Roselle Umlas
Everyone wants to be seen as a confident person. Confidence is that elusive aura that portrays you as a strong and positive person.
Confident people can walk into any boardroom or a room full of strangers like a winner. However, that doesn’t mean they’re arrogant.
In fact, true confidence shows up in a vastly different way from arrogance.
Here are the signs that you’ve got a healthy dose of confidence:
1) You’re not easily offended
Having confidence means you aren’t easily offended when someone insults you or makes a bad joke.
Why?
Because you know your worth.
You know who you are—the names other people call you don’t matter.
You have a strong self-image and choose not to pour your energies into something insignificant.
2) You don’t need the spotlight
Being confident doesn’t mean you go around bragging about your accomplishments.
On the contrary, you quickly diffuse compliments and shift conversations to other people who have helped you achieve your goals.
This isn’t fake humility; you’re truly secure enough not to focus on your accomplishments and to lift up the people around you instead.
3) You are proactive
If you’re confident, you don’t wait for life to happen—you make it happen.
That means taking concrete steps to reach your goals.
For example, you won’t wait years and years for your company to offer you a promotion.
You will earn it, learning new skills along the way and enjoying the journey, then you’ll be upfront and ask for a promotion.
And if you don’t get it, you’ll start looking for other opportunities elsewhere.
4) You are decisive
Being a decisive person isn’t about always making the right decision.
It’s about knowing you’ll be okay even when you’re wrong. It’s about knowing that even bad decisions have value and lessons to be learned.
That’s the funny thing about decisiveness. Whether you make the right decision or not, you get something valuable out of it. It’s a cycle that fearful people don’t know.
You, on the other hand, already know this. You make up your mind quickly and learn important lessons each time. That’s why you’re resilient and an excellent problem solver.
5) You cultivate inner happiness
A common myth about confidence and happiness is that it comes from success.
But the truth is, that’s what psychologists call “extrinsic confidence.” It’s a confidence that relies on external factors like praise, achievements, awards, and public recognition.
Extrinsic confidence isn’t a bad thing. However, it becomes one when that’s all you have.
It’s fleeting and disappears once other people stop noticing you. You may also overlook small victories because you’re too focused on the end goal.
Instead, a truly confident person cultivates intrinsic confidence, which comes from a profound, inner belief in yourself no matter the outcome.
Whether or not you succeed in your goal, you see yourself as worthy of love and success.
6) You don’t judge other people
A confident person doesn’t waste time making judgments about other people.
If you do point out someone else’s mistakes, you do it in the spirit of constructive criticism.
However, you know where to draw the line. You know that putting others down to lift yourself up is no longer considered constructive criticism.
When you have a solid sense of self-worth, you don’t see the need to compare yourself with others to feel better. You don’t nitpick other people’s mistakes just to show that you’re superior.
In fact, you’ve grown so much in healthy self-love that you can give more love and be more welcoming to others.
7) You stand up for yourself
You’re confident if you can be assertive while staying polite and respectful.
This boils down, once again, to self-worth.
Confidence means you know how to say no to people and things that aren’t good for you, and you only say yes when you mean it.
You understand the importance of setting boundaries to keep yourself mentally healthy.
Assertiveness is a skill—it takes a confident person to express negative feedback or make their needs known without having to raise their voice or bully other people.
8) You speak with authority
Authority is often mistaken for aggression. But if you’re truly confident, you know that isn’t so.
You have years of experience and vast knowledge that all come together to give you an air of quiet authority.
You don’t have to raise your voice to make a point; when you speak, other people can immediately tell that you know what you’re talking about.
Being authoritative is a skill that comes with years of training, just like assertiveness. You’ve got this skill because you’ve made it a priority to keep learning and communicating effectively.
9) You practice active listening
Here’s another clue that you’re confident—you know how to listen.
Many people are passive or unfocused listeners; they listen without reacting yet don’t pay attention to what’s being said.
Other times, they listen simply with the intent to speak.
On the contrary, you actively listen and speak less but meaningfully.
You’re genuinely interested in what other people have to say and can quickly resolve challenges by listening to their side attentively.
You see conversations and interactions as valuable opportunities to learn new things.
10) You maintain your composure
When something unexpected happens, you don’t break down or freak out. Instead of letting your emotions rule you, you take charge and master them.
You might feel pain and panic just like anybody else, but you can stay calm and collected in challenging situations.
Whatever life throws at you, you’re emotionally intelligent enough to handle it with grace.
Final thoughts
If you have all of these traits, give yourself a pat on the back—you’ve mastered the art of being confident.
No matter the circumstances, you can go through life knowing how to cut through the noise and pay attention to what really matters.
And if you aren’t there yet, there’s no time like the present to start developing confidence. Remember that it’s a learnable skill that begins with cultivating a strong sense of self-worth.
When it comes to confidence, the only thing that stands in your way is the limit you put on yourself.
