Paul Brian
Are you charismatic?
Your first response might be: “what, me?”
But hold on for a moment and read the following signs.
You may be much more charismatic than you realize.
I recently found out that I am much more charismatic than I thought, and it’s completely changed my self-perception and self-image.
1) You have the power to lift others up…
First up in the signs you’re a highly charismatic person (even if you don’t realize it) is that you have the power to lift others up.
How can you know if you do?
Try seeing what happens when you say encouraging words to friends and family or even to a group of strangers…
Try seeing what happens when you tell a joke during an endless line at the bank…
Do people respond? Do those in the line laugh? Or are you met with stony silence.
If your words and behavior has a big power to lift others up, you’re much more charismatic than you realize.
Realizing that I have a big ability to make people feel better and have a positive impact on them has been a game-changer for me, and it took a few friends pointing it out (independent of each other) for me to realize it was objectively true…
2) …And the power to bring them way down
Next up in the signs you’re a highly charismatic person (even if you don’t realize it) is that you also have the power to bring people around you way down.
I know I certainly have this ability.
A few ill-timed rants about the degeneration of society and how boring people are and those around me wilt like old crops in a drought.
Granted, negativity always has an effect on people.
But dark charisma is more. It makes people truly feel hopeless and almost share your dark state.
Indeed one of the signs that you’re charismatic (and not just in a good way) is that you have the ability to paint a really dark picture that truly sucks other people in.
“Oh God, I hope what you’re saying isn’t true. How dreadful.”
That’s dark charisma…
3) You’re rarely greeted with neutrality or indifference
Generally, charisma is a very positive and uplifting thing, to be clear.
One of the top signs you’re a highly charismatic person (even if you don’t realize it) is that you rarely encounter indifference.
You may come face to face with jealousy or even hate, but you’re unlikely to interact with people who basically could care less.
In other words, you make a splash.
Like it or not, you have an effect on people and they pay attention to what you say for reasons that may escape your perception.
4) You’re able to convince neutral or even hostile people to do you favors and help you
Next in the signs you’re a highly charismatic person (even if you don’t realize it) is that you are able to convince people to come to your aid who normally wouldn’t.
Some people are more helpful than others, but we don’t always have a choice when to ask for help.
Maybe your car breaks down in a rural area and you need to find a mechanic nearby (this happened recently to me).
So you ask a passing cyclist where a garage is, complementing his bike. He responds with a smile and points out a garage less than a kilometer away.
The mechanic also seems inclined to help you, charging a modest amount to fix your broken vehicle.
All a true story…
Now, are some folks just good people? Absolutely.
But never discredit yourself and the positive reactions that other people tend to have to you. It often means you have a kind of charisma they’re instinctively responding to.
5) Strangers seem to instinctively trust and like you without any clear reason
This leads right into the next of the signs you’re a highly charismatic person (even if you don’t realize it):
Strangers just seem to like you.
Always? No, of course not…
But in general, you seem to make a good impression on people.
How much does an impression really mean at the end of the day?
That all depends, of course. But making a good impression can be as trivial as a receptionist doing you a favor or being kind to you, all the way up to as important as a doctor taking more time to do a thoughtful diagnosis of you because they feel more drawn to you.
6) Your friends and family cite you as a major influence in their lives
Next in the signs of hidden charisma is that your friends and family cite you as a big influence in their lives.
Several family members have complimented me in ways I didn’t expect over the years, and I realize that doesn’t necessarily mean a lot.
After all, if your family doesn’t appreciate you, who does, right?
Yet at the same time, realizing how I look through my family’s eyes made me realize I’m much more charismatic than I’d thought.
My ideas, plans, projects and dreams have had an influence on those close to me in ways much bigger than I’d realized at first.
7) You’re often on fire with new ideas, projects and beliefs
The next sign of hidden charisma that you might not realize in yourself is that you’re always very interested in something.
You’re rarely just “bored” or waiting for the next big thing…
Instead, you’re actively dreaming up and planning the next big thing, whether that be a creative project, learning a new language or moving to a place you’ve always wanted to visit.
Your passion is infectious and others want to join you, find out more and get involved.
If that’s not charisma, I don’t know what is…
8) You have a way with words and with guiding (or manipulating) others
Next in the signs you’re a highly charismatic person (even if you don’t realize it) is that you are a cunning linguist.
You have a lot of words and you know how to use them: not only the words themselves, but tone and subtext.
This has many applications in life: you can use such a talent for good or ill, to help others or lead them astray.
But never underestimate the power of words. They’ve led armies to war, created new religions and changed the world.
If others hang on your every word, you have more charisma than you might believe…
9) You emerge as a natural leader during tense and difficult situations
This brings us to the next point:
There is a direct connection between charisma and leadership.
Some charismatic individuals are more introverted, for sure, but generally speaking the charismatic individual tends to have leadership qualities.
He or she will emerge in a crisis and will never back down or seek for others to fix their problems.
The charismatic individual projects an air of authority and of knowing what to do.
If people seem to turn to you for help or answers and you have no idea why, consider this:
You may be much more charismatic than you realize.
10) People tend to see the best in you even when it would be easy for them to see the worst
Last and very importantly in the signs you’re a highly charismatic person (even if you don’t realize it) is that people tend to see the best in you.
Shows like “Everybody Hates Chris” explore the opposite of this:
That show is a comedic take on a young man who can’t catch a break and always gets blamed and bad luck no matter how pure his intentions and actions.
The charismatic individual is the opposite:
He or she seems to constantly get given the benefit of the doubt. People just seem to assume that this person is somebody who knows what they’re doing and should be respected.
Why?
Many times the answer will be unclear.
If you dig beneath the surface enough you will often find that it’s not credentials, good looks, reputation or anything external that’s feeding this positive perception of somebody:
It’s their innate, magnetic charisma that somehow just comes through everything they say and do.
The truth about charisma
The truth about charisma is that it is partly contextual.
At an auto show, a knowledgeable mechanic is going to be the star of the show, but at a literature convention a Shakespeare expert will rule the roost.
Your expertise and brilliance will be recognized in the right habitat!
But at the same time, there are people who are just naturally charismatic and win the trust and affection of others.
Checking out the signs above should give you a good idea of whether you might be one of them.
