8 signs someone is a high-quality person, according to psychology

Identifying a high-quality person isn’t always straightforward. Sometimes, it’s hidden in their actions or words. But psychology offers clear signs to look out for.

Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast. I’ve dived into the depths of psychological research to uncover eight signs someone is a high-quality person.

Let’s explore these markers together and learn how to recognize real quality in people around us. 

1) Genuine empathy

A standout trait of high-quality people is their genuine empathy.

Empathy is not just about understanding someone else’s perspective but feeling their emotions as your own. It’s a trait that allows high-quality individuals to connect with others on a deeper level.

Psychology tells us that empathy is the key to better relationships, and it’s something that high-quality people have in abundance.

They don’t just hear what you’re saying, they truly understand and feel for you.

This goes beyond simple sympathy. It’s about sharing in someone else’s happiness or pain, offering comfort, and making them feel heard and valued.

Take it from Carl Rogers, a renowned psychologist who once said, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

High-quality people make us feel ‘damn good’ because they genuinely empathize with us.

2) Consistent reliability

Another sign is their consistent reliability. High-quality people are those you can depend on, no matter what.

I remember a time when I was moving houses and was in a bit of a bind. A friend of mine, whom I now consider a high-quality individual, really stood out.

She not only offered to help me pack, but also showed up early and stayed late, ensuring everything was packed and moved with care. She didn’t just talk the talk; she walked the walk, showing up when it mattered the most.

As a fan of psychology, I can tell you this behavior aligns with what experts call ‘behavioral integrity‘. This is when someone’s actions match their words consistently. It’s a compelling sign of a high-quality person because it shows they value commitment and can be trusted.

3) Embracing humility

High-quality people have a sense of humility that’s truly commendable. They don’t see themselves as above others or seek to show off their achievements. Instead, they focus on learning, growing, and lending a hand to others.

This humility isn’t about self-deprecation or a lack of confidence; it’s about understanding that everyone has something valuable to contribute and no one is infallible.

I explore this concept deeply in my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”. Here, I delve into the Buddhist principle of humility and how it can help us lead more fulfilled and balanced lives.

In the book, I explain how high-quality people embody this principle by recognizing their strengths and weaknesses and valuing others’ contributions. They don’t let their ego get in the way of learning or helping others.

4) Ability to delay gratification

High-quality people possess an impressive ability to delay gratification. This means they can resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a more significant one that requires time and effort.

This trait is a key indicator of self-control and is linked to a variety of positive outcomes like academic success, physical health, psychological health, and social competence.

The famous Marshmallow Test conducted by psychologist Walter Mischel demonstrates this concept. In the test, children were offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately or two small rewards if they waited for a short period.

The results found that children who were able to delay gratification were more likely to have better life outcomes as measured by various parameters like educational attainment and body mass index.

So, if you see someone who’s able to put off immediate pleasure for long-term gain, you’re likely looking at a high-quality individual. As Mischel himself said, “The ability to delay gratification is critical for a successful life.”

5) Comfort with uncertainty

Now, this might sound a bit counter-intuitive, but high-quality people often display a surprising comfort with uncertainty.

While many of us crave certainty and predictability in our lives, these individuals understand that life is inherently uncertain and unpredictable. Instead of resisting or fearing it, they embrace it.

The ability to tolerate ambiguity indicates higher levels of creativity, open-mindedness, and problem-solving skills. It’s a trait that allows high-quality individuals to adapt to change, make difficult decisions, and innovate in the face of challenges.

In essence, comfort with uncertainty is not a sign of aimlessness or lack of planning; it’s a testament to their resilience and flexibility.

6) Healthy boundaries

As renowned psychologist Albert Bandura said, “In order to succeed, people need a sense of self-efficacy, to struggle together with resilience to meet the inevitable obstacles and inequities of life.” Setting healthy boundaries is a critical part of building that self-efficacy and resilience.

High-quality people know the importance of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. They understand their own limits and respect those of others.

Boundaries are a way of communicating our needs and ensuring mutual respect and understanding in our relationships. They are not walls, but guidelines for how we want to be treated by others.

High-quality people aren’t afraid to say ‘no’ when something doesn’t align with their values or priorities. They also respect when others set boundaries, acknowledging and appreciating their autonomy.

Maintaining healthy boundaries demonstrates self-respect, emotional intelligence, and strong interpersonal skills — all the hallmarks of a high-quality person.

7) Capacity for self-reflection

A high-quality person doesn’t shy away from the mirror of self-reflection. They’re willing to take a hard look at themselves, their actions, and their motivations.

It’s not always an easy process. There have been times in my life where self-reflection has led me to confront mistakes and shortcomings. But that’s exactly what makes it so valuable.

This willingness to self-reflect shows a commitment to personal growth and learning. It’s about acknowledging that we’re works in progress and having the courage to continuously strive for improvement.

8) Active listening

Active listening is a hallmark of high-quality people. It’s not just about being quiet when someone else is talking, but genuinely engaging with them, showing interest, and responding in a thoughtful way.

Active listeners don’t merely wait for their turn to speak; they seek to understand and learn from the speaker. They ask follow-up questions, restate or paraphrase to confirm understanding, and provide relevant responses.

This trait is crucial in building meaningful relationships. It shows respect for the other person’s thoughts and feelings and fosters trust and open communication.

Reflecting on quality

The traits we’ve discussed, from empathy to active listening, aren’t set in stone. They can be nurtured and developed. We can learn to be more empathetic, to listen actively, to embrace uncertainty, and to set healthy boundaries.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve into how we can cultivate these traits and live with authenticity and compassion.

Being a high-quality person isn’t about perfection but continuous growth. It’s about acknowledging our shortcomings and working on them while appreciating our strengths.