Confidence is having faith in one’s abilities. Arrogance, on the other hand, is having an inflated self-image.
Of course, you want to be someone who’s confident but not arrogant. No one wants to be around people who think they’re better than everyone else.
Want to know how to become one?
Then follow the footsteps of those who do it well.
Here are 10 signs that someone is deeply confident in themselves (but not arrogant).
1) They share their accomplishments but only when asked
And even then, they won’t spend too much time elaborating on how awesome they really are. They’d quickly change the topic.
They’d get to the point fast so they can ask YOU to share about yourself and what you’ve been up to lately.
They know that while their accomplishments are nice and it’s normal for people to get curious, they’re not the only person in the room.
Arrogant people, on the other hand, wear their accomplishments like a crown.
They’d take every opportunity to share them not just because they have a tendency to brag, but because they want others to look up to them.
2) They are up to any challenge but know that they need help from others
When given a chance to do something really challenging, they won’t back off and say “I’m not yet ready” or “I don’t think I’m good enough”.
Instead, they’d say “Bring it on!” but unlike an arrogant person, they remind others that although they’re confident in their abilities, they would need some help.
They’d need guidance and team-mates that can help them every step of the way.
An arrogant person, on the other hand, won’t acknowledge that they need help at all. They are convinced that they can do everything on their own. After all, they think they’re the greatest.
3) They do their job well for their own satisfaction and not to get praise
They find intrinsic joy in doing a job well.
They get giddy when they’re able to solve an issue or come up with a better plan. They feel like they’re in Cloud #9 when something actually works as they imagined.
They’re doing it mainly for themselves and for their team, and not so people will notice them and see how brilliant they are.
Arrogant people, on the other hand, do things mainly for praise. Or, sure, they do it for passion, but it won’t feel complete without the applause of others.
4) They are proud of how far they’ve come but don’t forget where they started from
Confident people don’t downplay their accomplishments. They worked hard for it, after all.
So they’ll say a confident but warm “Thank you” when someone praises their efforts, but they’ll also share how they all started from nothing…and that until now, they’re still learning.
An arrogant person, on the other hand, would think they’re GIFTED with talents and skills since they’re born.
When someone compliments them, they’d think “Well, of course”, and then they’ll share how they’re just naturally good at what they do (and that not everyone can do it).
5) They acknowledge their abilities but know that luck plays a huge part in any kind of success
They give credit to themselves for working hard, for being persistent, for learning skills…but they will always acknowledge that luck also plays a big part in their success.
For example, they share how they work like crazy to build a business, but they will also share about how lucky they are because they’re at the right place at the right time.
Or because they have parents who lent them money.
Or because they know the right people.
Arrogant people, on the other hand, would give ALL the credit to themselves. And because of this, they make others feel that they’re not successful simply because they don’t work hard enough.
6) They’re happy they’re doing great, but they know they’re not the only one
Eventually, everyone will become successful at what they do. And, in fact, everyone is successful at something at any given time.
That’s how confident people think.
Even those who are still not successful in their careers are successful in other areas in life—maybe they’re good parents, maybe they’re good at gardening or maintaining healthy habits.
So, sure, they’ll feel proud of their accomplishments, but they’re very much aware that they’re not the only one doing awesome things.
7) They share their knowledge but don’t try to sound like they’re an expert
Arrogant people feel like they’re the best and the greatest.
They’ll share tips on how to be successful like they’re some kind of guru. They’ll talk about their “success story” as if it’s something totally inspiring and helpful to others who are still at the bottom.
Confident people are not like this at all. Sure, they acknowledge the fact that they’re indeed good at what they do, but they know that no two people can have the same path.
If they’re good at painting, they will share their knowledge but make a disclaimer that their way isn’t the only way. They can only share how they do it but it’s ultimately up to the person to do what they want.
Unlike arrogant people, they refrain from using prescriptive words such as “should” or “Trust me on this one…”
They know that while they have gleaned some wisdom from their experiences, they don’t have to prescribe it to others like it’s the right way to do things because everyone’s life and path to success is different.
8) They freely express their opinions but know that others might be wiser than them
Even if everyone says they’re the smartest in their field, they would not let it get to their head.
They discuss with people with curiosity and an open mind—always. And it’s not that they’re faking it to appear humble, they are well-aware that they’re not really the smartest.
Bukowski said: “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts and the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
So yes, it’s only normal that because they know more, they are also aware that they have limitations.
Most of the time, it’s the arrogant people who are full of confidence in themselves.
9) They’re passionate at what they do but they don’t expect others to feel the same way
So let’s say they write or make music…and they’re really good at it. They’d be proud of their work, but they don’t expect others to give it much value just because it’s important to them.
They know that each one of us have special talents and passions…and their passions are no superior to those of others.
They know their calling, their purpose, and their greatest achievements could mean absolutely nothing to others—and they see no problem with it.
Arrogant people, on the other hand, have the need to always be validated. They think they’re doing something grand and the least people could do is appreciate them.
And so sometimes, when others don’t give them the kind of praise and attention they want, they sulk and take it personally.
10) They know that they can make it, and so can everyone else
They’re confident in themselves, but they’re also confident in the abilities of others.
They know that it’s not a race because eventually, we’re all going to make it—some just sooner, while others later.
They’re not shy to share about their achievements because they know everyone will achieve in their own ways, too.
This is one of the main reasons why they’re not arrogant!
They don’t see themselves as above those who still haven’t achieved any kind of “success”…they just got it earlier. And who knows, maybe tomorrow they’ll lose everything anyway.
An arrogant person, on the other hand, has a vibe that says “I’ve made it because I’m good. You’re still in the same miserable place because you aren’t.”
You can be confident in yourself and still be humble.
While it might get more and more challenging to do as you rise to the top, just remember two things:
One—everyone is awesome in their own ways.
Two—although you’re great, you’re not really THAT great.
So be your own cheerleader and be proud of yourself (it’s important to be confident!), but don’t act like you’re the most special person because of your accomplishments.