10 unfortunate signs she is thinking about leaving you (and what to do about it)

Are you worried your girlfriend wants to leave you?

These unfortunate 10 signs will confirm it’s likely that’s where her head is at.

Learn how to make her stay before it’s too late.

1) She’s no longer vulnerable

In my current relationship, I know that being vulnerable is what makes us feel so close.

My partner and I don’t hold back on sharing things with one another, and we put our feelings and vulnerabilities on the table.

We’re aware of one another’s insecurities: there’s no hiding.

For example, I tell him if I’ve been triggered by something he’s done, I tell him if I’m comparing myself to someone else, and I tell him that I’m feeling doubtful about myself.

He hears it all and doesn’t flinch.

Simply put: I don’t hold back from telling him things about my inner world as I don’t fear his judgment.

I want him to know what is going on with me, so he’s connected with the real me… and not just the version of me I want him to see.

Now, being open with a partner is a sign of a healthy relationship… it’s what we should all be striving for.

Brides magazine explains:

“A cornerstone of happy, healthy ​relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.”

This should be your goal post for communication.

You might have had this once with your partner, but feel like this is lacking now.

Before you start worrying that she’s thinking about leaving you, ask yourself whether you have also been less vulnerable with her?

Maybe it’s a two-way thing.

But if your partner is suddenly closed off, without any explanation, it’s a sign that she could be thinking about leaving you.

Asking yourself a few questions will help you get clearer on whether you feel like she has been shutting down, and the role you’ve played in this.

I suggest getting out a journal to work through your thoughts.

First of all, think about the possible changes in her, asking yourself:

  • Did she used to confide in me and now she’s not?
  • When was the last time she told me how she was really feeling?
  • What has changed for her recently?

Now, flip it around and think about yourself the changes within you:

  • Did I used to confide in her and now I’m not?
  • When was the last time I told her how I was really feeling?
  • What has changed for me recently?

By thinking about these questions, you’ll be bringing honest inquiry to the situation and you can start to get more clarity on what to do.

2) Her behavior is suddenly different

Whenever our partners behave slightly differently, it can trigger us.

Depending on your attachment style, you might fear for the worst.

If you’re more anxious, you might fear that your partner is pulling away if their behavior is slightly different.

You know your partner best, but you might not know why they’re suddenly acting differently.

Simply put: there might be numerous reasons for their change in behavior, including stress at work, so don’t expect the worst.

In a recent Ideapod article, Nguyet Yen Tran explains there are a few things to do in order to figure out what is going on with your partner.

They suggest listening to your partner – not interrupting them and seeing if she is seeking to express herself. When your partner is talking, don’t take things personally and let them speak their mind.

If you fail to let them speak, they explain, it may make your partner feel like there is nowhere for her to turn.

Next, try and find common ground. “Find a way to bring the two of you closer, such as talking about your shared interests and hobbies,” they explain.

And appreciate what she does say when she expresses herself – even if it’s not quite what you would have liked to hear.

This brings me to wondering:

Have you ever asked yourself why love is so hard?

Why can’t it be how you imagined growing up? Or at least make some sense…

When you’re dealing with feeling disconnected to your partner, it’s easy to become frustrated and even feel helpless. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.

I want to suggest doing something different.

It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.

In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the way of meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.

As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.

We get stuck in awful relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel unsettled in our relationships.

We fall in love with an ideal version of someone instead of the real person.

We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.

We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad.

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective.

While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture love for the first time – and finally offered an actual, practical solution figuring out whether my partner was the person I was supposed to be with.

If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty hookups, frustrating relationships and having your hopes dashed over and over, then this is a message you need to hear.

I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

Click here to watch the free video.

3) She no longer wants to do the things you used to do

Earlier, I spoke about finding common ground and talking about your shared interests.

But, do you feel like your partner no longer wants to do the things she used to do?

Before you jump to thinking that’s the case, make a list of the things you actually used to do together.

For example, mine would look a little something like:

  • Go out cycling
  • Cook together
  • Watch films at home and head to the cinema
  • Read books
  • Meditate together

Make a list of five things you used to enjoy doing with your partner and think back to the last time you did them together.

Now, think about how reflecting on them makes you feel…

Do you wish you two could spend time doing some of these things again?

If the answer is yes, the best thing you can do is to tell her how you feel and to see what her response is.

On the other hand, you’ll just be none the wiser about whether she feels the same if you don’t speak to her.

You never know… maybe she feels like you don’t want to do them either.

Don’t try to be a mind reader and assume you know what she’s thinking!

Instead, communicating is the best thing you can do.

4) She avoids talking about the future

I’m going to bring up my relationship again, as I’m sharing from the perspective of a couple who are in a relationship that we continue to keep building on.

My partner and I don’t shy away from making future plans.

We’re not afraid of talking about what we’d like from our future together.

For example, we’ve expressed that we’d like to live with each other at the end of next year if things continue going well and we successfully communicate, as this is an area we’ve struggled in from time-to-time.

We’ve also spoken about how we can fit into each other’s lives if our work takes us to other cities.

Basically, we’re planning our futures with one another in the frame. We see our lives featuring one another.

That’s not to say we’re not present with our relationship in the moment, we just also have one eye on the future and what we want.

And when we have these conversations, we both feel comfortable and at ease looking so far into the future.

Now, if you and your partner aren’t talking about the future and you notice she actually gets uncomfortable when you bring it up, it could be an unfortunate sign that she’s thinking about leaving you.

She just might not see a future between you two.

But here’s the thing: have you communicated what you see for your future together?

By expressing your desires to her, you might find she’s on the same page as you… and this might make you both feel more settled in the relationship.

Again, it comes back to not assuming and communicating.

5) You feel like she’s being more secretive

If your partner never was a particularly secretive person and things have suddenly changed, I understand why you might fear something serious is up.

Perhaps they used to leave their phone lying around and now it’s never out of their sight. For example, maybe they’ve suddenly started taking it in the bathroom with them so it’s never unattended.

But don’t fall into the trap of assuming they’re thinking of leaving you or that they’ve even seeing someone else straight away.

There might be a valid reason their behavior, which you won’t know about unless you ask them.

It could be:

  • An increase in their work load
  • A family issue they haven’t told you about
  • They’re planning a surprise for you and don’t want you to find out

It literally could be so many things, so don’t automatically think the worst.

The best thing you can do is to approach the conversation from a non-confrontal place and bring up that you’ve noticed a change.

Rather than saying statements such as: “you’re being different” or “your behavior is odd”, why not use phrases like “I just want to check there’s nothing up”?

This will highlight to your partner that you’re aware of their behavior and, if there’s nothing up, they can be more mindful, so they don’t put you on edge.

6) She wants you to change

It’s true, your partner should accept you for the person you are today.

While you two should want to grow together and you likely hold visions of what your future selves look like, you should be happy in the moment.

This goes for how she feels about you and how you feel about you.

On the other hand… If you feel like she’s trying to change you, it could be a sign that your relationship isn’t heading in a good direction.

Unfortunately, it could be a sign she is planning on leaving you.

When it comes to trying to figure out whether she’s trying to change you or not, there are a few things to consider:

  • Does she comment on the way you dress and say she’d like you to dress differently?
  • Does she ask why you like certain things and suggest alternatives rather than taking an interest?
  • Does she ask why you hang out with certain friends and want you to not see them?

I mentioned earlier how the help of a gifted advisor can reveal the truth about whether she’s thinking like this.

You could analyze the signs until you reach the conclusion you’re looking for, but getting guidance from someone with extra intuition will give you real clarity on the situation.

I know from experience how helpful it can be. When I was going through a similar problem to you, they gave me the guidance I sorely needed.

Click here to get your own love reading.

7) You two haven’t been intimate in a while

Are you craving intimacy with your partner, but noticing she’s distant and doesn’t want to jump your bones like she used to?

Maybe you’ve tried to instigate it but she’s not been interested?

Now, I wouldn’t read into it too much if it’s just once or twice – your partner might just not be in the mood.

But if it’s happening a lot, keep a note of these experiences so you can see the pattern and bring it up to her.

Unfortunately, it could be a sign that your partner is thinking of leaving you.

Nguyet Yen Tran explains:

“If the two of you are not having sex as often as you once did, it could be a sign that he has lost interest or desire to pursue physical contact with you.”

If this is the case, there are numerous ways you two can resurrect passion in the bedroom.

It starts with a willingness and open communication, plus you could involve a relationship counsellor to help you talk things through. As you two become closer and more vulnerable with one another again, it will naturally lead to more intimacy.

8) She isn’t respecting you

Do you feel like your partner isn’t truly respecting you?

You might feel this in you gut; like something about their behavior makes you feel disrespected.

Disrespect can take many forms. It could be that they often flirt with other men in front of you or they throw painful insults at you when you two argue.

It could be anything that makes you feel less than good.

Even if you feel like you and your partner are a great match, you need to look closely at whether they’re exhibiting these traits.

If they are, it could be a sign that they’re not the right person for you… and that they’re planning on leaving you.

Remember, you deserve to be treated like equals in a relationship and made to feel empowered!

Don’t settle for anything less than this… Focus on raising your self-worth.

Begin with yourself. Stop searching for external fixes to sort out your life, deep down, you know this isn’t working.

And that’s because until you look within and unleash your personal power, you’ll never find the satisfaction and fulfillment you’re searching for.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. His life mission is to help people restore balance to their lives and unlock their creativity and potential. He has an incredible approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist.

In his excellent free video, Rudá explains effective methods to stepping into your personal power.

So if you want to build a better relationship with yourself, unlock your endless potential, and put passion at the heart of everything you do, start now by checking out his genuine advice.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

9) She’s gone quiet

If your partner is shutting down, it could be a sign that they’re having second thoughts about the relationship.

This goes back to what I was saying earlier about vulnerability: it’s healthy to have openess with your partner.

…If you lose that then it will feel like there’s distance between you two, which isn’t a nice place to be.

It’s improtant to address this, as it will only grow over time.

Have you noticed that your partner is quieter than usual and not wanting to chat like she used to?

To make to sure it’s not a sign that she’s thinking about leaving you, talk to her about how you’re feeling in a calm environment.

And remember not to be confrontational!

10) She’s blaming you for everything

In a healthy relationship, you both need to take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

For example, it’s not your partner’s fault that you had a bad day or that you didn’t get that job…  You are responsible for your own happiness and successes.

While it’s easier to blame things on someone else, like not getting a job because you had a fight with them on the day of the interview, it’s not the right way to handle things.

So… if your partner is suddenly pointing the finger at you whenever anything goes wrong and she’s living in victimhood, it could be that she’s thinking about leaving you.

In her mind, she might see you as the issue.

Nguyet Yen Tran explains:

“This coul be a sign of anxiety if everything else has been going well for both of you since the beginning of your relationship and suddenly everything turns sour.”

By now, you know what I’m going to suggest… an honest conversation will help you get to the bottom of this, so you can see where it’s coming from and how to resolve it.

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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