Do you sometimes feel like you’re never kind enough or generous enough? Or that you’re actually a bad person to the core?
I do. Very often. And it makes me curl into a ball and question my existence.
If you can relate, please, please, please be kind to yourself.
You may not be an angel, but if you have at least half of the traits in this list, then trust me— you’re a truly good person at heart.
1. You look for the goodness in others
You may be a bit critical or cynical…and you may have a few enemies, but you always find something good in others.
You don’t think people are generally malicious or evil, so as much as possible, you search and focus on what’s good in them instead of what’s bad.
If you pass by a grumpy old man picking up trash on the sidewalk, you focus on his good deed (picking up trash) instead of his grumpiness. You are also mature enough to know that one’s mood doesn’t make one necessarily good or bad.
2. You’re VERY aware that you’re imperfect
You’re humble enough to know that you have a million flaws. And because of this, you’re much kinder and gentler to others.
In fact, this could be the very reason you’re doubting yourself and reading this article—you know you’re flawed and that you can do better.
By being open to the fact that you could be wrong or that you could be the one at fault, it makes you more forgiving of others. It also allows you to grow and improve…which is very important if you want to be good!
Even if you commit mistakes and hurt people (we all do despite our best efforts), if you have this trait, you’re actually a good person at heart.
3. You’re willing to sacrifice for others
You’re so busy but when someone needs you, you try to help them as much as possible.
You don’t just check out and say “Sorry, I got my own problems, too” and say bye. You know you have a moral responsibility to others.
If you’re rushing to go to work and you see an old lady struggling to carry her groceries, you help.
If you’re too excited to clock out at work but your colleague is struggling with something, you’d stay a few minutes longer to help…even if you have a date in an hour.
Most people have plenty of excuses not to help. They’re too focused on themselves to even look at other people. But not you.
4. You’re willing to make things work
Whether it be in your career or relationships, you’re willing to put in the effort to make things better.
You don’t just leave when things get rough. You don’t just burn bridges or set strict boundaries when things get a little “toxic”.
Sure, the stress makes you complain and do some things you’re not proud of, but you don’t give up…you don’t quit easily. You’re willing to give plenty of chances because you know it will be worth it in the end.
You stay and do whatever it takes to make things better because you believe that true commitment is necessary for anything worthwhile.
5. You’re willing to listen to the other side of the story
You’re a good person at heart if you’re willing to truly understand other people—especially those whose values and ideas are totally opposite yours.
Now it might seem too basic, but it’s one of the hardest things to do.
As we get older, our principles, opinions, and tastes get solidified. We’re more educated but also, we’re less flexible. We think we know enough about how the world works so we stick to what we believe in.
But if you’re a truly good person, you’d shush your mind for a second and actually pay attention to what the other person is saying. And while they’re talking, you don’t just try to understand their point of view, you try to understand them as people.
You ask yourself “Why do they think this way?”, “How can I understand them better even if I don’t necessarily agree with what they’re saying?”
6. You’re not quick to judge others
This is similar to the one above except that it goes beyond talk.
You don’t judge others by their actions, their friends, how they dress, and even how they think.
Sure, it’s sometimes impossible for us not to have an “impression” on people—to not put them in a box—but you try with all your might not to.
You don’t say “Bah, teenagers these days are so entitled” or “Men just want sex” or “Poor people are lazy.”
You know nothing is ever black and white. And so, no matter how tempting it is for you to judge (because you’re a very observant person), you say to yourself “Hey, you don’t know the whole story, so don’t judge.”
7. You say sorry if you hurt someone
You don’t hurt people intentionally but even if you know you’re not the one at fault, you say sorry anyway.
You’re not being a doormat. You simply acknowledge the fact that you hurt their feelings and that yes, you could have done better in one way or the other.
You don’t say “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re too whiny”. You know that it’s not easy to deal with humans sometimes so you try to become the bigger person by saying sorry.
You know that doing so does not reverse the damage caused by your conflict, but it surely does make things lighter.
8. You give without expecting anything in return
When you give something or do a favor to someone, it’s because you want to do it. Period.
You don’t do it for “good karma” or as an investment so that they’d pay you back one day in the future when it’s your turn to ask for help. You help people because you know it’s your duty to help as much as you can.
And if no one acknowledges you for your good deed, you don’t give a damn. You don’t need any applause.
9. You know how to compromise
You may not be the most cheerful person, you may not shower everyone with gifts…but you believe in fairness and meeting each other halfway.
You value other people’s happiness (and suffering) as much as you value yours, so you’re willing to negotiate and accommodate each other’s needs so everyone is okay…and that there’s peace and harmony in your relationships.
10. You care a lot (even you don’t do grand things)
You’re not at all indifferent.
You actually care about others—from your loved ones to your neighbors.
But more than that, you care about the planet, about your job, and about everything else that matters in the world.
Even if you don’t donate to charities, you make sure you’re doing your share to make the world a better place. And even if you’re not a chatty neighbor, you make sure you don’t play your music so loud that it would bother them.
You try to be a good person because ultimately, you care a lot about others (and not just yourself).
Did you find yourself nodding to almost all of the traits I mentioned?
Well, then there’s no doubt about it—you’re a genuinely good person at heart!
Keep doing what you’re doing. The next thing you should do is to be good to yourself. Stop feeling guilty when you feel like you’re “not good”, because you are.
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