Many of us have had so many frustrating and painful experiences in dating that it comes as a shock when a relationship is actually going well!
The person you’re dating seems to have their head on their shoulders and value both you and themselves.
Here’s how to know if these promising signs of maturity and connection are for real…
1) They communicate clearly
That’s what makes it especially unfortunate that it’s so often lacking.
Even long-time couples often have such big gaps in communication that eventually fester into massive fights or breakups.
The mature and emotionally intelligent individual is a communicator.
He or she understands the absolute necessity of talking things through if and when they come up.
They won’t hide from uncomfortable silences or try to ignore difficult subjects.
They’ll face everything together with you and be honest about whatever is going on.
2) They make time for you
Without making time for a partner there’s not much room to really grow closer.
We all lead busy lives, but it’s crucial to make time for a loved one.
The mature and available person will do this, even if it means going that extra mile to make time in their schedule.
They understand that having time for you isn’t an obligation but it is often a choice.
So they make that choice and they make it to include you whenever possible!
3) They open up about their past
Every one of us likely has some stuff in our past we’d rather not highlight.
But when you’re getting serious with someone it’s important to come clean.
The mature and emotionally available man or woman understands this because they grasp a simple truth:
Anything you try to hide or downplay is eventually going to come up, and somebody who truly loves you is going to do every possible thing to see past mistakes and problems from your point of view.
It’s like gamblers say: scared money never wins.
Love works much the same way.
4) They do nice things for you
There’s a lot to be said for simply doing something nice for somebody you care about.
An emotionally mature man or woman is going to do little favors for you and care for you in special ways.
The special thing here is that they aren’t doing this out of obligation or duty:
They’re doing it out of their own free choice and desire to be close to you and care for you.
If it doesn’t give you a little buzz every time they do then you’re dating the wrong person.
5) They introduce you to friends
The partner who’s worth your time is somebody who wants you to be part of their lives.
This also means introducing you to their friends and family and including you in their own social circles.
No matter if this is merely ceremony or surface level, it’s a crucial show of faith and goodwill.
It shows that you’re a person they are proud to be with and happy to introduce to those close to them.
As opposed to that man or woman who shies away from being seen with you and even bumbles around about your status, this partner is one who’s proud to be exclusive and together with you around everyone they care about.
6) They open up about their family
We all have different relationships with our immediate and extended family, some situations more difficult than others.
The partner who’s actually worth committing to is going to open up about their family.
They will let you in on where they stand and how their family affected their upbringing and influences in life.
They do this because they love you, and because our relationship with our family forms a core part of who we and how we love.
7) They respond reasonably to disagreement
In many relationships and dating scenarios, all it takes is a small fight to send the whole thing up in flames.
When you’re dating someone who is actually mature and self-aware, however, it’s much different.
They don’t hide from fights, but they also don’t lash out and lose control over them.
They understand the balance between response and over-response.
They respond calmly and reasonably. If they’re hurt or disagree they let you know.
They don’t pound the table in a restaurant after they feel confused by you or sulk and give you the silent treatment for a week after you disagree on the future of the relationship.
They’re willing to talk things through and take the relationship as it comes without becoming ultra-dramatic.
8) They don’t get easily jealous
Jealousy is sometimes warranted, to be quote frank.
But jealousy at the slightest imagined impropriety or paranoid imagination is a classic sign of insecurity.
Somebody who values themselves and has a secure sense of self-worth won’t get easily jealous.
He or she will respect that you have your own life and let you enjoy that without trying to read malign intentions or actions into every hour you spend away from them.
This can be a welcome change, particularly if you’ve dealt with a lot of jealousy and ungrounded suspicion in past relationships.
9) They’re not clingy or detached
People who don’t love themselves are often very over clingy or detached.
They swing from one extreme to the next as a result of being overly attached to validation or overly scared of love and being found “insufficient.”
The man or woman who loves themselves and values you for real will be affectionate without being dependent.
He or she will also give you your space without being avoidant.
This balance is crucial to emphasize, because you will sense it very clearly when you experience it.
An intuitive grasp of each other’s needs for space and companionship, and communication when either of you move too much in either direction or cramp each other’s style.
10) They don’t give you the silent treatment
The silent treatment is something that often happens among partners who aren’t very emotionally mature.
The man or woman you’re dating gets upset and stops talking to you for a while.
It’s tiresome and hurtful, and it can quickly become a cycle that you can’t wait to get out of.
Dating somebody who’s mature and self-aware is completely different:
If they have a problem with you or in general, they let you know.
They don’t suddenly just leave your messages on read for a week and give you some passive-aggressive treatment until you can guess what you did wrong.
11) They are willing to discuss the future
No matter how serious or casual your dating life may be at this time, anybody who’s actually worth your time at all is not going to jump and run if the future comes up.
Even as a general subject, the future is important.
First of all it’s interesting.
Second of all, even if you’re completely casual there’s nothing strange about being interested in what this person’s plans and ideas are for their future.
Even if it has nothing at all to do with wanting commitment and is just pure curiosity!
12) They only make promises they can keep
Promises are easy to make but much harder to keep.
We don’t always have control over keeping them, of course.
If you promise to take your girlfriend on vacation next year but lose all your money in the stock market next month then it’s likely not going to happen! (Beyond a trip to the 7/11 cheese dog stand).
But as much as possible, emotionally mature people try to only make promises they actually plan to keep.
It’s a nice change from all the hot air that gets blown around in most relationships.
13) They stick with you through the hard times
Mature and emotionally available folks are not only in it for the good times.
They have some real grit to them.
They stay together during the hard times if they love you.
Rather than those who cut and run when times get hard and then later beg for you back:
This person never budges and there’s no sign he or she is only with you conditionally.
If somebody’s only with you for the good times are they even really ever with you at all?
14) They celebrate your wins
A mature and caring partner smiles when you smile.
He or she genuinely feels pumped up and happy when things are working out for you.
It’s not just an act:
It’s an authentic reaction to seeing somebody they care about score successes in life.
This is what love looks like.
When love walks in…
When you’re dating an emotionally available and mature individual it’s a definite breath of fresh air.
Just remember not to let expectations overtake the present moment and to take the relationship one step at a time.