For many men, “commitment” is a word that seems to inspire fear and a desire to run away. That’s why it’s a topic that we women find hard to bring up.
Back when I was still single, it was really tricky figuring out if the guy I was dating was ready for a committed relationship.
Is this something you’re struggling with? Are you wondering if there’s any way to find out, other than a full-blown conversation about commitment, if your man is someone who’s in it for the long haul?
It can be tough to know for sure, but luckily, there are some hidden signs to look out for.
Here are 13 telltale signs of a man who isn’t afraid of commitment:
1) He communicates clearly and honestly
Let’s begin with the first thing to watch out for – his ability to communicate. After all, communication is a foundational aspect of healthy, committed relationships.
Is your man a stand-up guy when it comes to communication? Is he able to open up and talk about your relationship?
If yes, that’s a great sign!
You see, a man with commitment issues would be evasive and constantly dodge questions. If you’re looking for something long-term, that’s a red flag for you.
But if he levels with you and answers your questions in a straightforward way, he’s likely more equipped to navigate the challenges that arise in a committed relationship.
2) He makes plans for the future
Another sign to look for is whether he’s making plans for the future.
A man who isn’t afraid of commitment is likewise not afraid to plan for the future, whether that means making plans for a future together or for his own personal goals.
If he’s talking about future vacations, career aspirations, or even something as simple as where he wants to live, that’s a good sign.
What does this look like?
Watch out for statements like these:
- Someday, I’m going to take you to Paris, we’ll have a romantic vacation there.
- How many children do you think we’ll have?
- I plan to open my own business in the next five years.
These point to the fact that he’s a guy with a sense of purpose and a vision for his life and isn’t one to merely let life happen to him.
3) He has introduced you to his family and friends
Speaking of the future, introducing you to the important people in his life is a sure sign that he takes your relationship seriously.
This is one of the first signs I saw with my then-boyfriend-now-husband.
The minute he mentioned that he wanted me to have dinner with his family, that’s when I knew for sure that he saw me as someone he would be sharing the future with.
4) He thinks like a teammate
A man who isn’t scared to commit knows the importance of teamwork in relationships.
He no longer thinks just of himself; he has begun thinking of the two of you as a team. You’ll find him using words like “we” and “us” more often.
These words are definitely music to a woman’s ears, because as much as it implies you’re a team, it also expresses exclusivity. You’re no longer two people dating casually; you’re a couple.
5) He’s emotionally mature
What do teammates do when things get tough? They stick it out and fix the problem together, right?
That’s exactly how you’ll know your man isn’t afraid of commitment. He shows he’s willing to work through challenges and conflicts in a healthy and productive way.
He also isn’t afraid to tackle tough conversations or apologize when he’s wrong.
In other words, he has emotional maturity.
Commitment and emotional maturity go hand in hand. Emotional maturity influences a person’s ability to commit to a relationship, and to other areas of life in general.
If he’s emotionally mature, he can handle the ups and downs of a relationship in a healthy and constructive way. He won’t resort to immature behavior nor lash out in anger when he’s frustrated.
So, check him out: Is he able to manage his emotions no matter what happens? Do tough situations bring out his hero instinct instead of making him lose his cool?
You see, if we’re talking about commitment, you want someone whose inner hero is triggered when they’re with you. What does that mean?
For guys, the hero instinct is what drives them to love more deeply and commit firmly when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.
I learned about this from James Bauer’s excellent free video. In this video, he shares some easy tips to help you know how to trigger this hero instinct in your man.
Click here to watch the free video.
6) He’s flexible and adaptable
Speaking of conflict and emotional maturity brings me to this next point.
Committed relationships are all about compromise and change.
When two people decide to be together, it’s going to be a delicate dance of give-and-take. You both have your own personalities, and sometimes, it can’t be helped that you’ll clash with each other.
A man who’s ready for commitment has the flexibility to handle this. He knows he won’t always get what he wants and can adapt quickly to new circumstances and situations as they arise.
7) He’s not afraid to be vulnerable
Let’s face it – men are notorious for putting up a brave front.
I can’t blame them; society has conditioned men to believe that expressing their feelings is a sign of weakness.
But with the right partner, they can let it all out. They can drop that strong facade and open up their heart and express themselves earnestly.
If he’s that way with you, that shows he isn’t afraid of commitment. It means he feels secure and emotionally connected enough with you to show his vulnerable side.
8) He’s interested in your life and passions
When you first meet someone you’re attracted to, it’s only natural to be curious about what makes them tick. You want to know everything about them, right?
But after the chase, this intense desire to get to know each other can fade. Before you know it, he’s no longer as interested in what you’re thinking and feeling as he was at the start.
But – if he still is, if his interest in you stays strong and steady – chances are, he’s a keeper.
It means he’s no flash in the pan; he’s one to keep the fire burning because he’s not into flings or short-term relationships.
So, no matter how long you’ve been dating, he’s still genuinely curious about your life and your passions.
Not only that…
9) He’s supportive and encouraging
A man who isn’t afraid of commitment isn’t content with simply showing interest. He’s also going to show you big-time that he supports you in your personal and professional goals.
He’s secure enough to take the backseat and let you shine. Whether it’s the small or big milestones in your life, he’ll be your very own cheerleader!
10) He’s a man of his word
Here’s another clear sign that a man isn’t afraid of commitment – he keeps his promises.
When he says he’ll do something, does he really do it?
Is he there for you when you need him?
He might not tell you outright that he’s ready to commit, but if you see that he follows his words through with concrete actions, that points to his consistency and reliability.
These two traits are sure signs that he has what it takes to make a commitment and fulfill it.
11) He invests time and effort into building a relationship with you
When a guy wants to commit to you, he’ll make sure you know you’re a huge priority. For example, if he chooses to hang out with you instead of his friends, that’s an absolute green flag!
You see, a man who is ready for commitment is also willing to invest time and effort into building a strong and lasting relationship.
He’s not looking for a casual fling or a short-term romance – he’s in it for the long haul. And with that comes the need to prioritize you and make you feel valued.
12) He’s willing to make sacrifices for you
I’ll go even further – he doesn’t just prioritize you, he’s even willing to make sacrifices for you.
Here’s the thing: sometimes commitment means making sacrifices.
I’ll give you an example of what this looks like in real life. I once had a big event coming up, my best friend’s wedding. I was the maid of honor, and of course, I wanted to bring my then-boyfriend along.
Unfortunately, it coincided with the concert of his favorite band. He’d been looking forward to it for so long, and I hated to be the one to make him miss it.
But you know what? I didn’t have to. He himself made the decision to go with me instead.
That showed me how important I was to him, and how he was someone I could totally rely on.
13) He loves you even at your worst
Lastly, we get to the best part – his ability to love all of you.
And I mean ALL of you, the good, the bad, the weird, and so on.
You see, it’s easy for a man to say he loves you when you’re at your best. But what about when you’re not?
What about when you’re mean and snarky? What about when you’re in your oldest, rattiest PJs, with no makeup and messy hair?
If he’s seen you at your worst and he’s still by your side, congratulations! You’ve found yourself a man who isn’t afraid to commit!
He knows that an honest-to-goodness relationship can only happen when you’re both comfortable showing your real selves.
Isn’t that amazing, to find someone who loves you – the real you – unconditionally?
Men often get a bad rap for being commitment-shy. But I believe that all it takes is the right person at the right time.
And while now might not yet be the right time for your guy to commit, it’s good to at least know if he’s capable of doing it when the time comes.
Of course, every relationship is different; there’s really no one-size-fits-all answer.
But if you’re seeing these signs in your own relationship, it’s a good indication that your guy is in it for the long haul. So keep an eye out, and happy dating!
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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