She used to be sweet, attentive, and even a little bit clingy.
But lately, she’s none of that. In fact, you can sense that she’s pulling away.
Does this mean she’s losing interest?
To help you along, here are 10 warning signs that she’s indeed losing interest and what you can do to fix it.
1) She’s not as “open” as she used to be
She used to overshare about her life. You even found it cute that she talks so much. But now? She’s a woman of few words.
For example, you can sense that she’s going through something. But when you ask her about it, she just smiles and tells you “I’m fine!”
Or when you see her being ecstatic and you ask her why, she just tells you “it’s nothing” and leaves it at that.
She might even look a bit pissed that you asked.
Things about her life that you used to be privy to—things she might have even been perfectly happy to share with you in the past—are no longer available to you.
Something must have happened for things to get to this point.
Perhaps she no longer sees the point of sharing when you’re no longer her person.
2) She’s stopped being clingy
If she’s just the kind of person who isn’t clingy in the first place, there would be no issue.
But the two of you used to be joined at the hip and now… well, she simply isn’t that eager to hang around with you anymore.
Now, there’s always the chance that she simply decided she shouldn’t be clingy anymore. That’s fine—people grow and change all the time.
But you know it’s not the case because you see her being clingy with her friends so you know that she’s still that kind of person.
And it’s not like you tried to make her stop being so clingy too!
So it’s like she simply decided she isn’t going to poke you for your attention as much. And that’s probably because she doesn’t want it as much as before.
3) She’s no longer willing to negotiate
Whenever you have an argument or need to choose between several options, she always insists on getting her way.
She simply doesn’t argue or try to negotiate anymore.
It might feel like she no longer cares what you want at all. And this doesn’t just happen once or twice—rather, it happens almost every single time.
You even have a strong feeling that she’s willing to ditch you anytime you “get in the way” of her happiness.
This is a clear sign that she’s losing interest in you.
She’s stopped focusing on you or your relationship, and has focused solely on herself.
4) She has stopped complaining
At first glance you might think “wait, isn’t it a GOOD THING if she isn’t complaining all the time?” and you would be right.
But sometimes, complaints are also a sign that she cares enough about you and the relationship.
So the moment she stops complaining about anything at all—even for things that obviously matter to her— pay attention. She might be losing interest in you.
But it’s not too late.
This isn’t a straightforward problem to deal with but with the right guidance, you can turn things around.
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5) She stopped initiating
Now, we know that sometimes people do have valid reasons for why they might go quiet. It’s impossible to be always “ON” all the time.
And in some cases, they might be facing difficult personal battles, and don’t want to be a burden to the people they love.
But the thing is that if she’s going silent on you for these reasons, it would be temporary and she’d get right back to talking to you once things got better on her end.
She might even warn you that she’s having problems and needs some personal space.
But that’s not what’s going on here.
She refuses to initiate things—from dates to sex to convos—and this has been going on for far too long.
You would send her texts and she leaves you on “seen”. She barely talks when you’re together and, when she does, her responses are incredibly terse.
6) She treats you like an annoyance
She rolls her eyes when you try talking with her. She taps her toes, groans, and then tells you to cut to the chase. She might even walk away outright!
She makes you feel like you’re an annoyance, and that she would be much happier without you around.
You might think “well duh, isn’t this obvious?” but the thing is that when it starts, it really isn’t obvious at all.
You might notice some mild irritation and pass it off as her simply being stressed or that it’s just her hormones affecting her mood.
By the time it gets really bad, you might not notice it because you have gotten way too used to being treated this way.
7) She’s always making excuses
You try to schedule a date with her and she shrugs you off telling you that she’s too busy.
She turns down any form of affection by telling you that she’s not feeling well.
But you know that these are all excuses. You can see her posting about random nonsense on her social media, and she certainly seems to have plenty of time to spare for her friends.
Even if she is actually busy or unwell, it seems like these excuses only come up when she’s trying to spend her time with YOU.
What this means, of course, is that you’re no longer so important to her like you once were in the beginning of your relationship.
And while getting bored with our partner is normal for any long-term relationship, if she’s ALWAYS making excuses, there’s a problem.
8) She makes no attempts to reach out to you
You’ve been reaching out to her, and trying to engage with her. But she rarely if ever does the same anymore.
And when she cancels plans for whatever reason, she makes no attempts at trying to set a new schedule.
She might say “oh, maybe we can do it sometime later” but avoid actually committing to it or giving specific dates.
Sometimes it’s inevitable for dates and conversations to get cut short by real life.
But someone who is interested in you will try to make up for it by trying to find a better time and by reaching out to you.
And if they really still like you, if they can’t give a solid answer, at least they will explain why.
9) She doesn’t get jealous anymore
Now I’m not saying you should go and test her by trying to make her jealous. That never goes well.
And if she is indeed losing interest in you, doing this will make it impossible to fix things up.
I don’t mean her any longer getting mad and running up to you the moment she sees you talking to another girl. If anything, that’s a sign of maturity and is something you want to see in a girl.
The issue is if, say, a girl blatantly flirts with you in front of her and she doesn’t even hold her breath!
Even the most mature person in the world gets affected by this.
For her to react like it’s nothing means that she simply doesn’t care about losing you anymore.
10) It feels awkward to talk about the future with her
You would try talking to her about where you should go in your relationship and it feels like she’s barely paying attention at all.
It’s almost like her response to everything you say is some kind of “eh, I guess?” so it simply feels awkward to try talking about the future with her.
How can it not be awkward when it feels like you’re the only one interested?
Her lack of enthusiasm is so obvious that it can make you feel ashamed of yourself for even trying.
This is especially damning if she used to be full of dreams and ambitions of your future together.
You might realize how different things have become from how they used to be and wonder… What happened?
It’s simple, really—she is losing interest in you.
The spark that had her all dreamy back in the day is gone.
How you can fix your relationship
1) Make her aware about your observations.
Tell her how you feel.
But before saying your first word, it’s important that you mentally prepare yourself for this.
Remind yourself that you’re here not to accuse her, but to share your feelings and understand her thoughts.
A good idea is to run your thoughts through your head a few times first before speaking, because it can be easy to accidentally phrase things the wrong way.
For example, instead of telling her that she’s been distant lately, tell her that you FEEL like she’s been distant.
The difference is subtle but it matters a whole lot.
One is more accusatory than the other.
Instead of asking why she isn’t putting any effort into the relationship, tell her that it’s how you FEEL and that you can be wrong.
2) Try to understand why things are this way.
Assuming your conversation has gone well, and that you both are well aware of the situation at hand, then the next step is to try to understand why things have become this way.
That is to say, why has she lost interest in you? Ask her why, and ask her to be as honest as she can be.
Have you been way too clingy towards her, or too neglectful?
Maybe you simply haven’t been speaking her love language at all.
It’s even possible that some of your beliefs and ideals, or even the things you said made her question being with you.
Whatever she has to say, make sure you remember whatever it is she tells you, and don’t lash out at her for speaking up.
Good communication is vital for any kind of relationship. And it’s extremely necessary if you’re going through a crisis.
And the way to be a good communicator is by becoming a good listener. So listen well and be kind.
3) Try to win back her affection.
Understanding will go nowhere without action, of course.
So that’s the next step you should take. It’s not like you can somehow magically win back her affection just because you talked about it.
Pointing out that there’s nothing to eat because nobody bothered to cook dinner isn’t going to make dinner appear out of nowhere. You still need to go and cook dinner!
It might not be easy, but try to find ways to answer her issues with you. And in fact, if it’s possible, go the extra mile. Make her feel like a queen.
Of course, keep in mind that you shouldn’t be doing this JUST to win back her affection. It’s not a temporary thing, but rather something you should stick by all throughout your relationship.
Slipping back to old habits will not only have her start drifting away again, but also kill any future chances of you getting back together.
4) If nothing changes, pull away.
Sometimes things simply don’t work out no matter how hard you try.
After all, it takes two to tango and just because you’ve tried to “man up” and fix everything about you, doesn’t mean that she’ll fall right back in love with you.
So that’s why you should just back off and make your absence felt.
I’ve seen this work on even the most extreme cases.
A funny thing about the human mind is that whenever we are about to lose something we’ve always had, all of a sudden it becomes irresistible.
While you shouldn’t count on it 100%, it’s quite likely that by leaving her behind you’ll only have her running back to your side.
You can check out this excellent free video if you want to know more about this phenomenon and how you can apply it to your relationship.
It is a bit sneaky, if I have to be honest, so do the steps mentioned above before you pull off this magic trick.
5) If she comes back, discuss what you need from here on out.
Just as there is a chance you’ll fail, there’s also a chance you’ll succeed. But just because you’ve succeeded in getting her back doesn’t mean you can rest on your laurels.
On the contrary, you should have another talk when you’re okay with each other again to discuss the phase your relationship had just gone through.
Talk again about where the two of you had gone wrong, how you managed to fix it, and then how you can do better moving forward.
Talk about your plans for the future, and stick by them where you can.
After all, getting her back isn’t supposed to be a temporary thing where you can just go back to your old ways when you’re done “fixing” things.
Rather, it’s part of your relationship growing and evolving, and the two of you learning together.
It’s not easy to be in love with someone who’s losing interest in you.
And what’s scary is that while the signs might seem obvious at a glance, you might be surprised by how gradually it all happened.
It’s rare for these things to manifest overnight. Instead, they slowly build up as she loses more and more interest in you. And the longer it goes on, the harder it is to get her back.
That’s why it’s important that you try to catch it as soon as you can. That way you can do something about it before it’s too late. Having someone else offer their perspective and guidance can help you a lot.
And again, when it comes to proper relationship guidance, I highly recommend Relationship Hero.