14 signs of a truly confident man, according to psychology

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What sets a confident man apart from an average, uninspiring guy?

Confident men have carved out a personality and set of habits that make them highly effective in their career and charismatic and magnetic in their relationships. 

Others are drawn to them, and they make an impression just by walking into a room with their energy.

But behind that energy is a mindset and range of habits that have made this man a formidable force to be reckoned with. 

So what are those signs of a genuinely confident guy that others can’t help but respond to? 

The answer comes down to 14 psychological signs that can be assessed at the deepest level. 

1) Strong self-efficacy  

Confident men believe in themselves and their worth. 

They don’t let others’ opinions shake them, and criticism doesn’t crush their self-esteem. 

They know their value and move on if they’re not appreciated somewhere. 

As psychosocial rehabilitation specialist and psychology educator Kendra Cherry, MS, writes

“Self-efficacy is a person’s belief in their ability to succeed in a particular situation. Such beliefs play a role in determining how people think, behave, and feel.”

The self-efficacy theory, developed by psychologist Albert Bandura, has an enormous impact on what a man feels about his own value and efficacy. It’s his self-perception.

“Self-efficacy is important because it plays a role in how you feel about yourself and whether or not you successfully achieve your goals in life,” Cherry notes. 

Speaking of goals: 

2) Goal-oriented

Confident men have a clear sense of purpose driving them forward. 

They have found their mission in life and the momentum of that brings them forward into new situations with vigor and determination. 

They aren’t just a handsome face, they have real drive behind their words and behaviors. 

It’s not enough to be physically attractive or financially stable; setting and pursuing meaningful goals is what truly makes the confident man stand out

3) Action-focused

While many may talk a big game or focus on appearances, truly confident men prioritize taking action.

They don’t waste time crafting an image or seeking validation; instead, they direct their energy towards achieving their objectives. 

This also ties into a related theory from Bandura known as reciprocal determinism. This theory demonstrates that a confident man believes in their own ability to help shape their environment, rather than just being passively subject to it the way previous theorists like B.F. Skinner had posited. 

“Not only does the environment influence a person’s thinking, but their subsequent behavior influences their environment. 

“In other words, the environment influences how a person thinks and feels, which in turn influences their behavior, which impacts the environment, and so on.”

4) Hardworking and dedicated 

Confidence is not just about attitude; it’s about putting in the effort. 

Confident men possess a strong work ethic, dedicating themselves wholeheartedly to their tasks while also knowing when to rest and recharge. 

This also ties back to Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy. The fact is that men who really believe in themselves and their abilities are much more likely to keep going when the going gets tough. 

As Psychologs Magazine explains

“People with high level of self-efficacy often put hard work and dedication to the tasks as they believe in their abilities often leading to greater effort and persistence in the face of adversities or challenges”

5) Straightforward and frank

Confident men communicate directly and honestly, avoiding unnecessary embellishments or chatter. 

They value brevity and authenticity over empty words. 

This makes them well respected by others and it also makes their words worth their weight in gold:

People know that when they say something they mean it, and it’s true. 

6) Avoiding the victim mentality

Confident men refuse to play the victim or surround themselves with those who do. 

Instead of dwelling on injustices or setbacks, they focus on solutions and personal growth. 

There are many times when things happen that are displeasing or strange, but confident men don’t read too much into them, and they don’t blame themselves for things which they aren’t responsible for.

As psychologist Dr. Scott Kaufman, Ph.D. explains

“Social life is full of ambiguity. Dates don’t always respond to your text messages, friends don’t always smile back at you when you smile at them, and strangers sometimes have upset looks on their faces. 

“The question is: How do you interpret these situations?”

7) Selective in relationships and sex

Confident men are selective in all aspects of life, including romance. 

They don’t settle for less than what they truly desire and approach relationships with honesty and realism.

They are also sexually selective and don’t just sleep with whoever crosses their path, giving connections they do make more of a special quality. 

“The key is to be selectively hard to get. 

“If you’re interested in somebody, make sure he knows you like him, but do so in a way that doesn’t suggest that you’d take just anybody,” advises psychology professor Eli Finkel

8) Spiritually grounded

Confident men have a strong sense of their core values and beliefs, regardless of religious or spiritual affiliation. 

They seek answers within themselves rather than relying on external validation.

They have considered life’s big questions and come up with at least a few answers that are meaningful for them. 

They live their life by those principles and try to make spirituality a reality in their daily life, rather than some abstract or mental theory.

9) Learning from failure 

Confident men set ambitious goals for themselves and work towards achieving them, learning from setbacks along the way. 

The fact is that they have learned the importance of failing and failing well, something that many aren’t brave or confident enough to do.

As Dr. Radu Atanasiu Ph.D. explains:

“We humans don’t learn as easily as we should. We learn better from direct experience than from others. 

“And we learn better from failure than from success.”

10) Embracing change

Confident men accept change as part of life. 

They stay grounded in the present, knowing that some things are beyond their control, and focus on using change to their advantage. 

They know that change is the one constant in life and that being ready for it will always leave them in a better position than being blindsided. 

Which brings me to the next point… 

11) Pre-planning for obstacles

Confident men anticipate and prepare for obstacles in advance, whether in finances, relationships, or career, to deal with challenges effectively. 

By accepting that change is the one constant, they are already prepared for most of what life can throw at them. 

One example is career change or career loss:

They know that especially in today’s economy things change rapidly and industries shift, so they already explore new careers even while they’re in their current job. 

12) Taking calculated risks

Confident men take risks after weighing the pros and cons.

They aren’t reckless or bragging in the way of a loudmouth guy, but they do have guts to take a chance. 

Also, when they do go for it, these men put in their all. 

If and when they decide to take action, they commit fully. 

13) Thriving on challenges

Challenges are catnip to confident men. 

They see roadblocks and challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles to be feared. 

In order to become more like this, we can all follow a way of dividing up stressful tasks that is quite effective.

A good rule of thumb is to follow the 80/20 rule, as advised by executive leadership coach Lolly Daskal:

“Faced with a problem, most people spend about 80 percent of their time and energy dwelling on the problem. Instead, devote 80 percent to a solution and 20 percent to the problem. 

“When you turn it around, you’ll likely find you’re less stressed and more productive.”

14) Staying focused under pressure

In times of crisis, confident men step up as leaders, focusing on solutions rather than panicking.

Even if they aren’t a natural leader, they find a way to stay calm under deadline and when the heat is on. 

By thriving with their self-efficacy and belief in themselves along with being prepared, they inspire confidence and respect in others. 

“Pressure can be a useful catalyst in your leadership if you can use it to challenge and stretch your limit to go beyond so purposeful things can be achieved but it only works if you stay calm,” explains Daskal.

Confident to the core

Confidence isn’t just about outward appearances or charm; it’s a mindset and a way of living. 

The truly confident man stands out in a crowd because he’s tapping into his deepest resources and saying yes to life. 

Every man has the potential for confidence within him, waiting to be unlocked through self-awareness and action. 

He has the ability to build himself up to his maximum potential and seize opportunities when they arise.

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