Mia Zhang
We all have that one person in our lives. You know, the one who seems to suck all the energy out of the room when they enter. They’re not necessarily a bad person, but their presence can be draining.
According to psychology, there are some things to look out for that might hint that someone is a real energy vampire.
In this article, we’re going to delve into the 10 signs that someone might be a draining person to be around. Trust me, once you know what to look for, it’ll be a lot easier to protect your energy and keep things positive.
1) They’re constantly negative
Ever been around someone who can’t seem to find the silver lining in any situation? That’s the first sign of a draining person.
Negativity can be incredibly draining. It’s like a black hole that sucks up all the positive energy around it. And once you’re in its gravitational pull, it can be hard to escape.
It’s not just about being a downer, though. This negativity can manifest in many ways – from constant complaining to always playing the victim.
Remember, it’s okay to have a bad day and vent. But if someone is always stuck in this negative mindset, they might be more draining than you realize.
2) They don’t respect boundaries
Another clear sign of a draining person is a lack of respect for personal boundaries.
One of my mates Mark has this habit of showing up unannounced at my place, always needing a favor or just wanting to talk. When I confronted him about it, he brushed it off as no big deal.
Respecting boundaries isn’t just about physical space. It’s about understanding and honoring the emotional and mental space of others as well.
If someone consistently invades your personal space or disregards your feelings without considering your comfort level, they may be draining your energy without even realizing it.
3) They guilt trip you
Guilt tripping is another classic tactic of a draining person. It’s a form of emotional manipulation that can be hard to identify, and even harder to resist.
I remember a time when a former colleague would often make me feel guilty for not helping them with their workload. They’d say things like, “I thought we were friends,” or “I’d do it for you.” It was exhausting and left me feeling like I was always at fault.
As renowned psychologist Albert Ellis stated, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
Don’t let people make you feel guilty for their problems or failures. It’s okay to help others, but remember, it’s not your responsibility to carry their burdens.
4) They’re always the victim
If you’re always hearing about how someone else has wronged them, and how they’re always the innocent party, you might be dealing with a draining person.
I’ve had experiences with people like this in my life. They never seem to take responsibility for their actions and instead, always find a way to play the victim card. It’s tiring and honestly, quite frustrating.
As psychologist Wayne Dyer put it, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” This highlights the importance of taking responsibility for our own actions instead of blaming others.
It’s important to remember that we all have control over our actions and reactions. If someone continually plays the victim, it may be a sign they’re more draining to be around than you realized.
5) They’re overly charming
Now, this might seem counterintuitive at first. How can someone who’s charming be draining? Well, it’s all about the intention behind the charm.
I once knew someone who was incredibly charming. They’d light up a room with their charisma and made everyone feel special. But eventually, I noticed that they only turned on the charm when they needed something.
Essentially the charm wasn’t authentic, it was in a way manipulative and therefore exhausting. Always trust your instincts in these situations.
6) They have a sense of entitlement
A strong sense of entitlement can be another sign that someone is draining to be around. These individuals often believe that they deserve special treatment or that the world owes them something.
As psychologist Nathaniel Branden noted, “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” If someone can’t acknowledge their sense of entitlement, it’s unlikely they’ll change this behavior.
This feeling of entitlement often leads to unreasonable demands and a lack of respect for others’ time and effort.
If you’re constantly feeling pressured to meet someone’s high expectations without any regard for your own needs, they may be more draining to be around than you thought.
7) They’re excessively needy
Being there for someone in their time of need is one thing, but when someone is constantly in need, it can be draining.
I had a friend who would always turn to me for every little problem they faced. At first, I was glad to help. But over time, it became clear that they were overly reliant on me for emotional support.
If someone is excessively needy, they may not be aware of the strain they’re putting on others.
You don’t have to be constantly tending to someone’s needs at the expense of your own. It’s important to recognize this and put some boundaries in place.
8) They’re overly critical
Criticism is a part of life, but when someone is constantly critical, it can be incredibly damaging.
I had a boss who was never satisfied, always picking at every little thing I did. It was exhausting and took a serious toll on my self-esteem.
Constructive criticism can help us grow, but constant nitpicking and negative feedback can stifle growth and drain your energy.
If you’re frequently on the receiving end of unwarranted criticism, remember, it’s okay to stand up for yourself and seek positivity.
9) They’re overly agreeable
This one might seem counterintuitive, but stay with me. Someone who always agrees with everything you say can be just as draining as someone who’s constantly critical.
It can come of as insincere and made it difficult to have meaningful conversations with them. You can also start to doubt whether your idea is good or not as you never seem to have feedback.
Authenticity is key in any healthy relationship.
10) They’re always seeking attention
The last sign that someone may be draining to be around is constant attention-seeking behavior. I once knew a person who would do anything to be the center of attention, even if it meant causing drama or making others uncomfortable.
Attention-seeking behavior often stems from a lack of self-esteem or a desire for validation.
Some who constantly needs to be the center of attention can suck all of your energy. It’s important to surround yourself with people who lift you up, not bring you down.
