He was once a very important man in your life but then something happened and now you stopped talking to each other.
You want him back in your life—even as a friend—however, you don’t have the guts to make the first move.
Don’t worry. If he’s exhibiting most of the signs listed below, there’s a big chance he will reach out to you very soon.
Signs to look out for online
1) He’s been online a lot lately
You know that he rarely ever checks Messenger or any of his messaging apps. It’s kinda annoying and it makes him hard to reach, but that’s just who he is. Lately, however, you see his green dot whenever you go online.
Sure, something could have happened in his life that has made him check his messages often—it could be that his work keeps sending him messages— but there is also that small chance that he’s keeping an eye on you.
That is to say, he’s waiting for the time he has enough courage to message you. When he does see you online, his heart and his head battle on whether he should talk to you or not and, sadly, his heart loses every time.
2) He’s more active in your group chat
If he’s usually silent with your group chats, and for some reason he’s suddenly risen from the ashes, he must be missing you.
It could be that he’s trying to gauge if you’re still open to chatting with him or it could be that he just wants to find a way to interact with you in any way.
If he’s not the chatty type, he might send memes just to get you to react.
He knows it’s best to take things slow and this is one way for him to test if you’re actually still interested in him before he sends you a direct message.
3) He reacts to your posts
He has been MIA for a long time but lately he’s been liking your posts like he’s your number one fan. And the funny thing is that these posts are just so mundane that it doesn’t even require any reaction.
Maybe he’s just bored and his likes are just innocent but if he zeroes in on your posts, then he must be trying to get your attention.
He’s hoping you’d understand how he’s feeling and that you’ll be the first one to send him a message. Quite a cowardly move on his part, for sure. But guys are cowards when it comes to someone they truly like.
4) He views your stories
If he’s a timid guy but wants to send you the message that he’s still interested in you, there’s nothing safer than viewing your stories. It’s not as obvious as a comment or reaction to your post but it still gets the point across.
Aside from it being a signal of wanting to reconnect, of course he wants to view your stories because he’s curious what you’re up to. A guy in love is the most curious person in the world. He can’t NOT click your stories!
Plus, he figured he might find them handy when he indeed finds the courage to text you again.
5) He’s been stalking you
There’s no direct way to know if someone indeed visits your profile but if he’s been liking multiple posts including those from eons ago, then he’s definitely stalking you.
But he’s not merely stalking you, he’s trying to get your attention by making sure you know it. sending you a clear message that’s impossible to miss: that he’s still into you.
No one goes on a liking spree unless they want the other person to be 100% aware that they’re interested.
If you’ve received a notification of him liking three or five of your old photos, be prepared. He will definitely make himself even more noticeable in the next few days.
6) You’re both virtually in sync
He goes online almost at the same time as you. Or you share the same article. Coincidence? Who knows!
But what’s funny is that he goes offline when you go offline too.
It’s obviously not a coincidence, not when it keeps happening!
You just stare at his green dot, waiting for him to make the first move. Well, if you’re in sync, then there’s a possibility that he’s doing the same thing and hoping for you to send that first message.
7) He recently changed his relationship status
Maybe the reason that he stopped contacting you is probably because he’s already in a relationship and his girlfriend is the jealous type.
But now, they’ve broken up and he wants everyone to know this fact—especially you.
If he’s that brave to let the world know about it, don’t be surprised if he’ll reach out to you soon. Just as a friend, at first…but who knows it could lead to something more.
His making a declaration of his relationship status is an indicator that he’s actively trying to move on and is open to a new chapter in life.
Don’t roll your eyes when he contacts you. Although it looks sleazy on the surface, he’s probably not a player who contacts random girls after a breakup.
Maybe you’ve been in his mind all this time but he’s just being a loyal boyfriend when he’s still coupled up. Or maybe they’ve broken up months ago and he just changed his status so you won’t be turned off when he reaches out.
8) Your friends have been talking about him
He now seems to be the favorite topic of your common friends.
When they chat with you—even if you’re simply talking about something mundane like food or a TV show— they somehow can’t help but mention him.
Well, there’s a chance that he’s been talking about you and they subconsciously associate him to you. Or they probably know he’s still into you and that he’s asking for their help to reach out to you.
Or maybe your friends just think you’re a good match and they can’t help but talk about him when they’re talking to you.
These same friends could have convinced him to make the first move too so prepare for the possibility of him sending you a text anytime soon.
9) He’s flexing a lot lately
Maybe you used to love his music and encouraged him to join a band. Well he apparently did when you stopped talking to each other. Lately, you notice him sharing his music videos on social media.
Or maybe the reason you broke up is that he seemingly lacks ambition. Now, you see him posting about his latest passions and ventures.
He wants to send the message to you that he’s actually a much better guy now, and it’s all because of you.
If you like his flex posts, it’s almost certain that he will have the courage to message you again.
10) He shares something that only both of you know
So maybe you have a secret code or a cute pet name for each other when you’re still together.
Guess what? He posts about it.
Sometimes, some guys prefer to keep it a little vague, but others can be too direct and clear that it’s impossible for you to miss the message.
For example, if you used to call him “French Fries” and he used to call you “Ketchup”, he’d probably post a photo of fries with lots of ketchup.
99.9 % of his friends would go “whuuut”, but you understand exactly what the post means and why he did it. It’s something only both of you know and he wants to remind you of it.
React to those posts and he’ll surely reach out pretty soon.
Signs to look out in real life
11) His eyes linger on you a little longer
If you see each other often but have stopped talking to each other—say, you are classmates or colleagues or you live in the same neighborhood—you will notice that he’s interested again by his stare and other body language.
His stares will give you goosebumps but they’re not the sleazy kind. His stare gives you the feeling that you’re the most special girl in the world…like he’s agonizing because he can’t have you ever again.
He might not act sweet or he might even say annoying things in front of you. But his stare will give him away.
As Tony Montana said, “The eyes, Chico. They never lie.”
12) He finds a way to get closer to you
Guys are creative and persistent once they’ve set their mind onto something—especially when it comes to love.
He will lie and make excuses just to get closer to you in any way. Maybe he will pretend to need something from you just so he can text you again.
When you’re assigned in groups, he might secretly swap with someone just so you’ll be in the same group.
A person in love always finds a way. Watch out if he does these “desperate moves” in real life because he will surely text you right after.
13) He mirrors your gestures
You’re not talking in real life or messaging each other, but this guy matches your every gesture like you’re staring at yourself in the mirror.
He touches his arm when you touch yours or crosses his legs when you cross yours.
You might get a little annoyed because it’s like he’s doing it on purpose but he has no control over it. It’s his subconscious mind doing crazy things on him.
He’s also probably a highly sensitive person who can’t stop but mimic the person he likes.
Now it doesn’t automatically mean he’s in love with you. However, it’s a sign that he’s in tune with you and that he’s really into you.
The more frequent it gets, the closer he is to contacting you.
14) He laughs a little louder when you’re around
If he’s too shy or proud to message you first, he will try to connect with you in other ways like reacting to whatever you say—in a positive way, of course.
He can’t resist laughing at your jokes, most of all, especially if you share the same sense of humor.
And even if you’re just nearby and you’re not talking to anyone at all, he will make sure you notice him by laughing louder than usual. We know this thing too well because girls do it too.
15) He steals glances at you
If you catch him looking at you then looking away one too many times, then he’s probably been racking his brain on how to approach you.
Maybe he really wants to be near you but doesn’t know how without appearing awkward. He doesn’t want to look like a creep!
If he’s that shy and calculating, you can bet his first recourse when he can’t be near you is to send you a text. It will probably be an awkward text but if he can’t stop himself any longer, he will send it nevertheless. He would prefer it than not ever trying to reconnect.
16) He’ll push your buttons.
Maybe he’s been desperate to reconnect with you for such a long time already and he’s done with it.
You see, a guy who’s had enough of the silent treatment would try to provoke you because he thinks it’s a wise way for you to have an interaction—any interaction at all!
If you have a group project, he’d try to contradict your ideas. If you’re his boss, he’d try to voice out his opposing opinions while you’re in a meeting.
He will get really annoying and that’s exactly the reaction he wants from you.
If he’s acting that way, you can almost be sure he’d send you a message to settle the business…and then some.
17) He’s trying to impress you
If he knows that you appreciate generous people, he’ll find a way to demonstrate how generous he is. He’d offer a co-worker a ride and make sure you know about it.
If he knows you like him for his intelligence, he will show everyone in your team how much of an Einstein he really is.
Pay extra attention to where his eyes go when he does these things. If he finds a way to look in your direction, he’s clearly trying to impress you.
He probably needs this to get the confidence to approach you. If he’s intimidated by you, he would want to know that you are still fond of him in any way before he’d even reach out.
18) He cuts you off completely
You might think that a guy who still wants to reconnect with us would try to get a little closer but some sneaky guys use reverse psychology so you’ll make the first move.
If he’s always been neutral and chill when you’re around each other, he might be deliberate in showing his contempt for you.
He might leave when you enter a room, he might not laugh at your jokes at all, he might even ask your classmates or boss to assign you to different projects.
He’s trying to send you a clear message that he’s hurt and that he doesn’t want things to remain the same again. It’s his way of saying “I’ve had enough of this.”
If he was truly in love with you, you can expect him to send a message very soon as his one final talk before he moves on for good.
Things you can do to encourage him to text you
1) FIrst, don’t make him feel unwelcome
If the two of you parted ways on a sour note—maybe you had a big disagreement, or maybe he did something that made you mad—it might be tempting to give him the cold shoulder, or to avoid looking him in the eye.
Don’t. The slightest act of negativity will send him back to his shell.
You want him to warm him up and encourage him, not alienate him. So instead of trying to make things difficult for him, encourage him instead by showing him a friendly smile when he’s near.
And when he tries to talk to you, or when he tries talking to you.
2) Trigger his Hero Instinct
One of the fastest ways to make a man rush to you is when you make him feel needed.
Trigger his hero instinct by showing your vulnerability. If you’re really having a hard time with your presentation on a topic he’s an expert at, then let him know about it by telling your group or posting about it on your socials.
If he truly cares about you, he’d want to help you.
You’ll awaken his inner desire to be your saviour that he’d muster up the courage to talk to you.
3) Do what he’s doing
If he looks at you, then return the gaze and maybe smile a little. If he likes a post of yours, try liking and sharing his own.
By reciprocating any moves he makes on you, no matter how subtle, you inform him of your interest. If he had been unsure about what you thought or felt for him, doing this will make him feel more self-assured.
And maybe, just maybe, it will convince him to try to reach out to you.
4) Take it easy
You want to communicate the fact that you want him to talk to you again, but at the same time you don’t want to make him think you’re needy and desperate. You want him to think you’re just “chill” and that if he approaches you, it’s not a big deal.
Don’t let him catch you burning holes into his back for hours on end or stalking him relentlessly online. You’re only going to scare him off.
Smile at him when you catch him looking your way. Greet him when the two of you bump into each other at the station.
Maybe the reason why he doesn’t want to approach you is that he doesn’t want you to expect anything more. Create the impression that you’re totally done overthinking your relationship and that you’re just cool with being purely friends.
5) Give off happy vibes
Humans are ultimately driven by emotions, and emotions are irrational. If he keeps on getting in a bad mood when you’re near, then he’ll begin to subconsciously associate you with those feelings even if you weren’t responsible!
You can’t always control what happens. But if you keep on doing your best to make sure he’s as happy as can be in your presence, then he’ll begin to associate you with those positive feelings.
When you give away a cheerful vibe, that might just inspire him to reach out and send you a message.
It can be frustrating to keep on waiting for the person we like to text us again but if he’s doing many of the things mentioned above, your wait is almost over. It won’t even take a month before he’d finally reach out to you.
However, if he still won’t make the first move, stop torturing yourself!
It’s time you take charge and send him the first text. Don’t do it for him or for both of you, but just for yourself. It’s nice to feel like you’re the one who’s being wanted but nothing feels more liberating than taking charge.
Besides, the worst thing that can happen is that he’ll reject you. But he’s already doing that, right? Might as well give it another try.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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