You’ve been seeing each other for a while now.
You enjoy spending time with each other but have managed to keep it fairly casual to this point.
You both know you’re not in a committed relationship.
You are both free to see other people at the same time.
While casual relationships always start out fun, they’re not always that easy.
Sometimes, one of you ends up developing feelings and wanting much more than the other person out of the relationship.
So, what are the signs that things have gone past casual and are now entering into relationship material?
How do you know if her feelings have changed and she wants to date you exclusively?
Here are 15 signs to help you out.
15 signs she wants to date you exclusively
1) She’s off the dating apps
Not only has she taken herself off the dating apps, but she’s also leaving you plenty of subtle hints in the hope you’ll follow suit.
Being in a casual relationship means one great thing: you’re free to see other people.
By letting you know that she’s no longer looking or open to other men walking into her life, it’s her way of telling you that she’s only interested in you.
She wants to be exclusive.
If you’re also wanting something more, then the window is wide open for you.
Now’s your chance to climb in and meet her, deleting your dating apps as you go.
Or, leave those dating apps right where they are and send a very clear message back to her. The choice is yours.
2) You’ve met friends and family
Have you met her close friends? What about her family? Has she asked to meet yours?
If all this has gone ahead, then it’s safe to say you have already crossed the line into relationship territory without you even realising it.
Women don’t bring home their casual dates to meet their parents.
Her family have her best interests at heart and aren’t going to sit idly by while she waves around her boy toy on her arm. And she isn’t going to put them through this either.
If you’ve gone home and met those closest to her, it’s because she sees you as much more than a casual date.
She might be a little too nervous to actually speak out and say it, but she is showing you in other ways. This is a very big sign that you might have missed along the way.
If she’s simply spoken about taking you to meet her family, then she’s at the point where she’s dropping the idea into your head.
She wants to see where you stand and whether or not there is the potential to take things further.
The way you answer will determine whether or not you stay in a casual relationship, or it becomes something much more.
3) You’re spending more time together
One good sign she wants to date you exclusively… you suddenly don’t have the time to be seeing anyone else!
That’s because she has been making plans left, right and centre to see you.
The definition of a casual relationship is keeping things casual.
If the dates seem to be ramping up and you’re suddenly seeing a lot more of each other, it’s a good indication of how she feels about you.
She simply doesn’t want you to have time for anyone else.
She also isn’t interested in making time for anyone else either. If she’s even declining invitations from friends to hang out, then read the sign loud and clear.
She wants to make you a bigger part of your life and is showing you that by being around more than ever.
Now’s your chance to jump on board for the ride, or turn this ship around before it’s too late.
4) She’s asking about the future
While she might not be hinting at a future together (just yet), she may have started asking you questions about what you want in life.
Where do you want to live?
How many kids do you want?
What your goals are?
She is basically sussing out whether or not your marriage material. If you’re in a casual relationship, then she’s not going to care where your future is headed. After all, she isn’t planning on being around for it.
But if feelings are starting to develop, then she will first try and decide whether or not the two of you are compatible and want the same things in life.
If you’ve noticed that she has suddenly become a lot more interested in where you see yourself in five to 10 years’ time, it’s a good indication that she is working out whether or not she wants to be right by your side.
5) She’s invested in you
I’m not just talking about investing her time in you (although this is a sign too which we have discussed above). But she has also invested in you financially.
Think of all the things you’ve done together on dates:
If she’s always willing to fork out money to spend time with you, and even financially commit to weekends away and more, then it’s a good sign that she’s looking to be exclusive.
Let’s face it. She’s unlikely to have the financial means to invest in a number of guys. All the time to be heading away on different weekends with them all.
If she simply saw you as a casual partner then her efforts would be fairly minimal. After all, that’s meant to be one of the perks that come with casual dating.
6) She comes to you for help
Whether she asks for your help when it comes to moving house, or confides in out choices she is making for the future, it’s clear you’re her go-to person.
If it were a true casual relationship, she would have plenty of other people she could call on or rely on to help out.
If she is always choosing you, then take it as a sign she sees you as something a little bit more than just as a casual relationship.
She trusts you, which is a fundamental foundation of any relationship and a sign that you have a very strong bond together.
You are the first person her mind jumps to when she’s in trouble and needs help, or simply needs an ear to listen to her.
While she might also have best friends she could go to in these situations, she’s choosing you because you’re an important part of her life.
If you want to take this relationship somewhere, then respond to her calls. She’s already letting you in, it’s your choice whether or not you take her up on the invitation.
7) She’s all for the PDAs
Is she all over you out in public?
Does she throw her arms around you?
If you were just casually dating, she wouldn’t be this free with her feelings around you.
Instead, she’s trying to let others know that you’re hers.
She wants to date you exclusively, and being possessive over you and open with PDAs in public, it’s her way of letting you know.
She isn’t hiding how she feels about you.
In fact, she’s sharing it with the world.
But what if it’s a bit more subtle than that? Some women simply aren’t into the PDAs, no matter how strongly they feel about you.
Look for other, more subtle signs as well.
For example, is she quite happy for people to refer to you as her boyfriend? Does she correct them?
If not, it’s clear she likes the idea of dating you exclusively and is happy to have people thinking that.
Now it’s time for you to work out how you feel about it.
8) She talks about moving in together
Perhaps she has already come out and ask you to move in with her? Or if she can move in with you?
That’s a pretty good sign of what she wants out of this relationship.
Of course, not all signs are that easy to read. While she might not have come out and asked the question yet, she’s could be leaving other signs around that she’s ready for that next step. She wants commitment.
Perhaps she’s been dragging you into her favourite homewares shops and asking for your opinion on household items?
Or maybe she’s been apartment hunting and asking for your opinion on a place?
She’s actively dropping hints about the two of you getting a place together.
While she hasn’t come out and asked you directly, you can guarantee she’s hoping you’ll pick up on her hints and respond.
Or she might eventually work up the courage if it takes you too long.
Many men sit around and wait for the obvious signs. But often, there’s been lots of subtle hints along the way.
Have a think about your relationship and whether or not she might be thinking about moving in with you.
That’s definitely more than just a casual relationship. It’s a straight-out commitment.
9) You’re featured on her socials
It’s one thing to follow each other on social media, but once you start featuring in her posts, you can guarantee it’s a sign that something more is going on – for her.
The simple truth is, girls, don’t post photos of guys on social media unless everyone clearly knows they are just a friend.
Posting a photo of you two together on her social accounts is her way of showing others that you’re taken. Your hers.
She wouldn’t be posting your photo if this relationship was just casual and she didn’t see it going anywhere.
Posting on social media is like making an announcement to the world (your personal world). She wants everyone to see that the two of you are together.
On the other hand, if you’re invisible on her accounts and don’t get a mention once, it’s because she really does consider you a casual relationship. One she isn’t sharing with others and is happy keeping private.
10) You spend the holidays together
Holidays are always the best time of the year. Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day… they’re a time for getting together with those you care about and spending some quality time together.
So, where are you spending your holidays? Together?
Sounds like you’ve already taken that next step towards commitment.
If you’re both choosing each other over everyone else you could be spending these occasions with, then it’s a good sign that you’re both looking for something a little more exclusive.
She’s taking that extra step to be in your life, and if you’re happy spending the day with her, then it seems like you’re more than happy with her decision.
11) She leaves things at your place
Have you noticed that more and more of her belongings are creeping their way into your home?
Perhaps there’s a toothbrush in the bathroom?
A spare bra or undies waiting for her in one of your drawers?
Her favourite tea set up in your kitchen?
She’s starting to make herself at home, which is a sign she plans on spending more time at your place.
If she was after a casual relationship, she wouldn’t be interested in leaving bits and pieces behind. It would be a much more ‘no strings attach approach’.
If you have seen her things working their way into your place, then take it as a sign that she’s looking for something a little more serious.
Sure, it’s convenient for her. But more than that, she’s marking her territory in your place.
She doesn’t want other women to be there. She wants you to be thinking about her even while she’s not there, which she is making possible by leaving these small things,
She’s not going anywhere.
She’s here to stay.
12) She remembers the little things
There’s no doubt you’ve spent plenty of time together just talking.
Even in casual relationships, you still form a strong bond and get to know each other (otherwise it’s just sex). Whether you’re going on dates and sharing information with each other, or cuddling together on the couch watching TV. Conversations are natural.
But, does she remember these little details?
The way you like your coffee.
How you got that scare in childhood.
Where you see yourself in five years’ time.
Your favourite toy as a child.
She remembers these things because she has strong feelings for you. She cares. She sees these details as important, simply because they are important to you.
If she wasn’t interested in your romantically, then she wouldn’t care less about these smaller details. She might listen at the time but would then forget.
Because it’s not important to her.
You’re not important to her.
At least not in that way.
If you notice she has been remembering those smaller details, it’s a great sign that she cares deeply about you.
She’s a keeper.
13) She shares personal gifts
Think about the types of gifts she has bought you.
Does she always remember your birthday? Does she mark special occasions with a present?
For a casual relationship, this already says a lot. She’s going out of her way to think of you on important days and wants to show you she cares.
It’s an even bigger sign if those gifts are very personal.
Has she remembered your favourite cologne? Has she bought you something that has meaning?
Has she made you something herself?
These are all signs that she cares for you and wants to show it.
Casual relationships usually mean a lot less effort. You can go your own ways on special occasions and won’t get in trouble if you forget a birthday or other important event.
The fact that she not only remembers but also wants to mark them, shows she wants something more out of this relationship.
14) She tells you
Men are great at missing what’s right in front of them.
There’s a good chance she has come out and told you that she wants a relationship and you’ve simply missed it.
Has she ever mentioned jumping into something more serious?
Has she talked about a future with you?
Has she openly asked you to be exclusive?
Perhaps you were out on a date together and you simply didn’t know how to respond at the time. It can be confronting and might take you by surprise if it’s something you weren’t expecting. Which is completely fine.
But you will have to bring it up again at some point, so it’s worth deciding how you feel and what you want out of the relationship now.
If she’s at the stage of telling you that she wants something more out of this relationship, then it’s a sign that she’s ready to get more serious now.
She doesn’t want to wait around any longer to see if you change your mind.
And she isn’t interested in sticking around in a casual relationship anymore.
She’s telling you for the simple fact that she’s looking for an answer.
15) She drops the L bomb
If she suddenly bursts out the words, “I love you”, then you can safely assume things are getting serious.
It’s quite possible that you have missed a number of the signs above that she’s looking for something more with you, and her feelings have developed into something real in that time.
Just because you didn’t feel comfortable saying it back at the moment, doesn’t mean you don’t share the feelings. It’s likely you were just taken by surprise.
When it comes to signs of whether or not she wants a serious relationship, this is a pretty big one.
By uttering those words, she put herself on the line, which means she obviously cares about you a lot and considers you worth the risk.
It’s now your chance to respond and dive into the relationship, or pull back and let her know the feelings aren’t mutual. Either way, a casual relationship is definitely not an option anymore.
Now that you know she wants to date you exclusively, what do you do with these signs?
You have a decision to make. And it’s one you should be made sooner rather than later.
Do you see a future with her?
Do you want to see whether or not your relationship has a chance?
If she’s been dropping signs to you then it means that the ball is now in your court. She has been dropping these signs to let you know exactly how she feels, without coming out with the words directly.
It’s her way of opening up the conversation and testing the waters to see how you respond.
She’s putting herself on the line by showing you how she feels, so now it’s time for you to reciprocate. No matter how you feel, it’s time to let her know where she stands.
If you’re interested, then now’s your chance to respond to one of the signs she has been giving you and let her know that you want the same thing.
She has already opened the window for you to let you in, it’s now up to you whether or not you take the plunge and see where it might take the two of you.
If you’re not interested and only want to keep things casual, then it’s time to let her know.
It’s not fair to lead her on in a casual relationship, knowing she wants more than that.
Her feelings will only get stronger, making it even harder when she discovers that you aren’t interested in her that way. It’s not fair on her, and it’s not something you want either.
Now is your chance to work out your feelings and decide what you want.
Do you take the plunge and see where this relationship takes you?
Remember, while casual relationships are great, so is true love. So don’t let it pass you by!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.