There is that eternal struggle to decipher if someone wants to sleep with you or if they’re simply being nice.
Different actions and gestures can be read in a plethora of different ways; we’re not mind-readers, after all.
Looking back and realizing how blind you were to their intentions can be an experience wrought with regret.
Unfortunately, we don’t live in a world where everyone is upfront about their feelings, which complicates things.
No matter. There are still subtle hints to watch out for.
To help you avoid missing your shot, here are 12 signs that someone might be looking to get under the sheets with you.
1) Conversations are a little awkward…
The reason why conversations can be awkward is that you or the other person are holding something back.
Words and actions are being carefully chosen so as to not look bad in front of the other.
This overthinking is what causes unnatural pauses and gaps in conversations.
It can also be because they want to be as attractive to you as possible.
They don’t want to mess up their shot with you, so they try to take too much time trying to come up with something clever or witty to say.
When they try to make an effort to be funny with you, it’s a sign that they want you to like them.
2) You have lingering eye contact
The eyes can convey messages that mere words can’t.
Enveloped within a glare is a message that could say that they despise you; within a gaze, it could mean something far different.
A study provides evidence to this claim, describing how eye contact can amplify feelings and emotions between two people.
When someone holds you in their gaze, there is usually something more active happening behind their eyes.
If you’re in a bar, constantly meeting the gaze of someone at the table across, that means that they’ve taken an interest in you, and maybe it might become something more as the night progresses.
3) …but they can be flirty too
People only flirt with people that they’re interested in. Some people do it for fun, but others do it with more intention behind their light teases and flattering compliments.
If you’ve established some kind of flirty back-and-forth dynamic, that’s an obvious sign that they’re interested in you in more than a platonic way.
It’s also what could give the feeling that there’s always something left unsaid in your conversations.
It almost feels like there’s a thick tension in the air — a sexual tension — that the both of you skirt around with each flirty talk.
4) They always seem to be by your side
If you’re at a large gathering, they’ll always try to find a way to get a seat near — or even beside — you.
When you’re out in public, they might show up out of nowhere because they just so happened to be near the area as well.
When someone shows interest in you, they tend to gravitate towards you. They try to find a way to position themselves in a place where you’ll notice them.
They want to get the chance to spend more time and interact with you.
If you’re noticing that the same person keeps appearing and coming up to you, ready for another chat, that’s their not-so-subtle way of telling you that they’re attracted to you.
5) They let you know with their body language
Body language plays a significant role in building relationships.
If you’re talking to someone and they’re bouncing their leg or tapping their foot continuously, that might mean that a part of their attention is distributed somewhere besides your conversation.
But if you’re talking to someone and they lean in (sometimes a little too close) to listen, even if they turn their entire body towards you when you’re speaking, that’s a subconscious signal that says that they’re attracted to you.
6) They’re a little touchy with you
Someone’s touch can send a potent message. The way they casually touch you can be part of their flirting technique.
When they’re laughing at your joke and they grab your arm or give you a light push on the shoulder, that’s usually an indicator that they’re thinking about you in a deeper way.
They might hug you a little tighter for longer, or keep touching shoulders when you’re sitting beside each other.
These gestures could carry with it a subtle message, one that’s telling you to notice them, because they want you.
If you notice that they’re touching you more than they touch other people, that could be a sign that you’re more special to them than you might think.
7) Other people can sense it
If you’re with this person often, your friends might start noticing. While you may be busy going about your daily life, it can be easy to overlook that person’s interactions with you.
You might not be catching the subliminal messages they’re sending, and your friends will often be the first ones to point that out.
Your friends might say something to the effect of, “You two look good together!” If it’s never crossed your mind, it might now.
If you aren’t sure about how to read another person’s actions and gestures towards you, it’s best to turn to an outside perspective on the matter.
8) Your conversations are filled with laughter
Laughter is one of the ways that people form closer relationships with each other.
When people laugh together, there’s a sense of shared enjoyment, as a study has found.
Its positive effects on a relationship can cultivate the other person’s attraction towards you.
It’s common for people to gravitate towards people that are funny.
A sense of humor is often found to be one of the personality traits people look for in a potential partner.
They want to be able to enjoy not only themselves but life in general.
If you find that you both laugh at the same things, that could be an indicator that something more could happen between the two of you.
9) Their voice is different when they’re talking to you
People talk in different ways, depending on who they’re with. They may have a work tone that’s serious and confident.
They may also have a more laid-back tone of voice when they’re talking to their friends and a little of both for their parents.
Having a different tone of voice indicates a different side of someone’s personality.
When you notice that they’re usually quite serious with others but laid back with you, that could mean that they view you as someone that they don’t mind being themselves with.
Their voice may even be more sultry, which carries with it a more romantic or sexual subtext.
10) They make themselves look good around you
When someone wants to impress another person, that means that they care about what the other person thinks.
They don’t want to appear like a lesser version of themselves.
They want to make a lasting first impression, so they wear their best tops, fix their hair, and get themselves cleaned up nicely.
People often have different ways to use their looks.
If you notice that someone is wearing more makeup or collared shirts around you than they usually do, then it could mean that they deliberately dressed up for you.
They want to present themselves in a way that makes them as memorable and attractive as possible.
11) They always notice you
When we know someone, we tend to notice them even if they’re standing in a crowd of hundreds.
Our minds become tuned to spotting that one person, locking in on them like a fighter pilot would in the sky.
Liking someone amplifies this ability.
Even in the corner of your eye, you could spot who you’re attracted to; you can notice what they’re doing without standing right in front of them.
If you notice that someone is giving you this much attention, that could mean that they’re thinking about you in a way that’s more than just a stranger that they encounter.
12) There’s a noticeable atmosphere change when you’re together
Sexual tension is often difficult to read exactly because it’s unwritten.
No one really says anything direct about it, lest they ruin the vibe. You just feel it.
When you’re with other people, it might feel like a usual, standard platonic relationship.
But when you’re with that person, then it might be an entirely different story.
There’s something there about you and them that you can’t put your finger on, but the atmosphere feels tangibly different.
Since no one says it, it becomes like a fun guessing game: a chase that people enjoy having late at night at clubs after a couple of drinks.
Indeed, the chasing stage of any relationship can be exciting and even intoxicating.
To properly enjoy the chase, you’ve got to be aware of these signs that say that the other person is willing to play along too. It might just end up with both of you in bed together.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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