The funny thing with people is that those who claim to be “deep” and “complex” turn out to be quite shallow.
So it’s understandable if you’d be wary about asking that out loud. But you just can’t help but be curious if you are.
Well, to help you out, I’ve listed down 10 signs that you have a complex personality that others can’t handle.
1) You aren’t afraid to go against the grain
Wherever you may be, there’s always a subtle pressure to conform—that is, to agree with what everyone is saying uncritically.
But let’s be real. Just because everyone agrees on something doesn’t mean it’s right. I mean, there was a time when people thought that the Sun moved around the Earth.
So because of that, you don’t want to just do or agree with something just because everyone else is doing it.
And, of course, people sometimes just can’t handle you because of this!
However, you’d rather think for yourself and be wrong once or twice than to follow the herd and always be correct.
2) You’re sensitive
And well, how could you not be?
You simply feel too much at once, and notice too many things that other people either take for granted or even outright ignore.
You might even have had people calling you a killjoy or tell you that you’re overreacting. They might even say that you’re moody and irrational and perhaps you might have even believed them now and then.
In fact people might have gotten the impression that they simply don’t know what might set you off and spend their time walking on eggshells around you.
This is not because you are “too much” as they would put it. It’s simply because you’re complex, sensitive, and they simply don’t bother trying to understand you fully.
3) You believe things aren’t always what they seem
People would say that you’re a worrywart, or that things are “not as deep” as you’re making them out to be.
Sometimes you almost feel tempted to agree with them and think that maybe, just maybe, you’re overthinking things. Sometimes they’re right and you are indeed overthinking.
But most of the time, people simply say that because you bothered to look past the surface and think critically, where others simply don’t.
You know that things aren’t always what they seem, so you put in effort to tease out things other people easily dismiss as trite.
4) You want to experience life to the fullest
Life is whatever you make of it, and you would rather live a life that’s as full as can be, in whatever way possible.
That means that you would look into the people around you, listen to them, and try to broaden your perspective.
And by broaden, I really do mean broaden—you would happily get into things that people would have never thought you’d try, like dating someone who’s totally not your type or going skydiving because you simply hadn’t done it before.
Of course, other people will simply see you as someone impulsive, undisciplined or restless. But you don’t care. What’s more important for you is to experience life and all the things it has to offer.
5) You try to look into other perspectives
The way we think is dictated by what we were exposed to growing up.
If you grew up in a Christian household in America, your perspective will be very different from that of a Buddhist in India or an Atheist in the Netherlands.
Most people don’t bother to look past the perspective they grew up with… and why would they? It takes too much effort.
But you don’t do that.
If anything, you enjoy trying to understand perspectives different from yours and will happily read about other cultures’ philosophies and listen to people try to explain their side.
6) You hate it when people talk in black and white
You often find yourself exhausted or uneasy during discussions, especially when the topic of the day is especially sensitive or controversial.
Everyone thinks too much in black and white as far as you’re concerned, and rarely try to think about nuances or bother challenging their own assertions.
People will hate you for this, maybe even calling you contrarian or pretentious or difficult. But you don’t care.
The world exists in shades of gray as far as you’re concerned, so you would rather take everything in moderation—and yes, that includes moderation itself. Despite what people might say, you aren’t exactly an “enlightened centrist”—you know how to take a stand.
7) You love to discuss
You would hear about the latest happening on the news or catch wind of some big controversy on social media and you simply can’t help but want to discuss it with people.
Unfortunately people tend to misunderstand your motivations and assume that you’re simply eager to start arguments or pick fights.
You can’t blame them because if you think about it, arguments do happen around you quite often.
Even then, you’ll keep trying to raise discussion whenever you can. As far as you’re concerned, everyone could use a bit of critical thinking and put their biases to the test.
8) You’re often lost in your own thoughts
You would zone out and get lost in your thoughts all the time.
You might be walking down the street, but instead of looking around and paying attention to what you’re doing, you’re turning thoughts around in your head.
Perhaps you’re crunching numbers or imagining a world of your own springing to life. Or perhaps you’re having a hypothetical argument with yourself about whatever you might be fascinated by at the moment.
And you have probably been called out over it at one time or another, perhaps for being inattentive or being always easily distracted or bored.
The thing is that it’s not normal for most people to do this all the time, actually. Most people find that much thinking exhausting, so they’d rather not delve into their thoughts that much unless they absolutely have to.
9) You want to dig deeper
You don’t settle for just taking what you’re handed. When you get new information, you don’t want to just take it as is—you would actually go out and try to find the source.
In fact, you can almost see yourself being a professor rejecting student papers citing wikipedia and instead demand that they actually cite the primary sources.
You’re well aware that simply taking other people’s word uncritically can lead to bad things down the line. Humans are, after all, naturally biased and those biases will affect how they would pass the news on.
Of course, this dedication to truth isn’t without its drawbacks. Some people can’t stand it when you doubt their words and get violent and aggressive when you ask them for their sources.
But hey, who’s to say that everyone can handle people who want to get to the root of things? If they call you “complex” because of it, then so be it!
10) You refuse to be put in a box
It’s all but a given that someone will try to stereotype you at some point in your life.
The thing is that…there are a lot of stereotypes out there for basically every single thing in the world.
Ever gone on a specific dating app? There’s a stereotype for that. Drove a specific brand of car? There’s a stereotype for that, too. Were you born from a specific place, or believe a certain creed? Then yes, that too.
And yet you somehow manage to deny all of them.
Whenever people try to fit you in a box because of something, you end up refusing to stay in the box.
The reason for that is because you have a complex personality. People with more complex personalities tend to be especially hard to stereotype, and are frustrating for people with rather shallow personalities to deal with.
Sadly, a lot of the world is shallow, and that’s why a lot of people can’t handle you.
There’s a very real reason why complex personalities tend to be hard for other people to handle, and if you came here to perhaps understand why people don’t always handle you well… hopefully you’ll have found your answer.
Everyone could try being a bit more complex, but life is exhausting and not everyone has the energy to think a bit more deeply.
That’s why even if you do have a complex personality, it’s better to just try and tolerate people who are “simpler” than you are…and just stay being complex because it’s not something you should be ashamed about.