Authentic women are a rare breed.
So when you see one, keep her close. Or better yet, try to become one yourself.
But what is it exactly that they do that makes them different?
In this article, I will give you ten things authentic women always do.
1) She gets to the heart of things.
She doesn’t waste time beating around the bush. Instead, she would rather get straight to the point and would prefer if others would also do the same.
She knows how to remove the unnecessary so you can focus on what’s truly important—whether it be about a project or about more serious things in life.
Expect her to ask questions like “What is this really about?” or “Why is this important?”.
She isn’t being stiff or cold by doing this. Not at all. An authentic woman is in fact more free than most.
There’s only so much time in a day, and she would rather spend that time discussing things that actually do matter. Or discussing things beyond the surface.
2) She questions everything.
Society isn’t kind to women.
It likes to put women into neat little boxes and hates it when women aren’t content to sit still in those boxes.
An authentic woman questions everything because she doesn’t want to be put in any box—ever.
That is to say, she is never gullible.
She questions everything from the things she reads online to the rules set in the office. But it’s not because she’s just “stubborn” or contrarian. It’s because she believes the world will be a much better place if we don’t just accept everything we’re handed.
She believes that the way to move forward—personally and as a society— is to keep asking questions.
3) She pushes herself to live a life that’s out of the box.
An authentic woman isn’t content with living in a certain way just because it’s what society expects of her.
She doesn’t care about how other people think she should live her life, what clothes she should wear and how she should look, and even what society thinks of as good and evil.
You see, many of the ideas and norms we live by are just constructs.
Authentic women understand this and break free of the social conditioning and unrealistic (and often harmful!) expectations that are set upon them by society.
4) She’s nice, but not too nice.
Authentic people sometimes scare us because, well, we think that they might just say something that will crush our souls and give us no way to recover.
But they’re not like that.
Authenticity doesn’t mean being unnecessarily rude or cruel. Rather, it simply means being honest and avoiding doing things like sugar-coating one’s words.
If anything, being “fake-nice” is the cruel thing here and authentic women know that. So they won’t say things just to make you feel good. They won’t pretend they are impressed with something if they clearly aren’t.
And most of all, they won’t kiss anyone’s ass just to get their way.
5) She says what she means and means what she says.
Authentic women always try to say what they want to say. But as I have said before, they aren’t going to be especially cruel about it. In fact, they’re going to try to be as nice as they can be.
They’ve probably learned (the hard way) that some people don’t like brutal honesty, so they make sure to learn how to express themselves without making others uncomfortable.
But she doesn’t hold back. When there’s something she wants to say, she says it. And she says it as clearly and honestly as possible.
And not only that, she puts weight to her words. If she says she’ll do something, she will definitely do it. If she says she doesn’t want something, she definitely doesn’t want it. In other words, aside from being articulate and honest, she has integrity.
6) She isn’t afraid to say no.
An authentic woman has no problems setting boundaries. And she has no problems being different, either. So saying no is so easy for her.
She says NO without having to explain anything. And when others set their boundaries, she respects it, too.
She knows how to prioritize herself. It doesn’t mean she’s being selfish. It’s her way to ensure that she keeps her word and doesn’t burn herself out.
It’s also easier for her to say no because she isn’t afraid to let others down. For her, if they get hurt or pissed when she says no to something, they’re clearly not the people she wants to be with.
7) She isn’t afraid to say yes.
Saying “no” isn’t the only way to be authentic. It’s also when you say “yes.”
An authentic woman isn’t afraid to go against the grain, which means saying yes to things where everyone is expected to say no.
For example, if someone everyone thinks is a “loser” approaches her at work to ask for help, she doesn’t automatically say no like everyone else. She doesn’t automatically say yes either, just to be different.
She uses her judgment based on her own sensibilities and if her gut tells her to say yes, she would.
8) She reminds herself that being different is okay.
Sadly, in this world we’re living in, being authentic and refusing to be chained by things like societal norms means that she’s going to stand out.
She’ll be seen as different and strange… and society isn’t kind towards people who don’t follow the crowd.
It used to affect her in the past—maybe some people told her she’s lazy, or an attention-seeker, or a b*tch—but she’s found a way to comfort herself, and that’s through daily affirmations and positive self-talk.
She now tells herself that it’s totally okay that she’s different. She even praises herself for having these traits sometimes.
Acts of self-love are important for why she thrives as her authentic self, and it’s the reason she keeps being who she is.
8) She encourages others to live authentically.
An authentic woman knows how tough it is to live authentically—at least at first.
Because of this, she directly or indirectly encourages others to remain true to themselves—from the food they order to the kind of career they want to pursue.
She might tell her sister to “just do it!” when she’s feeling scared of pursuing a career in the arts, or she might give her colleague who dresses “weirdly” a thumbs up.
Just by looking at her, you know she’s the type who never judges people for being different. And when you’re with her, you feel like you can do anything in life.
Her energy is contagious. You’d wish everyone you meet is like her.
9) She regularly hangs out with authentic people.
In trying to live an authentic life, it’s only natural that she would be met by a lot of people who will judge and refuse to understand her. And that’s exhausting.
So that’s why she would seek out people who are authentic. Even if they live vastly different lives from her, they are all united in their desire to be their true selves.
Birds of a feather flock together, after all.
And the funny thing is that even if she doesn’t put any extra effort into looking for other authentic people, she’ll end up with a crowd of like folk anyways.
It’s simply easier for authentic people like her to befriend other authentic people because of how they don’t try to play games. Likewise, inauthentic people will easily take themselves out of her life because they’re too “intense” and “real” for them.
10) She chooses to live a life that she knows she won’t regret.
Authentic women are more introspective.
That means she’s discovered her own definition of what a life well-lived truly means. And chances are, for an authentic woman, it’s about living a life without regret.
No regrets doesn’t mean being hedonistic and YOLO. It simply means following your purpose and enjoying your limited time on earth as a human being (without being careless, of course).
Whatever that means to an authentic woman, she follows it with gusto. Because there’s nothing she fears more than being old and thinking “wow, I was such a coward for following what everyone wanted me to be.”
She imagines a life she wants and does everything to have it—society’s judgments be damned.
Authentic women are those who aren’t afraid to break free of the norm so that they can be true to themselves, and live for themselves. They can’t be controlled, no matter how hard society tries.
It’s for that reason that a lot of people find them intimidating. Terrifying, even.
But if you were to simply see them for who they are, you’d appreciate them and even want to be just like them.
So if you know one, keep them close. And if you want to be one, you can do the things mentioned in this list.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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