Are you wondering just how much she likes you?
Maybe you’ve already fallen hard and you’re hoping she feels the same. Or perhaps it’s the opposite. You’re trying to dodge getting into anything too serious, so you want to know her expectations.
So how do you tell if she wants a future with you?
If you want to know how strong her feelings are, then check out these 18 undeniable signs she wants you to commit long-term.
1) She tells you she’s ready to settle down
Guys, can I tell you a secret?
I am a woman who is looking for a long-term relationship. But I’ve always been hesitant to reveal this when dating. Particularly when it’s early days.
You don’t want to “scare a man off”, and a lot of girls do worry that admitting you’re looking for something serious might do that.
That’s why if a woman is open about the fact that she is looking for a relationship, then she isn’t holding back.
She’s not playing games and is making it clear that her end goal is to build a relationship with someone.
Of course, it doesn’t necessarily mean that person is you. But if she has it in mind that she wants to settle down, then she is likely to take dating more seriously.
She isn’t going to waste her time on something that isn’t ultimately going anywhere. A woman telling you that she is looking for a long-term relationship is always going to be the biggest sign that she will eventually expect that from you.
2) She wants to spend more and more time with you
How long should you date before being committed?
There aren’t any hard rules about how often you see someone when dating before it “gets serious”. But let’s face it, the more time you spend together, the more attached you become.
And if you’re spending time with her multiple times per week, and speaking every day, then you’re probably pretty close.
So if she’s asking you to meet up regularly, then she obviously thinks you two have a good connection. It’s a sign she is investing herself in you and so one of those signs she is serious about you.
It shows that she sees you as an important part of her life and that she values your presence.
If on the other hand, you’re only meeting up once a week or less, then it gives out far less committed vibes, which suggests her expectations are probably lower.
3) She wants to make plans in advance
If she’s talking about gigs in the summer you can go to, or what your Christmas plans are — then it’s clear she’s imagining you’ll still be around.
This means she’s thinking ahead and taking steps towards building a future with you.
If she didn’t know whether she wanted things to progress, then she wouldn’t make plans too far in advance.
That’s why her mentioning future events with the assumption you’ll still be together is a sure-fire sign that she wants you to commit long-term.
4) She makes herself available for you
How do you know if a girl is serious about you? Life is always going to be filled with conflicting priorities.
There are only so many hours in the day to fit in friends, family, and work commitments. Not to mention all of the daily self-care and life’s to-do’s.
We all have to make some quick calculations about what is most important to us. That way we make time for the things we care most about.
If she is always free when you want to see her, if she shifts around other plans so that she can see you, if she says no to other things so that she can be with you instead — you are clearly one of her biggest priorities.
She is unlikely to drop everything for a man she doesn’t see a future with. So if she is constantly saying yes to you, then she is showing that she cares about you and wants to invest in you.
5) She takes initiative
If she doesn’t hear from you, it won’t be long before she drops into your inbox.
If you haven’t suggested meeting up in a few days, she’ll ask you if you are free on Friday.
A lot of people think women will always wait for a guy to ask to hang out with them. But this is not true at all.
When a girl is into a guy, and things aren’t moving at the pace she would like, then she will often try to move things along.
If she isn’t leaving it all to you, then it shows that she’s willing to put in the extra effort to try and build a relationship with you.
Men and women are the same in this sense. The amount of effort you are prepared to put in is directly proportional to how interested you are, how much you care, and how committed you are.
6) She tries to help you out
I reached out to a guy friend and asked him when he knows a girl is serious about him.
One of the clear signs he has noticed from past experience is when a woman really tries to help him out. She goes out of her way to do things for you.
This is what he told me:
“I can tell when someone wants to be serious with me when she starts to search for jobs for me, to volunteer any help I may need, and offer to do things for me. That sort of thing. The dynamic turns into her clearly trying to build a safe space for me, you know?”
The more favors she wants to do for you the more invested she is. When she tries to support you, it’s because she genuinely cares.
If she wants the best for you and is thinking about your future, it’s because she is thinking about you two as a long-term thing.
An investment in you is also ultimately an investment in the life you two would have together.
7) She lets you get close
Letting down our barriers isn’t actually so easy. When it comes to romance, old battle wounds mean we often put up walls to avoid getting hurt.
We don’t let those walls down for everyone.
So if she’s vulnerable around you it’s because she is letting you in. And if she’s letting you in, it’s one of those signs she wants you for the long-term.
That means she trusts you enough to reveal her secrets. She’s happy to let you see her with no makeup, or in her sloppy clothes.
It means she feels comfortable being vulnerable around you enough to let you see her at both her best and worst. She is keeping it real. And this shows that she is getting closer to you.
8) She wants to know if you’re seeing or sleeping with other people
If she’s fishing for info about other women then being exclusive is most likely what’s on her mind.
Not many women want to share a guy they really like with other girls. And that’s doubly true if she sees you two going somewhere in the future.
If she asks you if you’re seeing anyone else right now, she’s probably looking for reassurance that you’re not.
She might also check to see if you’re still using dating apps, or ask you who that girl is that recently started liking all of your pics on Insta.
Any flashes of jealousy are often a sign that we are in it for the long haul, otherwise, we’re less likely to care what you’re getting up to.
9) She makes sure you feel special
When you care about someone and you want to build a future with them, you want to make them happy.
It could be by praising and complimenting you, making you feel like her hero, or showering you with attention and affection.
So if she does things to make you smile, laugh, or feel good about yourself, then she’s doing everything in her power to show you that she likes you.
And if she’s showing you that she likes you, it’s a sign that she wants to see where this could go.
If she’s pulling out all the stops to try and charm you and win you over, then she probably wants you to commit long-term.
10) She has deleted her dating apps
If she “casually” lets you know that she’s not on the dating apps any longer, this isn’t casual.
She is making her intentions clear that she is putting all her eggs into one basket moving forward, and that basket is clearly you.
This is a big deal.
When you first start seeing someone, most of us keep using dating apps. We’re not that hasty to get rid of them.
Who knows if it’s even going to work out or whether you’ll end up getting rejected etc. The vulnerability of the situation means we prefer to feel like there are still backup options.
But if she’s deleting her dating apps, it’s a sign she wants to focus on building something solid with you.
11) She introduces you to her friends
You usually don’t introduce someone to your buddies unless you think there’s a good chance they are here to stay.
If she starts introducing you to her friends it’s a sign that she at least thinks of you as potential long-term relationship material.
If she wants you to join her for friends’ birthdays, weddings, or other events — then she’s bringing you into her inner circle.
This is a very clear sign that she is starting to feel committed to you and will want you to commit too.
12) She talks about marriage and kids
Anyone who asks you about marriage and kids is showing her hand. It shows she is at that stage where grown-up committed relationships are on the agenda.
If she wants to know if you see these things in your future, she’s most likely checking whether you’re going to be a good prospect.
She probably doesn’t want to waste her time if that’s what she wants eventually and you don’t. Similarly, if she doesn’t want children but you do, she wants to know you’re on the same page.
Either way, it’s a signal that she’s feeling the situation out to see whether you will be compatible for the long term.
13) She tells you she loves you
The L-word is obviously a big deal.
For most women who want a monogamous relationship, telling a man you love him means you will definitely want him to commit to you.
If she says those little three words to you, it shows she’s serious about being exclusive and committed to you.
If she says she’s “falling for you”, then you’ve gone way past the point of casualness.
14) She asks where this is going
It often takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable enough to ask where someone sees things going, or where they want things to go.
So no matter how casually she brings it up, if she wants to know whether you envisage a future with her at some point, it’s because she wants one with you.
Asking you directly “what are you looking for?” or “what do you want from this?” is a way of finding out if the feelings are mutual.
If she wants you to commit long-term to her, there is only so long that she will be prepared to avoid having “the talk” about where things are heading.
15) She’s relaxed about PDA
How do you know if she wants to commit? One of the physical signs is in her body language towards you. Specifically, just how touchy and feely she is prepared to get in public.
If she is fine with public displays of affection, she’s not worried about who might see. If she is happy to hold your hand in the street, kiss you and cuddle up close when you are out, this is quite a couple way to behave.
It shows a certain level of intimacy and connection.
Usually, you’re not comfortable about showing the world you two are together unless you want to be exclusive.
16) She wants you to meet her family
If her family knows about you, then she’s serious about you. If she wants you to meet her family, then she wants to see that you are also serious about her too.
Meeting the parents is a milestone in any relationship. Most people don’t take it lightly.
If she invites you to a family gathering or significant event (like a christening, wedding, or anniversary) then she totally wants you to commit.
17) She expects more from you
If she sees it as casual, she probably expects a lot less from you. The moment she starts to want more, she is going to expect more from you too.
Maybe in the beginning she would let you get away with canceling dates because “something came up”. Perhaps she was chill about you being too busy to see her. She would never say anything about both Friday and Saturday night being occupied with “boys night”.
In short: she didn’t make too many demands of you and your time.
But as things progress she’s unlikely to let things slide if it falls below her expectations.
The more she cares, the more she will expect your behavior to reflect the commitment she is looking for.
18) She makes digs about your current situation
Not every woman will feel confident enough to ask you straight out how you feel about her, and whether you want to commit long-term.
But if she doesn’t feel happy about your current level of commitment, you might find her frustrations start to spill out.
She could make little “jokes” or “digs” about your relationship status that reveal her insecurity. This is passive-aggressive behavior that points to simmering tensions below the surface.
She wants more from you, but she doesn’t know quite how to ask for it. So she may well make snide comments about how uncommitted you are or how little effort you make.
In conclusion: How do you know if a girl is serious about you?
There are many ways to tell if a girl is serious about you. Some of those signs will depend on the girl, as well as your unique situation and relationship status.
You can use the above list and pick which ones apply to your case. But remember, these are all general indicators. They aren’t foolproof.
You need to pay attention to what she says and does as well as how she acts.
You should never jump to conclusions based on a single sign. What’s most important is that you communicate clearly with her.
Don’t assume anything – it’s better to ask her. Being straightforward about what you want from one another will mean that both of you are less likely to end up getting hurt.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.