Adrian Volenik
If you’re anything like me, you hate drama, especially when it’s happening in your relationship.
If you’d like to prevent this from happening to you, there are some glaring red flags you should know about.
From attention-seeking to gossip, restlessness, and even sabotage, drama addicts have some creative outlets you need to be aware of.
1) They have a constant need for attention
Let’s start with the obvious. Drama means attention. They get attention and validation from their partner by creating or escalating conflicts and drama.
Exaggerating stories or playing the victim are some easy ways to draw attention and sympathy from their partner.
Does that sound familiar to you?
I know some people who love to embellish details, fabricate events, or manipulate facts to make their stories more captivating and attention-grabbing.
Some of them even adopt the victim role to prompt sympathy and attention from their partners, who feel compelled to console and support them.
Unfortunately, many nights out in town were ruined because of this behavior. They just sour the experience to the whole group of people they’re with.
2) They thrive on chaos
Do you know what the mortal enemy of drama addicts is? Calm and peaceful situations. They can’t stand them.
They feel so uncomfortable that they provoke or instigate conflicts to maintain a sense of excitement and intensity in their relationship.
Some people thrive on chaos because they believe that intense emotional experiences and conflicts validate the strength or significance of their relationship.
They interpret the presence of drama as evidence of a passionate and meaningful connection, even if it’s ultimately unhealthy or unsustainable.
Basically, they equate drama with passion.
Others feel a sense of power, dominance, or control over their partner’s emotions, actions, or decisions.
Whatever the underlying reason, chaos is detrimental and exhausting for both parties.
3) They are incredibly jealous
We’ve made it this far without talking about jealousy. Some dose of healthy jealousy is acceptable in healthy relationships, I guess. It can be flattering, too.
On the other side, excessive jealousy is a big no-no. Those addicted to drama in their relationships often exhibit extreme jealousy, even in situations where there’s no valid reason for suspicion or insecurity.
They also use it as a tool to create drama and maintain control of the relationship.
They love to create drama by accusing their partner of cheating, flirting with others, or not giving them enough attention. All in an attempt to ensure that their partner’s focus remains on them.
I find this type of behavior simply disgusting.
4) They create drama out of nothing
Creating drama out of nothing is another specialty drama addicts have. They can blow minor issues out of proportion or interpret innocent actions or words as intentional insults or offenses, leading to unnecessary drama.
They start behaving as typical Karens, I’d say.
But not only that. Individuals who create drama are also serious snowflakes. They have heightened sensitivity to criticism.
They interpret neutral or constructive feedback as personal attacks, leading to defensive reactions and the escalation of minor issues into full-blown conflicts.
I mean, there are countless videos of this happening, and I have to say, they boil my blood.
5) They’re on an emotional rollercoaster
An emotional rollercoaster in a relationship is characterized by frequent and extreme emotional fluctuations, leading to intense highs and lows.
There’s no middle ground as that’s obviously too calm for drama queens, as I’ve already mentioned above.
There are several high-profile relationships that come to my mind when thinking about emotional rollercoasters.
They involved a significant degree of drama, intense emotional experiences, and, at times, turbulent endings.
Older folks will remember that Elizabeth Taylor was married to Richard Burton twice, and their relationship was known for its explosive nature.
Somewhat older people will also remember Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love. These rock stars had a wild relationship, marked by substance abuse and public scandals. We all know how that ended.
There are also Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil, Rihanna and Chris Brown, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, Tina and Ike Turner, and many others like them.
6) They feel uneasy or restless
Drama addicts have difficulty accepting stability and routine in their relationships. That’s why they’re constantly seeking change or new sources of excitement, which can contribute to an ongoing cycle of drama.
They simply feel uneasy or restless when their relationship is calm and stable, leading them to actively disrupt the peace and create drama to regain a sense of familiarity.
Fear of boredom, intimacy, and vulnerability, self-sabotage patterns, as well as the need for control and power can all be potential underlying factors for creating drama in periods of peace.
Of course, the problem is much deeper than that, and one of the best solutions is to get professional help or counseling that can provide insights.
7) They frequently gossip
When someone frequently gossips about their relationship issues or involves others in their drama, it has various underlying motivations and consequences.
For example, they seek validation and sympathy from friends and family.
By presenting their side of the story to others, they look for reassurance that they aren’t solely to blame for the problems in the relationship, relieving the need to take personal accountability.
This behavior can also inadvertently escalate conflicts. By pursuing validation or sympathy from others, they often receive advice or encouragement to confront their partner or take actions that further contribute to the drama and worsen existing issues.
Not to mention that the constant involvement of others in relationship drama is a breach of privacy and trust within the relationship.
Additionally, sharing intimate details with friends or family members violates the trust and confidentiality expected in a partnership, further damaging the trust and intimacy between partners.
8) They jump to conclusions
Don’t you just hate it when someone jumps to conclusions? It’s even worse when a person you’re with does it.
Someone who is addicted to drama in their relationship often has a tendency to jump to conclusions and assume their partner’s actions or behaviors are intentionally hurtful or betraying without considering alternative explanations.
They may have heightened suspicion or mistrust, leading them to immediately interpret their partner’s actions in the worst possible light.
In other cases, this behavior stems from deep-rooted insecurities. For instance, unresolved issues from past relationships or personal experiences that have left them feeling vulnerable and suspicious.
Whatever the reason, it must be dealt with because it’s unfair to the other person.
9) They can’t set boundaries
Personal boundaries are incredibly important for our autonomy, healthy balance, personal growth, and self-care.
Partners who struggle with setting boundaries may lack clarity about their own needs, values, and limits within the relationship.
Not setting and maintaining clear and healthy boundaries can lead to blurred lines, misunderstandings, and an increased potential for drama and conflict.
In every relationship that involves mature partners, boundaries will be respected and won’t be crossed.
10) They feed off other people’s drama
People addicted to drama in their relationships don’t just stop there. They obsess with other people’s drama too.
They consume and obsess over media, books, or movies that revolve around wild and tumultuous relationships, using them to vicariously experience the drama and feed their addiction.
This, in turn, reinforces existing beliefs and perceptions about relationships. They start to believe that drama and conflict are necessary aspects of love, and consuming media that aligns with these beliefs further solidifies their addiction to drama.
11) They sabotage positive moments
Positive moments and experiences are something we live our lives for. After the rain, the Sun comes up, right?
That might not be the case for people stuck with drama-addicted partners, as they sometimes tend to undermine or sabotage positive experiences or milestones.
Again, there could be many underlying reasons for that. They could also be feeling uncomfortable with sustained happiness and prefer the drama-filled dynamic, as I mentioned above.
12) They love makeups
I’ve known couples who have broken up and returned together many times. As I now think about them, I’m pretty sure one or both people in those relationships were drama addicted and/or addicted to makeups.
Some people become so addicted to the intense emotional experiences that come with getting together after a fight that they’re constantly pursuing the emotional rush of making up rather than working towards resolving the underlying issues.
It’s certainly not a good place to be in a relationship, let alone marriage. There’s no hard and fast rule on how to break this cycle. It will take a lot of introspection, time, and effort.
Final thoughts
Most signs of drama addiction mentioned above point to an overall lack of trust in their partner and the relationship itself.
They struggle with trust issues and may deliberately create drama to test their partner’s loyalty or commitment, reinforcing their own negative beliefs about relationships.
