21 big signs she wants you back (but is scared)

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After the two of you break up, you realize she’s the one you really want.

You’re willing to do anything to make things work but you’re not exactly sure that she feels the same way.

Not to worry. She might want to get together just as much but is also just as nervous as you.

In this article, I will give you 21 signs that a girl wants you back but is just scared.

1) She hasn’t blocked you

First thing’s first. Check her social media accounts. Has she blocked you? If she has, then that’s a pretty clear sign that she isn’t interested anymore.

But if she hasn’t blocked you yet, then she may want to talk to you again. She might not have any intentions to get back together soon, but she’s not closing her doors.

She still wants to see your updates and feel your presence, even if it’s just online.

This means, she’s not looking to cut you out of her life completely.

2) She gets self-conscious when you’re around

You’ve obviously seen each other’s bad sides if you’ve broken up already, so there shouldn’t be any reason for her to be concerned about how you see her.

If she doesn’t like you, then she wouldn’t care about what you think about her at all.

Unless, of course, she wants you back so she tries to make sure you see her in the best way possible.

3) She sends cryptic messages

Ask just about anyone and they’ll tell you that girls like to talk with double meanings. That is to say, they would say one thing, but imply something else.

If she’s saying things that make you think there’s more going on than meets the eye, there probably is.

It’s cryptic, but it’s not impossible to decipher. I recommend talking to a certified relationship coach. I can vouch for them—they can decipher these hidden messages quite well.

I would recommend Relationship Hero.

I had a good experience with their relationship coaches. They helped me with some troubles I was having with my relationship.

What happened was that me and my ex were having a hard time talking because I kept on getting confused by what she was saying. She, on her end, kept walking away from our chats frustrated, every time.

When I talked to my relationship coach from Relationship Hero, I realized where I went wrong. We figured out together that she was trying to tell me that she was still interested in me—subtly. My coach then helped me figure out the best way to talk to her.

And now we’re together again.

I probably won’t be where I am now without my relationship coach.

So click here to get started. to get started, and enjoy having someone give you personalized advice for your situation.

4) She reacts to your body language

Body language is pretty hard to control for most people because it’s an unconscious human response that helps us convey our thoughts and emotions better.

If you find your ex reacting to even subtle shifts in your body language, then she’s most definitely paying close attention to you.

She is probably looking for clues that you still like her—like if you get closer to her when you talk or if you find a way to touch her.

She’s trying to read you the way you’re trying to read her. She’s hoping to observe obvious body language that says you still want her.

And so, of course, this means that she’s still interested in you.

5) She still worries about you

Most break-ups end with both people cutting each other off. And with that break-up, they couldn’t care less for how well their former other half is doing.

So if she seems to keep worrying about you—like fussing about whether you’ve been eating well or whether your job is going great— then it means she cares for you a lot still.

Sometimes an ex-couple can remain friends after the break-up, true, but what she does is more than just friendly concern. It’s like she’s still looking out for you as if you’re still together.

6) Her friends “spy” on you

She’ll want to keep an eye on you but she might be too scared or nervous to do it herself.

She doesn’t want to appear too desperate! So what does a girl do? She gets her friends to do the detective work for her.

You might see her friends hanging around you or even talking to you more than they used to.

It might not be immediately obvious, especially if you were already friends with her friends before your break-up. But you might see signs of it anyways from the kind of questions they ask of from her seemingly knowing more than she should.

7) She lights up when you’re around

You’d think she’d be scowling at you since you broke up. But instead, she’s got a cheery look on her face when she sees you. But then she tries hard to hide it.

You know what this looks like. We see it a lot in the movies.

That facial expression of barely restrained happiness is one of the most obvious signs you can look out for.

What does this mean? Well, she’s definitely happy to see you, of course.

8) You can sense she’s holding in her feelings

You might be able to sense that there’s something more she wants to say when you talk with her but for some reason, she isn’t saying it.

She stutters and changes the topic…and you just know there’s just something she wants to say but can’t.

Once you notice this, try to initiate a conversation and feel her out.

Be casual about it, so that she gets comfortable and drops her guard a bit. Maybe she’ll let something slip then.

9) She keeps breaking “no contact”

You both probably agreed to not contact each other after your break up, or maybe it was an unspoken agreement.

Either way, she keeps trying to contact you again in spite of this.

She clearly wants to keep talking and communicating with you. Her head tells her to stop texting, but her heart simply can’t do it.

10) She hangs out at your favorite places

You’re out with your friends and she suddenly pops up. You “accidentally” bump at each other in the grocery store.

You’re seeing her quite often even if you’re already broken up.

Unless she’s somehow developed the exact same interests as you and conveniently forgot that you spend a lot of time in these places, then the only reason she’d have for hanging out there is to hopefully catch you there.

11) She hasn’t changed much

When a girl is over you, she will transform into a new being. And this is especially true if she’s already in love with someone else.

If her tastes haven’t changed much—or at all—then chances are that she’s still the same person who fell in love with you, and that she probably still does.

Your break-up happened for a reason, of course. But chances are that she might want you back still once those reasons are dealt with.

12) She still laughs at your jokes

A deep romantic relationship will inevitably end up with both parties sharing a sense of humor.

If you were together for a long enough time, then you might even have inside jokes that only the two of you understand.

That shared sense of humor would normally change after a big event like a break up.

But she’s still laughing at the same dumb stuff you do, so she probably has feelings for you.

13) She wants to be a “good friend”

She’s not yet ready to be back together, but she doesn’t want to lose you for good.

So what does she do? She does what she can to keep you close—by being a friend!

She tries to remain friends with you, even if your break-up was messy and painful.

This way, she can look and see if the time ever comes when you might be compatible again and when she’d be brave again to make a move.

14) She still hasn’t returned your stuff

Assuming that your ex isn’t vindictive, then it’s only fair for her to return whatever you have that’s in your hands.

I mean, it’s for her own good, right? She’ll have less stuff in her apartment. And if she truly wants to move on, she will want as few reminders of your time together as possible.

Her hesitating to return your stuff—or doing so reluctantly—means that she’s clinging to those memories. She’s also hoping that you might drop by to get them one item at a time.

15) She’s not dating anyone

This is a pretty easy one to point out.

She’ll find it hard to date someone while she’s still in love with you!

So if she’s staying single until now, chances are that she’s holding out for you. She’s just unsure how to approach you, or whether it’s even okay to do so in the first place.

16) She can’t last a week without reaching out

She shouldn’t have any reason to reach out this much after you broke up with her. And yet here she is.

And it’s not as if she reached out to get something she forgot at your place—she’s there for idle chit-chat and a bit of catching-up.

No two ways about it. She definitely misses the connection you used to have if she can’t even go a week without reaching out to you.

17) She stalks you

Social media offers us a very easy way to stalk people.

Now, most websites aren’t exactly going to inform you who’s been looking through your profile or browsing your photos.

But sometimes she might slip up and end up “liking” a post of yours,or she might bring up something you talked about on social media without realizing her mistake.

And of course, she might end up blabbing about it with her friends and colleagues, and catch them talking about things you’ve said… even if you could swear that they didn’t even know your social media account!

18) She talks and posts about the things you have in common

Assuming you haven’t mutually blocked one another, you might find her vague-posting about the things you have in common.

She might talk about your shared hobbies, or your shared love for jerky and steak. It’s almost as if she’s trying to call out to you.

And in a way, she is!

She wants to remind you that you have these in common, and that the connection you had was one of a kind.

19) She’s still there to the rescue

It’s rare to find someone who would help someone they don’t like when they’re in trouble. Most of the time, people help out only the people they care about.

So if, say, you find yourself in a crisis and she willingly volunteers her help, then you can rest assured that she’s still interested in you one way or another.

If she wanted nothing to do with you, helping you out would be the last thing on her mind—least of all, the chance that you might think she wants you back!

But here she is nonetheless, and for all her reasons for staying away from you, this is proof enough.

20) Other people can see it clearly

You might be too close to see the whole picture.

Sometimes, someone who isn’t involved can more readily see things that you might have overlooked.

So when someone tells you something like “dude, she’s still into you!” then instead of thinking that they’re just pulling your leg, consider the possibility that you’re just too blind to see.

Perhaps they’ve been hearing about the things she had to say about you, or maybe they caught her staring at you way too often.

And if more than a couple of people tell you about it, well then…it must be true!

21) She looks at you with longing

You feel someone staring holes into you, so you look—and you catch her staring straight at you with longing in her eyes.

She might smile and look away, and you might wonder if you saw what you thought you saw… or she might stare back at you.

There’s nothing more straightforward than this. If you catch a woman looking at you with longing in her eyes, she most definitely misses you.

How to approach her if you still want her back

1) Look back on your relationship

Obviously, something went wrong the last time otherwise you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. But there’s clearly still something between the two of you.

So it’s a good idea to take a look back at your relationship before you even consider getting back together again.

Take the time to reflect on the problems the two of you faced and try to find the major ones.

Ask yourself:

  • What changes should I make to make the relationship work?
  • What changes should she make to make the relationship work?
  • Why did you break up in the first place?
  • Do I see myself with this girl for a long time?
  • Is it worth fixing?

2) Think of what’s best for you

I know you still love her, but you have to prioritize yourself now that you’re broken up.

You can’t keep yourself stuck in the past because you’ll just end up stuck in a toxic, self-destructive relationship

It might feel good in the moment but you’ll just become miserable later down the line.

Think about the future and keep your OWN well-being in mind before deciding to re-enter a relationship with her or anyone else for that matter.

Ask yourself:

  • What are your goals and aspirations?
  • What kind of life do you imagine for yourself ten years from now?
  • Does she have issues with what you want to do in life?
  • Will she be a hindrance to achieving your goals?
  • Was she a good influence on you back when you were together?

3) Get guidance from a relationship coach

You clearly still love one another, and yet your relationship didn’t work out. Perhaps you have no idea why it happened, or maybe you think you’ve figured it out.

But there’s always more going on in the background than what you might perceive at a glance.

That’s why I would recommend getting guidance from a relationship coach.

I talked about Relationship Hero before, and I would talk of them again. They helped me with so much more than just clearing up communication issues.

My coach also helped me realize a bigger reason behind my problems.

And, hey! If they can help me, they can help you too.

Click here to get started.

Last words

Restarting a relationship you’ve ended already is going to be incredibly difficult.

Still, it isn’t impossible and a lot of people have successfully done it before. I certainly have. And while it wasn’t easy, it was well worth it.

You may have to do some introspection and change. You may have to wait for both of you to grow up a bit more before you can be a good fit for one another.

It can be frustrating, sometimes.

But the best things in life require hard work. If you’re both willing to make things work again, that’s a strong start.

Clifton Kopp

Welcome to my writings on Hack Spirit! I'm a bit of a "polymath" in that I like writing about many different things. Often I'm learning from the process of writing. I hope you enjoy, and please leave a comment on one of my articles.

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