There is nothing more appealing than confidence.
When you show that you’re confident, people naturally believe you’re capable of great things. However, some people don’t naturally feel confident, so they “fake it till they make it.”
Do you think there is any difference between pseudo-confidence and the real one?
Could you differentiate a truly confident person from someone who fakes it?
The truth is that most people can recognize pseudo-confidence because it’s unattractive and makes a person appear untrustworthy. Pseudo-confidence can even appear like narcissism.
So, in this article, we’ll talk about the 14 signs of a confident person that can’t be faked.
1) Confident people accept compliments
How you accept compliments says a lot about how confident you really are.
Denying a compliment or allowing it to shape your self-image would give the impression of low self-confidence, if not a lack of it. A genuinely confident person would accept a compliment with ease.
Overreacting to a compliment could indicate that the opinions of those around you easily influence your self-confidence. True self-confidence cannot be increased or decreased based on external validation alone.
2) They don’t shy away from criticism
Confident people are not fully immune to criticism and its emotional effects.
However, they know how to take it gracefully, even if the criticism is not constructive.
Their inner strength allows them to see a negative comment someone can make from an objective point of view.
When you’re a secure person, it’s easier to handle negative feelings that may come from receiving criticism.
People who are really confident can use the criticism to their advantage to either improve themselves or to understand those that criticize them.
After all, none of us is perfect, and we all make mistakes.
3) Asking for help doesn’t freak them out
People with genuine self-confidence understand and make peace with their current strengths and limitations.
This is why they don’t hesitate to ask for help.
After all, not being able to cope by yourself doesn’t mean you are weak. No one knows everything, and we all are social creatures who survived throughout history because we helped each other.
Confident people know when they need help from those more experienced in the field.
They understand that seeking advice and learning from others is a huge part of becoming successful.
4) Confident folks are compassionate
Those with pseudo-confidence try to augment their low self-esteem by putting others down.
They tend to be critical of other people’s faults and undermine their accomplishments. They project their own insecurities on others. It makes them feel better about themselves when they are above others.
On the other hand, confident people are compassionate. They focus on other people’s strengths and potential for growth rather than their weaknesses.
And they don’t need to put others down to feel good about themselves. On the contrary, they’re the first ones to cheer up someone’s accomplishments and to celebrate when their friends or colleagues succeed.
This quality is impossible to fake because true happiness for others is a very bright trait.
5) They’re persistent in what they do
Confident people believe in their capability to become better people. Yes, they know their worth, but they’re also life-long students who are eager to learn new things in life.
Hence, when they experiment with some new skill, they are persistent in their desire to form this new habit.
This confidence lets them persevere through mistakes and setbacks in life.
They recognize that these pitfalls are normal and part of the journey. Making mistakes isn’t something they try to avoid because that’s the best learning opportunity. That’s why even theories that didn’t work out are still kept in scientific books.
People with real confidence recognize that mistakes have a huge potential for them to better understand their weaknesses and become stronger and smarter.
6) True confidence means consistency
Genuinely confident people are aware that they have weaknesses, both known and unknown.
However, this fact does not shake their confidence. Even when they are unpopular or criticized, a genuinely confident person’s self-image does not waver.
A strong person knows their values and stands by what they believe in. They are consistent in their beliefs, and they have strong opinions about things.
Yes, they can change them during their lifetime, but if they believe in kindness and supporting others–they’ll hold to this belief no matter what.
7) Confident people support others
A person with pseudo-confidence can compensate for their lack of self-esteem by bragging or exaggerating their strengths and accomplishments.
They often compliment others for their own benefit.
On the other hand, confident people uplift other people even if it doesn’t benefit them. They strive to make people feel appreciated and more confident in themselves.
It’s just easier to love other people when you love yourself!
People with genuine confidence don’t need external validation. This way, they are able to help others without feeling like they lack something if someone gains something or succeeds.
8) They don’t worry about things outside of their control
Confident people have a good understanding of themselves and their limitations.
They know there are things that are outside of their control and that there is no point in worrying about such things too much.
Just as they can accept their own limits, they can accept the limitations of a situation and simply make the best of it.
People with genuine self-confidence do what they can, making peace with the fact that it’s all they can do.
9) They are assertive
As someone who is secure in their values and the decisions they make based on them, confident people are assertive.
Knowing what their strengths are, confident people take charge when they know they can excel at a task or project.
When it comes to relationships, they don’t hesitate to answer questions about their needs, expectations, opinions, or themselves. You can trust a confident person to be honest, but they’ll also expect honesty from you.
10) They avoid bragging
People tend to brag as a way of seeking external validation. This is often done by those who don’t think very highly of themselves. They ask for positive attention from others because they have difficulty giving it to themselves.
And trust me, I’ve been there too, so there’s no judgment in what I say.
People with genuine confidence, on the other hand, seldom publicly share their accomplishments. Instead, they’d share with those who matter. They don’t talk about their success with just anyone.
Confident people have the security needed to maintain a humble image and do great things at the same time.
11) They are honest with their expressions
How can you tell when someone’s confidence is genuine and not fake?
A confident person’s non-verbal cues should match what they are saying. This especially shows in a person’s smile towards others, whether or not it reaches their eyes.
People who use that strange fake smile (I’m sure you know what I mean) aren’t really giving you the “confident vibe.” They appear insincere and give the impression that they want to please others to get something from them.
On the other hand, those with genuine confidence have nothing to hide. Their true confidence shines through both their words and their actions. Their emotions are very vivid on their faces, so when they smile–their eyes smile too!
12) They’re not perfectionists
Insecurity is a nightmare for those striving for perfection. At the same time, perfectionists don’t accept mistakes, neither from themself nor from others.
As such, people with pseudo-confidence tend to deny their mistakes or blame a situation or another person for that. It does nothing but harm them and prevent them from improving themselves.
Being secure about yourself means understanding and accepting your weaknesses as much as your limitations.
There’s nothing wrong with being imperfect! We all are beautifully imperfect in our own ways.
13) They listen more than they talk
Those with pseudo-confidence tend to talk a lot. They do it to appear confident and to feed their fragile self-esteem’s hunger for validation.
Their lack of confidence makes them somewhat self-centered in this way.
Confident people, on the other hand, don’t always need to be the center of attention, so it is easier for them not to waste words and let their actions speak for themselves. Rather than having a monologue, they can listen to those around them.
Their self-confidence gives them the room and energy to shift their focus on others. It helps them build healthy relationships as they sincerely wish to understand people.
14) They let guilt motivate them without feeding it
Genuinely confident people are well aware of their mistakes, making them far from immune to feeling guilty.
However, their stable self-esteem helps them accept this feeling without beating themselves up. They understand that feelings exist to protect us. They know guilt protects us from stagnation or continuing behavior that is detrimental to ourselves or others.
If you’re able to develop a stable self-image and real confidence, you can weather and even grow from the worst feelings and the dumbest mistakes you’d make.
Pseudo-confidence is as flimsy as the self-esteem it is built on.
It is usually obvious and may even appear unpleasant, not only in its falsehood but also from the unattractive behaviors that stem from insecurity.
Gaining true confidence is not easy, especially when the person denies their lack of it. This is why those who are confident are aware of themselves and honest about their limitations. Confidence lets people have a better relationship with not only themselves but with other people as well. And it’s never to late to work on your self-esteem!