Friendship is honestly amazing. What could be better than having someone you can lean on in the tough times and celebrate with in the good times?
Friendship is special, and sometimes it can last a lifetime, and it doesn’t need to be romantic even when it’s between two attractive individuals.
When a man and a woman are friends the bond can be deep and true.
From enjoying activities together to close conversations and sharing life advice, the friendship weathers almost every storm that life throws at it.
The hurdle that many friendships can’t cross is when one of you has feelings for the other – but both people aren’t feeling it. The awkwardness and disappointment can sink even a long, cherished friendship.
It can also cause guys who may like their female friend as more than “just a friend” to hesitate on opening up to her about their romantic feelings, afraid that doing so will torpedo their valued platonic connection.
This guide is here for you.
26 signs that she likes you as more than a friend:
1) Read her body language
This doesn’t mean anything creepy like some complex Enigma code that involves analyzing her panties. It just means paying attention to how she moves and orients herself.
Does she twirl her hair, point her feet in your direction, have a flush in her cheeks and sometimes choke on her words a bit?
These are all potential signs that she’s attracted to you (or just ate too many Doritos). Either way, body language is powerful.
If she likes you and you’re observant, you’ll notice.
2) She responds to your body language
The other side to the coin is how she responds to your own body language.
While most guys focus on what they’re saying to a girl, few pay enough attention to their body language.
And this is a big mistake.
Because women are highly tuned into the signals a man’s body is giving off. And if your body language is giving off the right signals, she’ll more likely than not respond with an emphatic ‘yes’ to you.
Let’s face it: Being good looking and in shape can be helpful when it comes to women.
However, much more important is the signals you convey to them. Because it doesn’t matter what you look like or how wealthy you are…
…if you’re short, fat, bald, or stupid.
Any man can learn some simple body language techniques that force women to see you as more than a friend.
Kate’s a relationship expert who helped me improve my own body language around women.
In this free video, she gives you several body language techniques like this guaranteed to help you better attract women.
3) She’s nervous around you for no reason
Obviously, she could be nervous for a reason you aren’t aware of, too, but if she seems to be nervous around you for no reason in a giddy, excited kind of way then you might be on more than just her friend radar.
What used to be a relaxing day at the park has become her laughing awkwardly and catching her breath when you turn to look at her.
She giggles nervously and touches your arm when you make a joke in a way that a girl would who has romantic feelings.
These are big signs. She wouldn’t be nervous around you if you were just a friend.
4) She butters you up
If she’s hitting you with thoughtful compliments left and right you could be ready to hop aboard Steampship Sexytime. Or she could be just a good friend who wants to boost you up.
How to tell the difference?
If she’s complimenting you on your appearance and everyday actions you do for her then she’s indicating clear romantic interest.
If she just uses the “atta boy” tone it’s a friend compliment.
I’ll trust you to be able to tell the difference.
5) She showers you with flirtatious attention, then withdraws
In other words, she plays hot and cold, going after you hard one day with all sorts of flirtatious behavior and then pulling back cooly and acting like just a casual friend the next day.
You start to think you did something wrong or p*ssed her off.
But no, you’re just along for the rollicking ride on the Love Loop rollercoaster.
What should you do?
Be interested, but stay cool. Don’t be an overeager Evan (no offense to any Evans in the crowd) and jump at any romantic attention she gives you, as that will lower your value in her eyes.
The best thing you can do is to pull away a bit yourself.
It’s a psychological fact that when we fear we’re going to lose something, we want it 10x more.
This is where “nice guys” get it so wrong. Women have no “fear of loss” with a nice guy… and that makes them pretty unattractive.
If you want your girl to become obsessed with you, then check out this excellent free video.
What you’ll learn in this video isn’t exactly pretty — but neither is love.
6) She’s focused on you and touches you a lot
If your female friend touches you a lot and always seems to talk to you even when you’re in a group then she is probably into you.
And she may want to turn your relationship from best friends to lovers.
She may often bump your arm or side by mistake.
Or slide up closer to you when you sit on a bench or in the car.
She might even rest her head on your shoulder now and then. Ding ding, you have just won the love lottery. Stroke her hair and return the favor.
7) She’s dressed to the nines (with you in mind)
Your female friend may have a high sense of style normally, but if you notice she’s been dressed to the nines lately then there’s a good chance she has you in mind.
When you come to the door or pick her up and you can tell she’s chosen an extra-sexy top or hip-hugging jeans that get your mojo going … it’s probably not in your imagination.
Don’t read too far into this tip, though. A woman has every right to look amazing without inviting her friend to hit on her.
But combined together with the other tips in this list it’s a definite sign.
8) Her schedule is busy, but it always seems open for you
If your friend is busy but always seems to have time for you it could be a sign that you’ve crossed the bridge from Friendship Field onto Romance Road.
She may just want to spend more time with you because you’re a good pal.
But there’s a good possibility it’s because she’s starting to crave your presence and attention in more than just a friendly way.
Does she text you up out of the blue to meet up? Want to know what you’re doing frequently? Prioritize seeing you on her busy schedule?
Just friends may be going out the window, friend.
9) She’s your biggest backer
Whether you’re having an issue at work or a fight with your friends, this girl has your back.
She sticks up for you passionately and really seems to see your side, even on complicated, emotional issues.
She’s your biggest cheerleader and she fights like a lion for your interests. It’s kind of heartwarming.
And it’s also the behavior of a woman in love.
10) She teases you in a playful, flirtatious way
A girl knows how to show that she’s attracted.
And if you’re smart you’ll know how to read her signals. Like this one.
11) She tries to get your attention much more than a friend would
One of the most common things people do when they like someone is try to get their attention.
Sometimes they overdo it and drive away the object of their affection, but other times it works and the person realizes they are the recipient of a crush.
If you want to be that person then open your eyes.
Is she seeking your attention, brushing a bit closer to you when she passes by, giving you flirtatious, meaningful looks?
Does she ask you lots of questions and frequently try to get you involved? She’s probably head over heels for you.
12) She looks dazed and confused
She can’t seem to concentrate – especially around you – and she looks dazed and confused in general.
Her head (heart) is in the clouds and she seems happy but unfocused.
The barista has to say her name twice at the cafe when her Pumpkin Spice Latte is ready because she’s dreamily staring at you.
Come on, my friend, she wants to be more than friends.
13) She hovers on your social networks like crazy
If she’s into you she’s going to be following everything you post on social networks like a hawk.
Liking, loving, clicking, commenting, mentioning in conversation: that’ll be her.
She might approach the level of borderline stalker, and if it makes you feel you need a bit of virtual space don’t be afraid to tell her. But otherwise, soak up the attention and let the posts and photos fly (don’t try to make her intentionally jealous by posting you with other girls, though, that’s just immature and passive-aggressive).
Especially if you post a photo of you and her she’ll do everything she can to amplify and share it online and talk to you about it a lot.
“That was such a great photo, wasn’t it? Best day ever.”
It could be even better once she’s your girlfriend.
14) Her face looks different
I mean literally different. As in she’s wearing extra or different make-up.
She’s doing what a lot of girls do when they are into a guy: trying to catch his attention and heart with that subtle shade of new eye shadow, that extra rouge on her cheeks.
Is it working?
Well the first step is to notice. She likely didn’t touch up her mascara for 45 minutes before your “friend date” to watch the latest Will Ferrell movie just because you’re such a good buddy.
Take a hint.
15) You have suddenly become a world-famous comedian (in her eyes)
She is laughing at your jokes like you are now a world-famous comedian. She is slapping her knees and howling.
She chuckles at even the stupidest jokes you make, ones that even you wouldn’t laugh at.
What’s going on?
Well, indications are that romance is beginning to bloom and there’s just a chance that she wants to tickle more than your funny bone.
If you feel the same then sit back and bask in the appreciation. You’re a funny man, man (to her).
16) She’s twirling her hair with stars in her eyes
Playing with her hair, like I mentioned above, can be a big one. It indicates a bit of nervousness and potential romantic interest.
When she’s looking at you try to notice if she tugs and twists just a little bit extra.
That’s a sign of you pulling at her heartstrings and the depths of her desire welling up inside her.
Plus, doesn’t her hair look amazing in the September sun? Winning.
17) She wants to intensify the friendship
This sign can be a bit disorienting because it’s easy to misinterpret.
Sometimes your female friend will want to deepen and intensify your existing friendship. She won’t “make a move” or tell you she’s into you, but she’ll seek you out more often, want to have deeper conversations and want to get your opinion on everything.
There are various reasons for this, but a common one is that she wants to be a couple with you but she’s doing it by just trying to push the accelerator on the friendship until it automatically gears up into love.
Sometimes it works, so don’t be afraid to join her as a co-pilot and let her know how you feel.
18) She’s blowing up your phone
When she’s into you as more than a friend she will blow up your phone.
With texts, with calls, with game invites – you name it.
She’ll say good morning and good night with cute little wink faces all over and she’ll lavish attention on you like the Sultan of Siam.
Is this friend behavior or something a little next level?
Well, think about it. When you text a girl constantly and want her approval and attention is it because you feel extra friendly toward her? Probably not.
19) She avoids eye contact or acts weird when she makes eye contact
Eye contact is one of the keys to romance. Sort of the starting ignition to the engine of love.
When she’s having feelings for you that are more than just friend vibes she may be uncomfortable looking you in the eye for long.
Or giggle nervously when she does.
Or make eye contact and draw in her breath sharply in a weird way and then laugh it off as a cough or something.
The opposite is true if she’s accepted her feelings for you and wants to see if you feel the same, in which case she will seek out prolonged eye contact to see if you’re on board the love train as well.
20) She becomes protective of you and shoos other women away
If she’s into you beyond the friend level you may notice signs of protectiveness and jealousy.
When you tell her about another girl she’ll laugh in a way that tries to be easygoing but isn’t. You’ll be able to tell.
When other girls are hanging out with you in public she’ll pull you aside and get your attention, she’ll want to have heart-to-hearts with you all the time.
You might even notice her casting less-than-pleased glances at the women taking up your space, lighting up like a glowing goddess when you turn her way and deflating when you give your time and energy to other girls.
This gal is trying to stake her claim, you can be sure of it.
21) Read her lips
If she’s licking her lips and touching them often or even puckering them a lot with that new fetching shade of makeup she’s probably either preparing for a date with a guy she’s really into or she’s on it now (with you).
Lips are a very erogenous zone (hello, kissing) and when she is biting, licking and doing a lot with her lips it is quite possibly because she wants to be feeling your lips on hers.
22) She blanks you out
Wait, is this a typo? I know, I just wrote how she’ll shower you with attention, texts and all sorts of affection if she’s into you.
But sometimes your friend will also blank you out and ignore you. She’ll even do intentionally annoying things or “pout” in various ways.
What’s the deal?
Chances are she’s throwing a little protest and seeing if you’ll notice. Because she wants more: she wants your love.
23) She becomes your dating coach
If your female friend is suddenly super curious about your love life and trying to decipher your dating life and give you all sorts of romantic advice it’s a classic sign that she’s into you.
Haven’t you seen any 1980s romantic comedies?
She coaches you about what’s no working out and why you’re not finding the right girl for you until – surprise, surprise – one moonlit night she plants a devastating kiss right on your lips.
You’ve been warned.
24) She can’t fight the feeling anymore
Reo Speedwagon sang about it, and she’s experiencing it. She just can’t fight the feeling anymore.
She’s a fool in love and when she’s around your mutual friends or in a group she behaves exactly how a woman with a big crush would behave.
She makes puppy eyes over you, brushes your arm, talks about you, asks your opinions. She’s you, you, you, whenever you’re out.
Ask her out already.
25) She uses an emissary
If she’s shy or feels unsure about how you might respond, a female friend who likes you may use an emissary.
What I mean by this is that you will be minding your own sweet business one day when a friend of hers messages, calls you up or “bumps into you” outside work or in a place you often go.
She’ll ask you what you think about your friend, she might ask if you think you could have romantic feelings for your friend?
It’s best to be completely honest. This is basically your friend telling you “hey, I really like you and I’m using my friend to ask if you feel the same.”
26) She has a Ph. D in everything about you
When your friend is into you she will become an expert on you.
Did you comb your hair differently, buy a new t-shirt, play a new style of music in the car?
She’ll notice, comment and compliment. She will seem to know more about your life and its details than even you do.
She wants to shift into love gear, you can bank on that.
Now if you’ve decided that she does like your more than a friend, then you’ve got some thinking to do.
Below we’ll go over what you can do if she comes out and says she likes you.
If you’re reading this, chances are this girl is someone you’re pretty interested in too, so your next move is important.
You neither want to scare her off nor make her think you don’t care — both of which can happen if you don’t tread carefully.
I’ll give you 5 key tips for handling what to do if a girl says she likes you. Use these to present just the right amount of confidence, charm, and attention.
What do if she says she likes you? 5 important tips
1. Hold back from showing too much interest.
There’s a bizarre thing going on with women. While they all profess to want men who fawn over them and give them endless attention, they actually want a challenge.
They want you to play hard to get. To them, it’s hot.
Trust me, I’m a woman, and I know. It’s how I feel. It’s also how all my girlfriends feel.
As soon as a guy starts showing too much interest, it becomes boring.
When women go out for the evening, we primp and preen the perfect amounts to prepare ourselves to flirt with guys. We know what men want, and we know exactly how to get those same men to follow us around like a little lost dog.
But we don’t want easy.
For this reason, you should take the phrase “I like you” with a grain of salt. See it as a challenge. She’s basically wearing her heart on her sleeve, but she doesn’t necessarily want you to wear your heart on yours.
You need to be a bit stand-offish. But at the same time, you need to remain just interested enough so that she doesn’t lose hope with you.
2. Use confidence to make her want you.
Worried about your crooked smile? Concerned you wore too much cologne? Not sure if she digs your outfit? Wish you weighed about 10 lbs. less?
Perhaps you’re insecure about your job or worried your car or apartment isn’t nice enough for her.
Forget all of this.
Sure, you need to have good general hygiene. But all you really need to attract her is confidence.
You’ve probably heard this a million times before: “Confidence is key.” “All that really matters is confidence.”
But have you actually internalized it? Do you actually know what it really means?
This is the point: The men who have the most confidence, and are therefore the most attractive to women, do not have the nicest cars, the coolest apartments, or the best jobs. They probably have some physical flaws, and they may even be a bit overweight.
None of this stuff matters to women.
What matters is how you feel about yourself. When it comes to confidence, most men fail because they think that no one can tell how you feel about yourself. It’s internal, right?
It’s obvious when someone lacks self-esteem. They have it written all over themselves — in how they dress, walk, talk, smile, and laugh.
Don’t be the guy who doesn’t have confidence. There’s no way you’ll get anywhere with this girl if you can’t harness your own self-worth.
3. Stay away from the friend zone.
I’ll only say this once: If you’re not already “friends,” do not enter the friend zone.
While it occasionally may happen that friends can move on to become romantic partners, you can usually think of friendship as a dead-end street when it comes to sex and real relationships.
This is usually what happens:
- You think that taking the strong male lead and ushering her into a romantic relationship is rude.
- “Making a move” seems pushy to you.
- You want things to “progress naturally.”
Well, I’ve got news for you: It ain’t gonna happen that way.
You and only you are going to turn this acquaintance into a sexual relationship. If you don’t keep up the sexual tension and flirtation in this connection, she’s going to start thinking of you as a friend only.
4. Use these tricks to build sexual excitement and tension.
You’re the man. It’s up to you to create and continue sexual tension in this connection. Do these small flirtatious things that pique her sexual interest:
- Touch her arm or hand as you talk together
- Touch her hand
- Wink at her
- Buy her drinks
- Open the door for her
- Help her down from a stool or across a puddle by taking her hand
- Tell her she looks great in her [dress/blouse/heels]
You also want to play to her inner female arousal center. This is an innate need that women have to beat out the competition and win the best male. Women are extremely competitive.
You need to be the best male, so that she can “win” you. And to do that, you need to set up situations in which other women appear to want you.
You can do this in these ways:
- Be in places where you know a few women (work, a restaurant, etc.) and she can see you interacting with them.
- Don’t avoid interacting with other women because you don’t want to send mixed signals. She wants to see you lightly flirting with other women because it turns her on.
- Tell brief stories about other women — female friends. Something like “I had coffee with my friend Stacy over the weekend, and …”
Do all of these things while continuing with the small flirtations that will arouse her (touching her arm, winking at her, etc.)
5. Be direct.
Whatever you do, don’t beat around the bush.
You will absolutely lose this girl if you don’t act now. Imagine being in her situation: You’ve just told a girl you like her, and now she’s hot and cold, and it’s hard to tell if she’s even sexually interested in you at all.
No one wants that.
Be forthright in letting her know that you are interested too. If you don’t do this, she’s going to move on to someone else and either put you in the friend zone or drop you altogether.
Strike while the iron is hot. The iron is hot now.
How to Respond When a Girl Says She Likes You Over Text
If a girl say she likes you over text, it usually means she’s a bit shy because she was unable to tell you in person.
There are a few key things to keep in mind with “I like you” texts:
Late night weekend texts
If she’s texting you that she likes you at 1:30am on a Saturday night, you can probably assume she’s out having a good time with friends and perhaps enjoying a few drinks. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. They don’t call it “liquid courage” for nothing, after all.
It’s possible she’s been discussing you with her girlfriends. Either she or they came up with the grand idea to text you. In the world of girls, this is good. Use the tips above to respond, but be a bit more playful as that’s what she’s wanting.
An “I like you” text after you’ve been texting back and forth for a long time
This of course means she’s really into you and wants to move forward. She’s enjoyed flirting with you, and she wants to take things to the next level. Use the tips above to respond.
An “I like you” text out of the blue from a good friend
This one’s a bit trickier. Sometimes an old friend who’s always been platonic will finally decide they’ve waited long enough and will confess their love (like) to you.
When this happens, use the tips above, but remember that this is a friendship you value. If you decide to create a romantic relationship, therefore, go slowly so that you don’t ruin the friendship.
Be the Leading Man in Your Story
Having a girl tell you she likes you should feel exciting. Even if you don’t have the same feelings for her, you should feel good that someone is going out on a limb and professing their interest in you.
But now the next move is up to you.
That first kiss is right around the corner, and you definitely don’t want to miss it.
Friendship is valuable and deep friendship can be rare. Nonetheless, if you’re feeling romantically about your female friend it is best to be sincere about how you feel and open. Even if she doesn’t feel the same she will respect that you’ve opened up to her and been brave about it.
The truth is that love is psychological and if you want her to love you then you need to play the game a little.
Something a little sneaky, but extremely effective, is to add a bit of ambiguity to your relationship. Girls love drama, so sometimes act (a little) cold or distant and message her (a little) less than you usually do.
It’s a psychological fact that when we fear we’re going to lose something, we want it 10x more.
Humans hate losing shit. And when it comes to love, women are absolutely no exception.
I learnt this from my favorite relationship expert, Bobbi Rio.
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