Not sure as to why a particular person blatantly ignores you, showers you with false flattery, or always talks over you while you’re sharing a milestone?
Chances are that person is jealous of you.
Jealousy can be easy to spot. Most of the time, it’s all about when a certain person gives off a bad, negative vibe. But sometimes, it can be challenging to spot, especially when someone is good at hiding their jealousy behind a friendly façade.
It is said that people who experience bouts of jealousy are those who have underlying personal issues such as insecurities, low self-esteem, and anger. And if it gets out of hand, it can become a toxic behavior.
If you want to prevent it from affecting your life, understanding if people are jealous of you helps a lot.
In this article, we listed several signs someone is secretly jealous of you, as well as tips on how to deal with them.
1) They shower you with insincere compliments and fake praises
Do you know the common denominator of jealous people?
They will never tell you that they’re jealous. When good things happen to you, they act overly supportive and shower you with insincere compliments.
But once they are in the clear, they talk nasty things about you about how undeserving you are.
Pay attention to people who pause before congratulating you or clap the loudest when something great happens to you, as well as those who shower you with praises only if people are around.
2) They copy you
While psychology believes that copycat behavior is a manifestation of one’s admiration and a sign of flattery, it’s not always the case with jealous people.
People who are jealous of you try to mimic your behavior and style, such as the way you doll yourself, your walking style, mannerisms, and even the way you talk.
At first, you might find it flattering. But the more you notice it, the more it gets irritating.
A jealous person didn’t go out to buy a mobile phone that is identical to yours to flatter you; they are trying to keep up.
3) They overemphasize their achievements
When having a conversation, jealous people like to make themselves feel superior by overemphasizing their achievements. This usually happens after you share great news.
More often than not, when jealous people achieve something big or small, they will tell the whole world about it.
Take note of people who flaunt their milestones excessively—they are usually the ones who are terribly insecure. And they’ll do everything it takes to make you feel you’re not on par with them.
4) They misguide you through bad tips and recommendations
By now, you should know that a jealous person’s ultimate goal is to see you fail.
And if you ask someone who is jealous of you for genuine advice, that person will sabotage you through deliberate bad tips.
Remember that jealous people do not want to see you do better in life. For instance, if you share a plan with them, they will be the first ones to bring up unnecessary inquiries just to burst your bubble.
5) They bombard you with uncomfortable questions
When meeting someone new, it’s natural for them to ask questions about you. And so does a jealous person.
In fact, this person will bombard you with questions but with a rather dirty intention. They might pry on your past experiences, successes, and goals to scrutinize every bit of information you say.
They will constantly bring up follow-up questions, which will eventually make you uncomfortable as the conversation lasts.
6) They take satisfaction in your mistakes and failures
Ever heard “I told you so” from a specific person after an occurrence of loss or failure?
Chances are it came from a jealous person, whose satisfaction is your setback.
It can be hard not to ignore this phrase, by trying as much not to affect you. Don’t give that person the satisfaction of gloating over your shortcomings.
7) They’re good at making excuses
Keep an eye on that friend or colleague that’s pulling away at any given chance. If they’re jealous, they are sickened by your success.
Jealous people are those who usually come up with random excuses not to see you but take time to be with your other friends.
8) They are utterly competitive
As previously mentioned, jealous people always make sure they are a few steps ahead of you. They want to steal your thunder in every way possible, believing that you don’t deserve it.
Driven by jealousy, they see you as their main competitor at the workplace, at home, and even in your social organization.
For instance, they may never have worn high heels before, but when they find out you are wearing it more often at work, they will purchase a few pairs of high heels to outdo you.
9) They are overly critical of you
It doesn’t matter what you do and how well you pull it off because in the eyes of a jealous person, you are always lacking in a few aspects, if not all.
Your boss and workmates may appreciate and thank you for your efforts, but a jealous officemate will point out flaws, blatantly ignoring all the great efforts you put in at work.
Jealous people are those who sabotage your proud moments. Ignore what they say before their nasty remarks affect your productivity.
10) They take credit for your work
Ever been annoyed with someone who constantly claims a part in your success even if they didn’t contribute anything to it?
For instance, if you have been accepted in your dream job, an envious person will say, “That’s what you get for following my advice.”
Keep in mind that a jealous person tends to find a way just to be in the picture of your success.
11) They are fair-weather companions
While some jealous people take credit for your hard work, some just slink away when they see you making your dreams come true. This happens because your success only increases their feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
They like the fact that you’re getting all the spotlight. So, instead of feeling insignificant, they disappear during your proudest moments.
12) They cut you off during a conversation
One of the most obvious signs of jealousy is when someone always talks over you during a conversation. Interrupting you while talking, particularly when you’re talking about a positive experience, is a way to beat their growing bouts of insecurity.
Oftentimes, your achievements remind them of their own shortcomings, that’s why they cut you off and gloat about their own excellence. They can also blatantly ignore you and introduce a new topic in an attempt to shrug off their jealousy towards you.
13) They demotivate you
Ever wondered why that particular person kept you from achieving the plans you’ve shared with them? Chances are that person is jealous of you.
A jealous person usually tends to be encouraging at first, but somewhere along the way, they will plant seeds of doubt in your mind.
For one thing, they may say something like, “It’s great that you are planning to study abroad! But are you sure you can withstand living in a new environment?
Because, as you know, studying in an international school can be intimidating. If I were you, I’d pursue my studies here.”
14) They tell snide remarks
As we’ve mentioned, jealous people will never tell you that they’re jealous and insecure, but they will always need an outlet for the bad energy building inside them. Sometimes, in the form of unsolicited snide comments.
Their remarks will be sarcastic, indirect, and tend to be negative. And more often than not, their comments are not only limited to you—they will target others too. When jealousy enters a person’s headspace, it will dominate their thoughts.
15) They humiliate you in the presence of other people
Imagine you’re having a conversation with a jealous person and a common friend. As you all three speak, your common friend asks you about your personal experience about a certain topic.
But the jealous person suddenly butts in and begins insulting you about it.
A jealous person intends to humiliate and embarrass you any chance they get. And when you confront them, they will brush it off and say they were only joking and that you should only take it lightly.
16) They downplay your achievements
While your loved ones and genuine friends show how much they are happy for you, jealous people will turn their backs on you.
When you achieve a milestone, they will soothe their ego and pat themselves on the back by downplaying your success.
You would usually spot this in rather bitter sentences like “She only got a promotion because she’s got connections with the manager.” They will refuse to acknowledge your prowess because in their eyes, they are always the more deserving ones.
17) They love to gossip about you
Someone who is jealous of you will gossip more than the others because it gives them a false sense of superiority. But the truth is, an insecure soul lies behind gossip and rumors.
In an attempt to mask their low self-esteem, they will ruin your reputation by spreading rumors and negative remarks about you.
Keep an eye on those who gossip a lot about other people. They are likely the ones who stab you in the back, too.
18) They tell you you’re lucky
For a jealous person, everything significant that happens in your life is always out of sheer luck. They never acknowledge your skills and talents, even though you worked hard to achieve your goals in life.
For instance, a jealous person will tell you you’re lucky because you got promoted even though it took you blood, sweat, and tears to get you in that position.
So, the next time you hear “Oh, you’re so lucky,” think twice. Chances are it’s not out of admiration but sheer jealousy.
19) They want to be around you
Normally, jealous people avoid those who they envy. However, there are others who choose to be with you any chance they get. In fact, research suggests that jealousy can be a catalyst of a close relationship, but a toxic one.
When a jealous person is always present, it would feel like they’re stalking you. For instance, if you’re at a party, then suddenly you search over to see them, you’ll notice that they’re already staring and will quickly look away.
Jealous people can be overly attached to you. They latch because they’re envious of you, like leeches that feed off your greatness and take them for themselves.
20) They hate you for no apparent reason
Have you ever encountered a person who’s a great, pleasant friend to other people but shady towards you? And if they see you as a threat to the attention they’re getting, they will be more aggressive towards you.
Jealous people crave attention, and because they are unhappy with your presence, putting you down makes them feel better.
How to handle jealous people
Jealous people will pop into our lives, and nobody is exempt from this. Now that you know the signs someone is secretly jealous of you, it will be easier to spot and handle them.
1) Delve into the root cause of jealousy
Confrontation is the first step to knowing the reason behind a jealous person’s ill feelings towards you. When the person opens up, do not be defensive in response to their thoughts.
If the person brings up how great things are for you, and they feel resentful and bitter about it, remind them of your setbacks they may not be aware of.
Try to remain calm as much as possible when tackling a sensitive topic such as this. Do your best to keep your voice low so the other person won’t feel attacked.
2) Empathize with them
Now you know what triggers the other person’s jealousy, it would be easier for you to empathize with them. Being a bigger person can be challenging, but with practice, it will come more naturally.
For one thing, consider giving them some benefit of the doubt since they might be emotionally struggling with insecurities. Maybe they are feeling jealous of your career progress because they have been working hard to gain the respect of your boss.
They might be jealous of your life because they are going through a rough patch in their marriage life.
Jealousy is a sickening emotion to have, so it’s better to share some empathy for the struggle they are putting themselves through instead of resorting to judging them.
3) Provide them with a compliment
Knowing that a person’s jealousy is caused by their self-doubt, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy can help you become more open-minded and fight the urge to react in anger.
For instance, if they’re particularly jealous about how your home looks extravagant, you could say that they have a wide garden, which you don’t have at home. Highlight that people have varying strengths and skills in life, so there’s no need for feelings of jealousy.
You cannot compliment them fully to satisfaction, but you can help them shake off their negative view towards you if you give them positive feedback.
4) Talk about how you feel
If you are talking with a close friend, use “I statements” to convey your feelings about one specific remark or action that the person has said or done.
For instance, say “I feel uneasy when you say mean things about me to our colleagues, because it makes me feel like I was being rude to you.”
Never say “You make me feel,” “It makes me feel,” and the like, since these are vague statements. Try as much to be specific so that the other person can easily digest the circumstances.
5) Explain how their actions affected you
Do not put your emotions on the back burner. Explain how their actions have affected you and be specific about them.
For instance, you can start by saying, “I feel dejected when you constantly ignore me while you’re being a pleasant friend to others because it makes me feel like you don’t want me to be a part of the circle anymore.”
You can also share your own interpretation of a specific action. For example, you can say, “I feel confused when you told me it was sheer luck that led me to promotion because I feel I am not skilled nor hard-working enough to deserve this.”
Avoid putting the blame on the jealous person when ironing things out. For instance, avoid saying, “I feel pressured to answer your calls because you’re a jealous person.”
6) Limit your interaction
The first five tips are focused on you doing your part proactively to improve your friendship or relationship with the person who is jealous of you.
If you notice that they’re still exhibiting the same toxic behavior, then try to keep a distance from them.
They might have powerful, irreversible internal insecurities that make them sensitive and vulnerable to even the littlest things. In that case, anything you do might worsen their feelings and make them question their worth.
If there’s no way to get rid of them in your life completely, then limit your interaction with them. And when you interact, keep out personal or professional subjects out of the conversation.
7) Ignore them
Have you tried all the mentioned tips yet nothing good came out of it? Then it’s probably better to cut them out of your life.
You can never be right to the wrong people, and it’s totally fine to cut the shoe that pinches the foot. After all, there is no rulebook in life which says you have to be friends with every person you encounter.
It’s true that you have no control over their actions, but you can control your emotions. So, don’t react to their negativity at all costs.
The experience may not be pleasant at first, but not giving them the attention and satisfaction of seeing you dispirited can quickly help you get over the situation.
Make no room for toxic people in your life. Life is short to deal with negativity. Instead, choose to follow our last and probably the most essential tip below.
8) Spend more time with people who genuinely like and love you
Dealing with jealous, toxic people is mentally and emotionally draining. Before matters get the best of you, keep in mind to prioritize interacting with people who are worth your energy and time.
Not only will it save you from headaches, but bonding with people who bring value to your life will attract good things in life, such as happiness, contentment, and love.
If someone doesn’t like you, then there is no point in trying to please them since it will only cause you mental and emotional exhaustion. To save yourself from all the stress, make peace with the fact that not all people will like you.
There are so many other positive things in life that need us, such as genuine friends and a loving family. Choose to focus your attention on them and watch yourself further thrive in life.
Being the subject of jealousy can be more problematic than a flattering situation. And knowing the signs that someone is secretly jealous of you can help you get over it as quickly as possible.
You may feel the urge to burn bridges, but sometimes, a positive, non-confrontational conversation can mend things between you and the jealous person.
But it isn’t always the case. Keep in mind that no matter what you, there will always be two types of people in your life: those who genuinely like you and those who dislike you.
And if someone is jealous of you, it doesn’t make you any less worthy, does it?
So, if the jealous person wants to reestablish a healthy relationship with you, then great. But if the person furthers with their toxic behavior, then it’s not your loss.
Because at the end of the day, you have people who love and appreciate you for who you are. Choose to focus your time and energy on them.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.