8 signs someone is attracted to you but too shy to admit it, according to psychology

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How often have you found out too late that someone was interested in you because you didn’t see the signs? It’s happened to me before, but by the time I found out, I had already started dating someone else. 

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to pick up on those little signs? Even if the person who is attracted to you is shy and not as forthcoming as other people might be?

Well, psychologists have figured out some of those signs, which might help you not to miss out next time.

Read on to find out some of the signs.

1) Looking at you but looking away quickly

When you were young and were interested in someone, you might have done this a lot. Looked over, but when they looked at you, you quickly turned away.  

It can be scary going over to talk to someone you’re interested in, especially if you’re not sure if they are interested in you as well. So when someone looks over and back, they are testing the waters. If you look back and smile, they might gain some more confidence and come and say help.

Psychologists in this article talk about how regular eye contact with someone might be a sign that they are attracted to you. 

And if you look a little closer and see their pupils dilated, that is another sign that this person quite likes you. This is what happens when we see anything pleasing to us.

2) Sticking close to you even if they don’t start a conversation

It can be hard to think about what to say to someone you don’t know very well but quite like, especially if you’re shy. We can get worried that we’ll say the wrong thing, and that person will think we’re stupid, so sometimes we just stand around and say nothing.

Psychologists say that when we are interested in someone, we want to hang out with them. So if you have someone who seems to be around all the time but doesn’t seem to start the conversation, then perhaps they are just worried they’ll say the wrong thing because they are attracted to you.

I’ve been like this in the past. I was always so grateful when the person I liked started the conversation, but they often didn’t realize that I was interested in them and they didn’t really get to know me.

3) If they ask mutual friends about you

If someone is shy so they find it difficult to strike up a conversation with you, it’s likely that if they are attracted to you, they will ask your friends or people who know you about what you’re like. 

This might give them some more information about you so that then they can try and say things that might interest you and get you to give them some attention.

So if you hear that someone has been asking about you and you’re interested in them too, do them a favor and strike up a conversation, give them some attention, and understand that they’re just a bit shy.

4) Interacting on social media

Have you ever noticed someone suddenly liking all your posts or reacting to your stories on social media?

This could be a sign that they’re interested in you but are a bit nervous to reach out or speak in person.

Some people find it less scary to message someone than to speak face to face. If you reject them then you can’t see their reaction, and they can do their best to avoid you afterwards. So this is one of the reasons someone shy might decide to interact with you on socials rather than come and have a chat in real life.

Maybe they’re liking everything you post, or maybe they’re sending you funny memes or songs that they like. Whatever it is, if this starts suddenly and continues constantly then this is a big sign that the person interacting with you probably likes you and wants to get to know you more.

5) Always looking nice around you

When you are attracted to someone and you know they are going to be somewhere you’d dress up a bit more than usual right?

If you notice someone who is doing this every time that you’re around but know that they don’t always do this, experts say that it might be a clue that they like you.

This article says that preening is a sign of attraction. It explains the little things someone does to make sure they look good are the clues.

Things like brushing their hair away from their face, straightening their clothes or sleeves, checking themselves in the mirror, or fixing or reapplying makeup are many different kinds of preening that we do when we like someone.

6) Complimenting or teasing

This one seems like a no-brainer, but it can be a sign that is often missed. Someone who likes you will test the waters by flirting via compliments or teasing to see how you react.

If you brush them off, they’re less likely to continue, but if you notice this early on and are interested too, try giving them a little bit back and see what happens.

If they’re shy they’ll be cautious at first because they’ll be worried about being rejected, but the more you give the more you get in this situation.

7) Getting flustered around you

Have you ever seen someone you liked and then your brain just decided to stop working? Maybe what you wanted to say didn’t come out of your mouth right?

Once, I went on a date and was so flustered by the guy I was dating that I spilled my entire coffee on my lap and had to go home and get changed instead of seeing the movie we’d booked. Oops!

This interesting article explains that we get flustered or anxious when we like somebody because everything is out of our control. It takes two to tango, and we’re just sitting here waiting to see if the other person wants to join in.

8) Trying to find things in common

One last thing psychologists say could be a sign that someone is attracted to you is that they might try to find a common interest. Perhaps even a hobby that you both like.

This way the person who is attracted to you can try to convince you to spend time with them and hopefully catch your eye at the same time. 

I’ve had people try to find out what sort of food I like and then ask me to dinner. I’ve also had people come and join a sport I was doing because they wanted to get to know me more. I was oblivious at the time, but found out later on these people were interested in dating me!

So keep an eye out. And if you’re interested too, lucky you! Go hang out with them and then invite them out the next time, because there could be more to this common interest than meets the eye.

Louisa Lopez

Louisa is writer, wellbeing coach, and world traveler, with a Masters in Social Anthropology. She is fascinated by people, psychology, spirituality and exploring psychedelics for personal growth and healing. She’s passionate about helping people and has been giving empowering advice professionally for over 10 years using the tarot. Louisa loves magical adventures and can often be found on a remote jungle island with her dogs. You can connect with her on Twitter: @StormJewel

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