15 signs you have a mysterious personality (people find it hard to “get you”)

You hear whispers from people saying that you’re mysterious and they can’t figure you out, and you wonder what exactly they’re talking about.

Or maybe you’ve heard about how alluring ‘mysterious’ people are and wonder if you’re one of them.

To help you figure that out, in this article I will show you 15 signs that you have a mysterious personality.

1) You’re shy and reclusive

You might not feel like you are being especially mysterious when you keep to yourself. But to those people who exude extroverted energies, people who hide away instead of hanging out with people like them are especially mysterious.

They would see that you keep reading books all by yourself instead of chatting with them, and questions would start popping in their mind. Questions such as “Why is that person all by themselves? Are they sad? Don’t they have friends?”

These questions might hit the mark, or they might be so way off you find them hilarious. But you’re making them wonder… and that’s well within the territory of what being a mysterious person is all about.

2) You don’t overshare

Some people, when they talk, they talk so much that by the end of the day you know not only the things they like, but also their crush when they were in fifth grade, the name of their neighbor’s cat, their best friend’s zodiac sign, and the fact that they used to play with a doll they named Martha.

Air of mystery—gone!

But you don’t really do that. You know just how dangerous oversharing can be, especially in this day and age, and are careful with the things you share with other people.

You might not even be trying to be mysterious here. You might just not see the point in sharing, or you might have overshared in the past and got burnt by it.

Either way, by not being careless with the things you say, you end up cultivating an air of mystery. People know there’s so much they have yet to discover in you, and they can’t help but want to know.

3) You try to keep the conversation about others

People like to talk about themselves and you are perfectly happy keeping it that way. Instead of trying to find ways to make the conversation about you, you’d try to instead make it about them. When they ask you things like “What about you?”, you’d either go quiet, shrug, or otherwise try to deflect the question.

You might not like talking about yourself, or maybe you’re simply more interested in hearing what they have to say about themselves. Perhaps you even think that you’re not really that interesting in the first place.

Either way, keeping the spotlight on others stirs intrigue and mystery. Simply not sharing too much about yourself teases people with the idea that there’s more to you than meets the eye. Actively deflecting questions gives people the idea—which may or may not be true—that you have something to hide.

4) You’re observant

But of course, it’s not like you’re just letting time pass you by while you’re listening to good old Johnny talking about how his tractor broke down two nights ago. You’re also paying attention to the way he holds himself and the way he chooses his words.

Basically, you pay attention. And it might be intuition, or it might be learned, but you’re also quite good at figuring people out based on their body language and aura.

But how does this make you mysterious?

Well, all that observation helps you figure people out, and more often than not you end up surprising people when it turns out that you know more than you’ve been letting on.

People will start thinking things like “Oh my god, they figured me out! How did they do it? What else do they know?!”

The ‘how’ here might be easy enough, but you’ll be surprised at how unobservant people usually are.

5) You’re calm and controlled

In the thick of a raging storm you stand tall and proud. Tempers might be flaring, voices rising, and fists might be flying, but despite all of that you somehow manage to keep a level head and either defuse the situation with ease or leave the scene in style.

And even when there’s absolutely nothing wrong going on, you’d still stand out for staying calm. On a night out with friends, you’d be seen as the voice of reason. Everyone would be acting crazy after downing their ninth shot of vodka while you somehow manage to keep yourself from making a show of yourself.

But how do you manage to stay so calm? What dark and terrifying past did you have to wrestle with just to get your unshakeable self-control? It’s quite a mystery for you too.

6) You’re quirky

You have your quirks and you’re not afraid of them.

It might be a love for an extremely niche interest, a weird habit or verbal tic that people know you by, or simply a tendency to pick up strange projects that others would just consider a pointless waste of time.

Other people might feel pressured to hide their quirks just to be more socially acceptable, but you don’t care in the least. At the same time, you don’t really try to be quirky just for the sake of it, because you honestly don’t see the point in that.

A lot of the time people will judge you for your quirks—that’s just how humans are—but at the same time it also stirs intrigue and curiosity. You become something of an enigmatic figure that people will want to figure out.

7) You’re confident

And of course, all this comes with a healthy dose of confidence. You don’t feel the need to prove yourself to people, and it shows in the way you walk and the way you talk.

When you share the things you have made or done, you’re perfectly fine saying things the way they are and resist the urge to embellish your tale. You don’t get into arguments online to ‘win’—if you get into them at all, it’s because you genuinely want to exchange dialog.

This makes people wonder just where you’re getting your confidence from. And of course, it makes people want to be around you. A lot.

Confidence is sexy, after all.

8) You don’t like to show off

People usually like to puff their chests and show the world what they’re capable of—or just how over-inflated their ego is. Go on any social media site and you’ll find people acting like they’re geniuses who have figured out the secrets of the universe.

But of course, we know that these people are delusional. They’re living a lie.

Now you, on the other hand, don’t really make a fuss over what you do or don’t know. And when you do have to give your two cents on something that you’re well-acquainted with, you say it without making a big deal out of it.

You already get people thinking about you, and being reserved about the things you know only makes that atmosphere of mystery all the heavier. People would think things like “How can they talk about it like it’s no big deal? I’d brag If I knew the same things they do!”

9) You’re independent

You might not think at first that independence is something that makes you mysterious, but trust me—it totally is.

You don’t become desperate for other people’s validation or support, or ask other people for help at all that often. Instead you make your own way in the world with a quiet strength.

People generally rely on… well, making people rely on them, whether it be for emotional support or for favors. That’s one of the fastest, easiest ways people bond with and relate to other people. But if you somehow remain perfectly independent, they can’t help but begin to wonder just how they can connect to you.

They wonder and wonder, and quite likely find themselves attracted to you.

10) You keep your secrets

Some people are really loose-lipped. You’d tell them to not say something because it’s a secret, and in a week just about everyone around you knows. It breaks trust, yes, but hey—that’s just how things are.

On the other hand, you toss all secrets you know into a tight locker and don’t really let them free. Your own secrets are safe, as are those that have been shared to you. It doesn’t matter how hard people try to pry them free—your lips are sealed, and all they are going to get is a wry little smile. Or a frown.

I’ve already said that teasing on the existence of the unknown is a big part of the mysterious atmosphere. Making absolutely sure that you’re never letting any secrets spill on the other hand is going to drive people crazy.

On one hand, it makes you such an enigma that people will want you more than ever to share your secrets with them. On the other hand, it cultivates an atmosphere of trustworthiness about you. That’s a win-win!

11) You don’t conform

You don’t care if the way you act is against the grain or the exact opposite of how society expects you to act. You simply don’t conform to the expectations and demands set by others.

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll rebel for the sake of rebellion. You’re not an anarchist who’d break the speed limit on the freeway simply because you can, or wear rags even though you don’t like them at all simply because society frowns upon them.

Instead, where there’s a conflict between your interests and what other people think, you pick your interests. You might have a sense of fashion that people think are several centuries out of date or a hobby that other people think is ‘cringe’ or stupid.

People will look at you and wonder what makes your brain tick. Why is it that you’re so different, and why aren’t you trying to be more like other people?

12) You have original ideas

There’s nothing new under the sun. If you have ever thought that you might have an original idea or thought… chances are that someone else will have thought of it at some point in the past.

But at the same time, most people just regurgitate or dress up ideas they came across online. When they talk, they reuse the exact same words they have seen someone else use, or even go as far as to talk entirely in quotes and citations. Argue with them, and they’ll go “look at this Youtube link, he’ll explain it to you”

You, on the other hand, make your own arguments. It doesn’t matter if someone else had thought of it before—you write your own words, do your own research, and arrive at your conclusions all on your own. When people argue with you about your ideas, you don’t need to point them at another person who can “explain it better”, because you are the one who can explain it better.

And because you don’t rely on others to do the thinking for you, your ideas often end up being a bit different from everyone else.

So how does this make you mysterious?

It’s simple, really. First, you stand out from the crowd by being a different flavor from everyone else. You’re a can of Dr. Pepper in a sea of Coca Colas. Second, you leave people wondering just where you pull your ideas from.

13) You’re soft-spoken

Demeanor can give or take from your air of mystery as much as the things you say or do.

You might keep your secrets or be confident, but if you’re loud and brash, people aren’t really going to think you’re mysterious at all. All they’ll see is a loudmouth, and they won’t even begin to think that you’re mysterious at all.

On the other hand, people who are mellow, reserved, and soft-spoken lend themselves well to being thought of as mysterious. You can thank the media for portraying ‘mysterious’ people as being quiet and reserved and, in the process, setting expectations for what mysterious people are like.

But hey, if you think about it, perhaps the media came up with that stereotype for a reason!

14) People pay attention when you speak

Don’t think that being mysterious is the one sole reason why people would pay attention to you. You might just have a quiet voice, or maybe you’re an authority in whatever you’re talking about, or maybe you simply have charisma and presence.

But nonetheless, people dropping whatever they’re doing to listen to you is a pretty strong sign that people think you’re mysterious. People pay attention to whatever you say because they want to know more about you or your ideas. They want to figure you out.

Not that you’ll likely let them, of course, but they’ll keep listening anyway.

15) You somehow manage to keep surprising people

Whatever you do, you just somehow manage to surprise people. We’ve gone through a list of traits that can make you seem mysterious to other people, and if you think about it closely, all of those come together to make you a person who can keep belting out new and interesting things.

In short, you’re a very original person.

And in this world, originality is in such short supply that when people do come across it they’re always caught off-guard. Moreover, people will think of you as mysterious and try to fit you into their idea of what mysterious people are like.

And with your originality, you just can’t help but transcend that mold. You keep showing people things they don’t expect.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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