Adrian Volenik
Did you notice how some people can’t hold a conversation anymore? They easily get distracted and lose interest in what you’re sharing with them.
It might be you or the things you’re talking about. It could also be them and the issues they’re having at the moment that you know nothing about.
Whatever the reason, there are some clear signs someone is losing interest in a conversation. Let’s see what they are!
1) Interrupting or changing topics
Constantly interrupting or abruptly changing topics is a clear sign that the person isn’t genuinely interested in what you’re talking about.
This might be an effort on their side to steer the conversation toward something they find more engaging or relevant.
If that’s the case, then you are the problem, and whatever you’re sharing with them obviously isn’t that engaging.
For example, you’re talking about your work, but that isn’t as remotely enjoyable as you might think.
After all, most people don’t like thinking about work outside working hours. Even if it isn’t their work, they’re talking about.
2) Checking their phone
When someone frequently checks their phone, you guessed it. They’re losing interest in the conversation.
You’re talking to them, and they’re scrolling through social media, responding to messages, or even checking emails.
It’s fairly obvious their attention is divided between the screen and the conversation, making it challenging to stay focused.
On the other side, I’m seeing this happening more and more as proof that everyone is addicted to their phones and can’t stop using them, even when talking to people in real life.
It even has a name – phubbing.
It’s a sad reality, isn’t it?
3) Short and abrupt answers
When the person you’re talking to is responding to your questions with brief, concise answers like “Yeah” or “No,” it’s another obvious sign of losing interest.
Their responses simply don’t contribute much to the conversation. Their behavior shows a lack of readiness to invest time and effort in elaborating further on their thoughts or feelings.
It’s also incredibly frustrating for you, as there’s virtually no exchange of thoughts and ideas. You might as well be talking to a wall.
In the end, the burden of keeping the dialogue alive is on you. The same goes for the following:
4) Vague statements
Responding with vague phrases like “I don’t know” or “I guess so” without elaborating also stunts the flow of the conversation.
Here are some more examples:
- “I’m not sure about that.”
- “It’s kind of okay, I guess.”
- “I might do something this weekend or not.”
- “I vaguely remember that happening, but I can’t recall the details.”
Again, you need to put in extra effort to keep the discussion moving forward when someone isn’t interested in having a conversation right now or they’re losing interest in it.
5) Lack of eye contact
We all know how important eye contact is, right? That’s why it sticks out when someone is avoiding it. It suggests their discomfort or disinterest.
They might also be preoccupied with their own thoughts or surroundings instead of actively talking to you.
Without eye contact, the interaction feels less personal and connected. It’s also incredibly uncomfortable.
6) Minimal body language
Just like eye contact, body language is also an essential part of having a conversation with someone. It can tell us whether they’re comfortable, happy, sad, or distracted, among other things.
Closed-off body language, such as crossed arms or a turned-away posture, communicates defensiveness or disengagement.
They obviously lost interest in the conversation and are simply waiting for the meeting to come to an end. Ouch!
We can say the same about this, too:
7) Long pauses
Lengthy pauses can be awkward and also suggest that the person is struggling to keep the conversation going.
Is it because they’re not interested in the topic, or they don’t have much to say about it? That’s for you to find out.
Why not steer the conversation yourself in a different direction? Ask them questions that will make them open up.
If they still don’t respond appropriately, just flat out ask them what’s the problem? Are they okay?
Do they have a chip on their shoulder, or do they have issues that are making them worried or uncomfortable?
8) Repetition
Some people, when they start losing interest in a conversation, start sounding like a broken record. They keep repeating the same things you heard in this conversation or in previous ones.
Repeating themselves or not introducing new ideas into the dialogue also makes it feel stagnant and uninteresting.
It can also happen when you’ve been spending a lot of time together in the past weeks, months, or even years.
You know each other too well and have maybe run out of topics to discuss. I mean, it’s nothing strange. You just need to put in a little bit more effort again.
Try asking some of these interesting questions to get the dialogue back on track.
9) Monotonous tone
Another easy clue that someone is losing interest is their monotonous tone. Now, some people simply talk like that because it’s their natural tone of voice.
But if you know that the friend, colleague, or someone else doesn’t usually talk monotonously, they might be losing interest in what you’re saying. Or anyone else, for that matter.
Not only that, but speaking in a monotonous or disinterested tone of voice makes the whole conversation feel dull and uninspiring.
It lacks the energy and enthusiasm needed to sustain an engaging discussion.
10) Excuses to exit
And lastly, when someone continually makes excuses to leave the conversation, they’re obviously not that interested in continuing it.
Now that I think of it, I’m definitely doing this on a regular basis. I just want to get out of a dull convo at any cost.
And you know how they say, A good excuse is worth its weight in gold.
Final thoughts
So what should you do if you want to continue a conversation, meeting, or presentation and the person or audience is/are losing interest?
Encourage them to share more with open-ended questions that require more than a simple “yes” or “no” answer. This easily leads to a better and more in-depth talk.
Show curiosity about what they’re saying. Ask follow-up questions and express interest in their perspective.
It’s always a good bet to use humor to lighten the mood. I always try to remember a couple of dozen short jokes or sayings to throw in when the mood seems to falter.
Timing can also play a role. If someone seems disinterested at a particular moment, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re always uninterested. Try initiating a conversation at a different time when they might be more receptive.
They also might have many worries on their mind at the moment and aren’t in the mood to talk or listen right now.
