ultimate “player” or “seductress,” and there can be some truth to this.
But the deeper level is that the ambivert is just an endlessly curious and dynamic person who’s fascinated by others and getting to know them.
18) You’re not the life of the party or the wallflower
If you go to a party and look around you may be able to quickly spot those who seem more introverted and more extroverted.
The extroverted will be out fist pumping like Pauly D and raising a glass, while the introvert may be standing by the wall checking his phone like it holds the lost runes of some ancient civilization he has to save.
He sure loves that phone.
But the ambivert is neither of these. The ambivert is the girl standing by her friends dancing in a relaxed manner but not overdoing it.
The ambivert is the guy at the bar talking to the bartender and joking with him about a game on TV.
The ambivert isn’t the life of the party or the wallflower. They’re somewhere in between.
19) You have more casual friends than close friends
Ambiverts are very good at making friends, but tend to have a smaller circle of close friends.
If you’re an ambivert you know what I’m talking about.
You may have a large amount of casual and somewhat good friends who you like to call up sometimes or go for a drink with.
But the ones you’d talk to about a personal crisis or major life decision you can count on one hand.
This quality makes the ambivert well-suited for careers that can require a lot of networking and appreciating people without needing to become deep and genuine friends with all.
20) You’re generally known as an easygoing person
Ambiverts come in all shapes and sizes and all personality types.
However they are generally known as easygoing types.
This relates back to what I was mentioning about people seeing different sides of ambiverts depending on the nature of their relationship.
You come across as a person whom others can trust and can live up to their potential with.
This attracts great things into your life, although it can also draw the needier and more desperate sort your way.
Ambiverts Anonymous
Being an ambivert puts you in a unique and valuable position.
You get the best of both worlds.
You will tend to be a well-liked and popular person, but may also feel misunderstood and in need of solitude at times.
Ambiverts are dynamic and multi-talented individuals who are well-suited to many different careers and have many options in love.
Welcome to the club.
