12 signs you’re actually a more likeable person than you think you are

We all have a deep want to be accepted, to belong, to be liked. When we’re liked, it can feel like we’re part of something bigger than ourselves.

It’s why it can sometimes be troubling when we’re not sure of what people think of us, and if they like us or not.

Most people wouldn’t be upfront about what they think; their intentions always seem obscure.

One moment it can feel like they’re warming up to us, but the next they might shoot us a cold look.

The human brain has a natural tendency to give weight to (and remember) negative experiences or interactions more than positive ones, so you might assume some people don’t like you.

The truth, however, is probably a lot different.

If you can tick off some of the below signs then you’re actually a much more likable person than you think you are.

1. They Gravitate Towards You

When we dislike someone, we have the natural tendency to not want to be in a room with them.

Their presence can be irrationally frustrating for us, so we move away.

On the other hand, when we do like someone, we tend to hang around them often.

If you’re noticing that someone is often around you, that’s a clear sign that they like you. There’s something about your energy that attracts them towards you.

When you’re having a conversation with them, they might begin to slowly lean in a bit, or they might tilt their heads.

These are commonly subconscious responses that we naturally have when we want to engage with someone.

So whether they’re aware of it or not, but beneath the surface, they might actually like you.

2. They Maintain Eye Contact

Much can be told from someone’s eyes, especially where their eyes are pointed at.

A wedding ceremony wouldn’t be the same if, at the moment before finally kissing their new spouse, the groom looks anywhere else besides their lover’s eyes.

A study has found that eye contact has a significant effect on our relationships with people.

Making eye contact has been found to have positive effects among people — even if it’s simply a photograph of another person.

It’s because the eyes are an indicator of someone’s attention. Indeed, if the groom is looking at their feet instead of their bride at a ceremony, that may jeopardize the entire relationship.

So if someone maintains eye contact with you while they’re talking, it means they respect you and probably like you more than you think.

3. They Perk Up With You

When we’re with someone we dislike or would rather not be beside in the moment, it’s common to deflate. Scientifically speaking, their presence isn’t arousing.

We become more stressed when we are in the presence of a difficult person.

However, when we see someone that we do like, a study found adrenaline begins to get pumped in the body.

This is what causes an increase in heart rate, and a more energetic disposition.

This is why when someone smiles more, sits up straight, speaks with a clearer tone of voice around you, it’s a sign that they’re attracted to you; they like you.

It doesn’t always have to be read in a romantic context, however. It can always be a platonic attraction as well.

4. They Aren’t Afraid To Be Quirky

People have their own defining habits and quirks.

There’s a tendency to hold it back when interacting with others in public for fear of standing out too much.

But if someone wants to catch your attention, they aren’t afraid of being quirky with you.

They may start to tell you more about their personal life, how they like to collect stamps or that their favorite film genre is something that not many people have heard before.

Being open about their quirks is a sign that says that they’re comfortable with you because they like you.

They aren’t afraid of being judged because they trust you. You aren’t just another stranger to them anymore.

5. They Listen Closely And Consider Your Opinions

Listening to someone is one of the ways to show how much we care about them. It’s a way to tell them that their voice and thoughts matter, and that they’re being heard.

Having their opinions considered is also a sign of respect. It shows that what they’ve just said has some form of value.

So when someone takes the time to listen to what you have to say, it can mean more than simply wanting to hear your take on topics.

When they make eye contact, lean in, absorb what you’re saying without waiting for their turn to speak, it shows you that you are someone that they value and they probably like you more than you think.

6. They Say Your Name Often

A person’s name is one of the most important parts of their identity.

It’s so ingrained in our minds that we can hear our name even across a noisy dinner party.

That’s because, a study found, our brains have a specific area that activates when hearing our names.

Suddenly, we’re more alert and aware of the other person, whoever it may be.

When someone says your name often, it’s a way for them to get your attention.

It’s always a way for them to tell you that they acknowledge you, and that they recognize you.

Of course, how they say your name plays a role in what they think of you as well. If they call your name with an energetic, positive-sounding voice, that could tell you something about how they see you.

7. They Always Invite You

Lunches and outings are ways for people to get to know each other more; it’s a way to build and strengthen relationships.

It can also be exclusive; people don’t just ask anyone for lunch or outings together.

Getting invited to join a group lunch or outing can be a big deal if you’re new to the company.

It could mean that they want to welcome you or that they see something within you that they like.

In either case, an invitation means that they were thinking of you and that they want to spend time with you.

8. They Mirror You

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. A study found that one of the reasons why people mimic certain behavior and actions is because it’s a form of learning for them.

So when you see someone ordering the same coffee as you to try it out or start watching a series that you enjoy, it’s a signal that they’re sending that you’re on their minds.

They like you and want to try implementing what you do into their own lives because they see it as something worth doing.

9. They Openly Laugh At Your Jokes

Hearing someone laugh at your jokes is one of the more fulfilling experiences in life.

It means that they enjoyed what you said so much that they couldn’t control themselves.

A study found that laughter — a sense of shared enjoyment and amusement — increases the satisfaction felt in a relationship.

Laughter can then have a snowballing effect on the way that someone feels about you.

If they laugh at your joke, they might be more likely to laugh again, which makes them like you more and more.

10. They Want To Get To Know You More

Relationships often begin with shallow small talk.

What we think about the weather doesn’t give much insight to our personal lives, however.

If the person you’re talking to decides to continue talking to you — asking you more and more about your thoughts on different topics — that’s a sign that they’ve taken an interest in you.

Getting to know someone on a deeper level is where the seeds of a relationship are watered and cultivated.

By getting to know your interests, hobbies, and backstory, and reciprocating in turn, your relationship begins to bloom — which is just what they want.

11. They Remember What You Told Them

We often talk to a number of people in our daily lives so it can be difficult to keep up with who said what. Even remembering someone’s name is a common challenge.

When someone brings up something that you said some time ago, it means that what you said has value to them.

They won’t hold on to that and bring it up if they believe that it’s useless information.

It can be flattering and meaningful to remember something that someone said.

12. Their Body Language Changes With You

They often say that actions speak louder than words.

When someone says that they’ll go on a diet and you see them reaching for a burger, their previous statements become questionable.

Likewise, when someone talks to you casually, try to notice the position of their feet. If you see it tapping, then it means that they’ve got a busy mind or might be feeling anxious about something. But if their feet are firmly planted and facing towards you, that’s a subtle sign that says that they’re interested in you.

Different people will like you for different reasons.

Knowing if someone likes you or not allows you to engage with them in a more mindful way.

If they dislike you, then maybe there’s something that can be talked through with them.

If they like you, however, then that’s a relationship that you might not want to take for granted.


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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