7 signs that you’re in a relationship with a highly mature person

Maturity is SO important to healthy relationships.

Just date someone immature and you’ll realize super quickly just how important it is.

I unfortunately had that experience… and now I’m incredibly lucky to be with a very mature partner.

And I don’t believe in comparing people, but well, I can definitely see a massive difference in the relationship and how happy and healthy it is.

So you probably want to know how you can tell if you’re in a relationship with a highly mature person.

Well, from my experience, it boils down to these 7 signs. 

1) They hear you out, even if it’s something they don’t like to hear

One of the most telling signs of a mature partner is their ability to listen, truly listen, even when you’re saying something they might not want to hear. 

Because maturity means understanding that life is not all rainbows and unicorns. It’s not just about sharing your candy with each other and having a good time.

It’s also about dealing with challenges together, overcoming disappointment, and having some difficult conversations.

And running away from these conversations doesn’t help. It would just be sticking their head in the sand.

This is one of the first things that gave me confidence in my current relationship. I came from a relationship where we could never seem to fix our problems, and I developed an anxiety around sharing concerns. 

But the first time I shared something I was unhappy with my current partner, he stunned me by focusing his full attention on me, listening actively, and taking his time to understand my feelings.

It’s a clear sign of his maturity, and something I deeply appreciate about him. 

2) They give genuine apologies

This next sign is super closely related to the first one.

Because when problems come up, hearing someone out can go a long way, but it’s only half the battle. 

The real crux of the matter is, can you overcome this issue together?

A highly mature person will make sure to take ownership for their own mistakes. It may not feel comfortable, but they understand that everyone is human, and mistakes are inevitable.

Rather than waste energy trying to defend themselves, they are mature enough to focus on what really matters: taking care of your feelings and needs, and keeping the relationship healthy.

Sadly, I know what it feels like when this is not the case — my ex was not only very poor at engaging in difficult conversations, he also refused to admit any fault of his own. 

We had so many fights where I was trying to defend myself so he wouldn’t make everything out to be my fault, and they usually ended when I gave up in exhaustion. 

This is one of the top reasons why you should look for a partner who is highly mature — and hopefully yours is.

3) They are reliable and keep their promises

“Honey, I’ll definitely be home in time to leave for the dinner party at 6. You don’t need to worry.”

This is something a highly mature person will only say if they are sure they can follow through.

Obviously, unexpected things can happen, even to mature people. If that’s the case, they will let you know immediately and have a reasonable explanation for why.

But that’s the exception, and not the rule. Maturity means understanding the importance of commitments and the role they play in trust.

So if your partner says they’ll do something, you can rest assured they’ll do it.

And this is something my partner and I work really hard to maintain in our relationship. If he needs me to pick up milk on my way home, I’ll make a note so I don’t forget.

If I ask him to print out an important document for me, I know it will be on the table when I get home.

It takes effort to build it, but the outcome is extremely worth it — feeling secure and valued in your relationship. 

4) They are flexible in changing plans if you want something different

Think about how you and your partner make plans, and specifically, how you change them.

There might be times when you agree on something, but then something gets in the way. Maybe you planned to grab pizza for dinner, but it turns out your boss got a surprise pizza for the office, and you don’t want to eat it twice.

Or maybe you’re running late from work, so you won’t make it in time for the movie you had planned to go see.

In this case, if you’re in a relationship with a highly mature person, they’ll be willing to adjust.

They understand that a relationship involves compromise and respecting each other’s wants and needs.

It might seem like a small thing, but it really isn’t. Because this is about valuing your happiness as much as their own. It means they’re not self-centered and only see things their way, but considerate and adaptable.  

5) They don’t get upset if you make plans on your own

When you love someone, of course you love to spend time with them as well.

But we are still individual people, and need our own space from time to time. Maybe you and your partner even have very different hobbies that you cannot do together, or different groups of friends. 

Or maybe you’re just someone who really values time alone, or one-on-one time with other people you love.

A highly-mature partner will be happy to let you do all of this. Not that you need their permission — but well, I’ve been in a relationship where the person was very distrustful and jealous when I wanted to hang out with someone else.

He took it as a sign that I didn’t love him, as his idea of a relationship was sharing absolutely all our time together. 

Well, maybe his next partner was someone who agreed with him on this a little more.

But if you ask me, he wasn’t very mature in this way of thinking. Because you always need to give your partner space to be who they want to be, and real maturity means you let them do this even if it’s without you sometimes.

My current partner does just that, and I can honestly say it makes me that much more excited to spend time with him again.

6) They forgive your mistakes

Another hallmark of a highly mature person is forgiveness. This is like a miracle medicine for relationships, and in my opinion one of the most important keys to lasting happiness.

(Within reason of course — there are things you can forgive, but could still mean it’s better to end the relationship.)

I can say that I make a ton of mistakes — more than I’d like to admit.

And obviously, my partner has seen many of them. Some of my mistakes have even affected him directly.

But he never once held any of them against me. If we needed to talk about something, we did, and then he put the matter aside and moved on without ever holding a grudge.

This depends a great deal on me too, of course. It’s not like he lets everything slide. But he accepts my apology and as long as I do my best to improve, he understands the slip ups along my journey of growth. 

7) They regularly express appreciation

Finally, a highly mature person is someone who will express gratitude and appreciation consistently.

I talk a lot about personal development on this blog — as you can tell, it’s one of my biggest passions.

But you know what? Life isn’t just about looking for more things to fix. You have to stop and smell the flowers, enjoy yourself, and have fun in your relationship too!

Appreciation is like the currency of a happy relationship, and mature people are well aware of that.

They will make sure to recognize your efforts and value them. And they’ll be happy to look for the positives and make sure you know they see them too.

I remember a point in my life not long ago when I felt overwhelmed by life’s challenges, and I began to doubt my self-worth. My partner noticed my struggle, and took time to remind me of my strengths and achievements.

I can’t describe how much it helped me — and since then, we’ve both made it a regular practice to nourish our relationship with gratitude. 

How important is maturity in relationships?

Now you know 7 signs that you’re in a relationship with a highly mature person.

I sincerely hope that you recognized as many of these as possible in your partner.

Because as you can probably tell just by reading the signs, maturity so important if you want your relationship to be happy and healthy. 

It’s what helps you both listen to each other, forgive each other, keep your commitments to each other, and respect each other’s space… among many other amazing benefits.

And you know what the best part is? Maturity is something you can always gain more of!

So while you’re on your personal development journey, you can always choose to work on building your own sense of maturity, or perhaps even do it together with your partner.

You’ll be sure to see your relationship grow that much stronger for it. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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