Do you get the distinct feeling that your partner only has one foot in when it comes to your relationship?
He’s in it, but not 100%.
Almost like he’s afraid to commit. Or even worse…still considering his options.
There is nothing worse than discovering you’re in a monkey-branching relationship.
It’s not quite cheating. But then again, it might as well be.
You’re essentially the backup plan while they consider whether there’s anything better out there for them.
How is that fair?!
Of course, it’s not. So, how do you know for sure if you’re in a monkey-branching relationship?
Perhaps he just has cold feet and isn’t ready to commit?
Or maybe he just needs a little time to work out his feelings?
If you want to know 100% if you’re in a monkey-branching relationship (without any doubt) then these 10 signs are for you.
Don’t get caught out. Work out exactly where you stand in this relationship and decide whether or not it’s a relationship you actually want to be in.
10 signs of a monkey-branching relationship
1) He’s still on all the dating apps
There’s one thing to have dating apps on your phone, it’s another altogether to be active on them.
You may have met on a dating app yourself. It’s the way of the modern world, and it’s no secret that before the two of you landed on each other, he probably spoke to a number of other women first. Probably even dated a few along the way.
Now that the two of you are pursuing a relationship, are dating apps appropriate?
If you’ve taken yourself off the apps, then you should be expecting the same from him as well.
Having the apps still on his phone is harmless on its own. After all, he could have simply forgotten about them altogether, or simply biding his time.
It’s normal to be a little nervous at the beginning of a relationship and to hang onto those apps ‘just in case’. It doesn’t mean he’s on them, or that he’s looking. Simply that he’s got them there if your relationship doesn’t work out.
Of course, if your relationship is a lot further along and you’re discovering dating apps on his phone that weren’t there before, then take this as a big, fat, red flag.
There’s only one reason he’s downloaded these apps, and you can guarantee he’s been on them.
Not sure whether or not he’s active on them? You can always come out and ask him and see what he says.
If you prefer to be a little sneakier, then ask a friend to check for you (a little background work should reveal all).
An active dating profile while you’re in a relationship, definitely a sign of a monkey-branching relationship. And he’s already well on his way with that escape route.
2) Won’t account for his time
It’s normal to share a fair bit when you’re in a relationship.
Once you’re comfortable with each other, you share the ins and outs of your day. It’s what a relationship is all about.
Being there for each other.
If he’s suddenly being vague on where he has been or what plans he has this weekend, then your alarm bells should be starting to sound.
After all, what does he have to hide from you?
There’s every chance he’s off seeing other women, even if it’s just for a casual drink at the bar. He isn’t telling you because he knows he’s doing the wrong thing. Even if it hasn’t gone as far as cheating (yet).
Pay attention to any side steps in the conversation. These are his attempts to distract you from what he’s really up to.
If he’s being a little vague with you, start digging a little deeper.
Ask if you can join him next time he goes out.
Probe him more about where he has been and what he’s been doing.
At the end of the day, trust that gut instinct of yours. If you feel like he’s not telling you the truth, then he probably isn’t. And there’s a good reason for this. He’s busy setting up that next relationship of his and he doesn’t want you to know about it.
3) You’re yet to meet his friends
He’s telling you that he’s waiting for the perfect moment to introduce you to his friends…
In reality, he goes through relationships so fast, and knows yours isn’t going to last, so he doesn’t waste his time on the friend introductions.
It makes sense. When you’re constantly jumping from one relationship to another, your friends aren’t going to be able to keep up. So, you simply leave them out of the equation.
This makes things much simpler in the eyes of a monkey-brancher.
If you’ve noticed that the only times you have hung out together it’s just to two of you, then take this as a sign.
Monkey-branchers are well known for jumping from relationship to relationship without taking a pause.
He’s always got an excuse ready for when you ask to meet his friends:
- They’re all really busy.
- I’ll plan it soon.
- I’m waiting for the right event.
- They keep changing plans.
The fact is, this guy is monkey-branching you. He’s not going to waste his time and energy forging connections between you and his friends when he’s already got the next relationship in the works.
So, have you met his friends yet?
It’s time to start asking why.
4) He doesn’t want to meet your friends
On the flip side, he also doesn’t have any interest whatsoever in meeting your friends.
The same principles apply.
He’s not interested in forging relations with people he simply doesn’t care about. Your friends mean nothing to him, since he’s not planning on sticking around long enough for them to matter.
It’s a classic sign of a serial monkey-brancher.
Have you tried to make plans, only for him to pull out last minute time and time again?
Does he always have an excuse ready when you try to plan something?
Meeting the friends is a big step in any relationship. It’s a serious commitment when it comes to getting to know that person better and who exactly they are.
Monkey-branchers aren’t interested in commitment. So they’re going to steer clear of this step at all costs. No matter how many excuses they have to throw at you.
- My friend needs help.
- I’m busy that night.
- I was planning to come but got held up.
- I have to study.
- I have to work.
Do these all sound vaguely familiar? If you’ve been trying to get him to meet your friends for some time now, then take it as a sign that something more is going on here.
He’s already off chasing his next relationship, so he’ll have all the excuses that are ready to throw at you.
5) There are no boundaries
One thing about monkey-branching relationships: they’re always over pretty quickly.
If your guy is monkey-branching you, then you can guarantee he isn’t going to muck around with things like boundaries that slow the relationship down.
He’s not looking for commitment, he’s looking to dive in, get what he wants out of the relationship and then step right back out again and straight into his next pursuit.
Have you noticed that he’s constantly pushing boundaries and the relationship is moving forward much faster than you anticipated?
It’s easy to mistake this as a good sign that he’s really into you and keen to take your relationship to that next level as quickly as possible.
But a guy that really likes you is more likely to take things slowly to respect your boundaries and make sure you’re comfortable with each step of the process. It’s important not to mistake the two.
If you feel like the beginning of your relationship is moving much too quickly, then it’s a good indication that you’re dating a monkey-brancher.
Stand your ground when it comes to your boundaries and see whether or not he’s willing to back down and respect your wishes.
If not, then you can safely bet this guy has no long-term plans that involve you. You’re a means to an end… and that end is his next relationship.
6) He has a LOT of ex-partners
This is a tell-tale sign that you’re in a monkey-branching relationship.
If he’s monkey-branching you know, then you can almost be certain he’s done it to other women in his past. Which is why he has a fair few exes to his name.
He doesn’t stick around long enough to get to a place of commitment. And he’s also never single, because he simply jumps from one relationship to the next.
As you might expect, this leaves a long list of conquests in his wake.
Of course, a monkey-brancher isn’t likely to be open about his past relationships and how many women he’s dated. But you can get a good indication by the way he answers the questions.
Ask him when the last time he was single was.
Ask him how many women he has been with.
Ask him how many relationships he’s had.
These are all normal questions that come up in any relationship, so put them to the test. If he’s vague with his answers or tries to change the topic, it’s a good indication he’s hiding something he doesn’t want you to know.
7) He’s constantly flirting
That’s right, men can be big flirts too. While it’s normally the women who get a name for it, you’ll notice some guys are very smooth-talking when it comes to the ladies.
Flirting is one of the big signs of monkey-branching. After all, to be able to jump from relationship to relationship and woman to woman, you have to be able to hook them in. Flirting achieves this.
Flirting can take so many different forms in the modern world, from texting, calling, messaging on socials, to meeting up and chatting at bars.
So ask yourself, is your man a flirt.
You’ll know the answer without having to stop and think about it.
It’s something you will have noticed when you’re out at bars. Or anytime you’re in the company of other women.
Or you might notice he’s on his phone a lot, smiling and laughing with whoever he’s talking to.
He probably flirted when he first met you to win you over in the first place.
Once a flirt, always a flirt. And he’s using this talent already to bring in his next catch.
8) Sudden change in behaviour
A monkey-branching relationship is very whirlwind.
Just as you’re being swept off your feet in a relationship that is moving much faster than you anticipated, his behaviour suddenly changes.
He’s much more distant and is no longer showing an interest in anything in your life.
He thinks of you as a conquest. And now that he’s achieved his goal, he’s not even going to pretend to be interested anymore.
If you notice that your man is pulling away from you both emotionally and physically, then there’s a good chance he’s already halfway out the door.
Big behavioural changes like this are a good sign of a monkey-branching relationship. He’s only going to put in as much as he has to before he pulls back and moves on.
9) It’s always your fault
Have you noticed that he’s now always putting the blame on you whenever you fight?
It seems no matter what you do or say, you’re constantly in the wrong in his eyes and can’t seem to do anything right.
This is because he’s getting ready to monkey-branch you. He’s no longer interested in the relationship and is already cutting ties… while making it seem like it’s all you.
Monkey-branchers have plenty of experience in this. Before you even work out what’s happening, he’ll have jumped straight into that next relationship and left you lost for words.
If you can’t see to do anything right in the relationship anymore, take it as a sign that your relationship isn’t going anywhere.
10) He’s fixated on physical appearance
Sure, we all care about how we look.
Well, many of us do anyway. It’s a completely normal trait. However, being obsessed over your looks isn’t.
This is a common trait of monkey-branchers. In order to hook that next catch, they have to constantly be in their prime and looking their best. No matter what.
If he’s constantly spending his time at the gym and buying new clothes each and every day, then there’s a good chance he’s a monkey-brancher.
He wants to stay looking fit and healthy, while also being well-dressed, to help impress any women he might come across in his search for his next relationship.
If you’re noticing he seems to be putting far too much effort into his physical appearance, it’s a strong sign that there’s something more going on.
Put simply, you’re not the one he’s trying to impress.
I’m in a monkey-branching relationship…now what
So, you’ve read the signs and you’ve discovered that you’re 100% without a doubt in a monkey-branching relationship.
It’s certainly not a position anyone wants to find themselves in.
Where to next?
Now that you know exactly where you stand, you have a few options available to you. It’s entirely up to you to decide what works for you and your situation.
1) Dump his sorry ass
Don’t want to be the backup plan? I don’t blame you. Go ahead and enjoy all the satisfaction in the world of saying goodbye to this toxic relationship.
Love is out there waiting for you, but you won’t find it here.
It’s important to know your worth and to recognise when you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship.
If he isn’t willing to commit to you 100% and prefers to sit back on the fence, waiting for a better offer, then it might be time to nudge him off and say goodbye.
His better offer can come along and pick up the pieces.
This guy has very little respect for you to be putting you in this position in the first place. It says a lot more about him than it does about you.
He clearly has very low self-esteem, little-to-no morals and is completely insecure about himself.
He’s happy to go out, pretend you don’t exist and flirt with whoever he chooses. While it may not entirely constitute cheating (depending on your own definition), it might as well be.
This isn’t someone you want to be in a relationship with.
End it and don’t look back. You’re better off.
2) Stick it out
You also have the option to stay put.
While it might not be great to discover you’re in a monkey-branching relationship, you could choose to use it to your own benefit and start looking for someone else too, while enjoying the security of your relationship.
Morally, it’s not the best thing to do.
However, if he’s already monkey-branching you, then honestly… what’s the harm.
It could be the confidence boost you need to get out there and meet someone new who is perfect for you.
Some women simply don’t like being single. If you’re one of them, then this option is for you.
Keep that man on your arm for as long as you need, then toss him aside when a better option comes along.
That’s right, do what he’s doing to you, right back to him!
Of course, you do run the risk that he moves on first, but it’s a small risk to take in the scheme of things.
It’s time to use this guy the way he’s using you and find someone who is actually worthy of your time and your love.
Mr right is out there. For now, Mr right now will do.
3) Trigger his hero instinct
There is one final option that may be lingering in the back of your head.
What if you really like this guy?
Sure, he’s done the wrong thing, but deep down you know that he’s a genuinely nice guy and you want to be with him.
If there’s one thing we can’t control, it’s our feelings. It might be frustrating to discover that despite everything he is doing to you, you still have feelings for him.
You want to hate him. You want to scream. You want to be free of him.
But, you love him.
There is one other option for you. You can trigger his hero instinct and get him to commit 100% to your relationship. You can trigger his hero instinct.
One reason he might be one foot in, one foot out in the relationship is because you haven’t triggered his hero instinct yet. He’s not committed to you, because he doesn’t know-how.
Sounds strange, but hear me out.
All men have this basic biological urge to be needed and wanted and essential in their romantic relationships. There’s a good chance your man isn’t feeling this right now. No, he doesn’t want to pop on a cape and come to your rescue, but on his own level, he does have the urge to be the hero to the woman in his life.
If you really love the guy, then you have the opportunity to get him to commit to you 100% without fail.
So, where do you start?
It’s about taking actions to trigger that hero instinct to get the ball rolling. Simply start with this free video here and discover everything you need to know.
The term was first coined by relationships expert James Bauer, and it really is the best-kept relationship secret there is.
By watching the video, you will discover actionable steps you can take to trigger his hero instinct, and be well on the way to the life you want.
Your monkey-branching relationship will be a thing of the past for the two of you, as you move forward together in a committed, happy relationship. Both feet in!
When you trigger his hero instinct, you’re giving the one thing he wants above all else.
Click here to watch a quick video about the hero instinct, and win your man over today.
Putting yourself first in 2022
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal for 2022?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…it’s the start of a new year after all!
No, I emailed you because I want to help you achieve the goal (or goals) you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,
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