7 signs someone is highly attracted to you but trying to play it cool

There’s a fine line between someone being coy and someone being genuinely interested in you, but trying to play it cool.

The distinction, my friends, often comes down to subtle signs. When someone is highly attracted to you, they can’t help but reveal their feelings through their behaviors, even if they’re trying to keep things on the down low.

As a relationship expert, I’ve learned how to decode these secret signals of attraction. And let me tell you, it’s not as hard as it seems!

In this article, I’ll share with you 7 signs that someone is highly attracted to you but trying to play it cool.

It’s going to be an interesting ride, so buckle up!

1) They’re always around

Attraction has a funny way of pulling people together.

In fact, some researchers have noted that  “Early-stage romantic love is characterized by some characteristics of addiction”. Yep, addiction. 

The point?

When someone is highly attracted to you, they’ll almost always find ways to be around you, even if they’re trying to stay nonchalant about it.

Take a moment to think about it. Is there someone who seems to be constantly running into you, at work, at the gym, or even at your favorite coffee shop?

They may be playing it cool on the surface, but their constant presence could reveal their true feelings. It’s a subtle sign, but often, it’s the first one that someone is attracted to you but trying to keep their cards close to their chest.

However, it’s important not to jump to conclusions based solely on this sign. But if it’s paired with some of the other signs on this list, you can be pretty sure you are onto something!

2) Lingering eye contact

Ever catch that someone not just looking your way but actually holding your gaze a touch longer than what feels normal?

It’s not the unnerving type of stare, but a warm, lingering look that seems to say more than words could. This isn’t just coincidence; it’s a classic sign of attraction.

Psychology experts affirm that prolonged eye contact can be a powerful indicator of interest, often sparking feelings of connection and affection. Ronald E. Riggio, a professor of psychology, has noted that deep eye contact can trigger the release of love-related hormones.

Similarly, dating expert Connel Barrett has said, “A clear sign someone is attracted to you is making eye contact, briefly averting their eyes and then returning their gaze to you,”

So next time you notice his or her eyes are drawn to yours just a little longer than usual, it might be time to read between the lines. 

3) They remember the little things

Do you remember that time when you casually mentioned your favorite band, and then a few days later, they brought up a recent article about that band in conversation?

Or that time when you told them about your love for Italian food, and suddenly they’re suggesting the new Italian place downtown?

Someone who’s attracted to you will take an interest in your likes, dislikes, and all the little details in between. They’re trying to connect with you on a deeper level, even if they’re not openly admitting their feelings.

More than that, though, they will probably remember the little things. Studies have shown that we are more likely to recall small details about people we are attracted to!

4) They seem indifferent sometimes

Now, this might sound counterintuitive, but bear with me.

When someone is highly attracted to you but trying to play it cool, there will almost certainly be times when they seem indifferent or even distant.

They might do this to protect themselves from being too obvious about their feelings. After all, nobody wants to wear their heart on their sleeve and risk getting hurt, right?

Are they’re hot one minute and cold the next? Don’t take it personally.

It could be that they’re wrestling with their feelings for you and trying to maintain a cool exterior.

We humans are complicated creatures!

5) They’re nervous around you

Let’s get real for a moment. When we’re attracted to someone, it can make us feel a bit jittery and nervous – and that’s completely normal!

However, it usually comes out in a certain type of nervousness. As Wendy L. Patrick, an author and career prosecutor, noted in a Psychology Today post, “Nervous reactions signaling interpersonal attraction include positive affect such as smiling and laughing..”

Someone trying to play it cool might be trying to appear calm and collected, but their nerves could be giving them away. Maybe they stumble over their words when talking to you or laugh more than usual. 

6) They’re protective of you

Over the years, I’ve noticed that people who are attracted to someone often have an instinct to protect them. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll go all superhero on you, but they might show concern for your well-being in more subtle ways.

Perhaps they make sure you’ve got home safely after a night out, or they’re the first ones to check on you when you’re feeling under the weather?

These small acts of care show that they value your safety and well-being and can be a subtle sign of attraction. 

7) They get a bit jealous

Last but not least, let’s talk about a feeling we’ve all experienced at some point: jealousy.

If someone is attracted to you but trying to play it cool, they might feel a twinge of jealousy when they see you getting close to others. They might not show it openly, but you might notice a change in their demeanor or an offhand comment.

A little jealousy is normal when someone has feelings for you. But it’s important that it stays healthy and doesn’t turn into possessiveness.

Conclusion

Attraction can be tricky, especially when someone is trying to play it cool. But if you pay close attention, you’ll start to see the signs.

However, every person and every relationship is unique. The signs I’ve shared in this article are common, but they’re not definitive proof of attraction.

Use them as a starting point. 

Then, trust your instincts, communicate openly, and, most importantly, enjoy the journey of discovering how someone feels about you. 

Good luck!