16 signs a man is emotionally attached to you (and wants to commit)

Men usually take a while to commit.

But once they get emotionally attached and they’re sure you’re the one, they won’t waste their time in letting you know.

Well… most men, anyway. There are some men who aren’t so expressive with words and instead just double down in their actions, hoping that you’ll get a clue.

To help you figure out your man, here in this article, I will enumerate 16 signs that a man is already emotionally attached to you and is ready to commit.

1) He makes an effort to understand you.

A man who is emotionally attached to you goes through the effort to understand who you really are.

He wouldn’t be content with simply knowing a few things about you. He’d dig deeper and study who you are.

Let’s say that you’re a vegan. Most people would be content to simply take that fact and assume that you share the ideals of the “stereotypical” vegan and that you act like one.

He, on the other hand, would try to ask you what motivated you to pick up veganism instead, and then ask you what kind of foods you like and would even try to be one for you.

There is no judgment or condescension when he asks you, because it’s clear from the way he speaks that he’s being earnest.

And while others might assume that they understand you based on the few things they know about you, a man who is emotionally attached to you will instead believe that there’s still so much about you that he doesn’t know.

2) He likes to reach out all the time.

A guy who’s attached to you just can’t seem to have enough of you.

It’s almost like he’ll up and shrivel if he spends too much time without you. So he does his best to reach out to you, to make himself present in your life…even if it’s just through texting.

The exact details vary. Different men do different things. Some might try to send you at least one message a week, and others try to make contact at least once a day. Some of the more cute/ annoying ones try to reach out once every six hours.

Others aren’t that comfortable with reaching out when they don’t have a solid idea of what to do with your time, and instead try to invite you into all the different things they do.

This isn’t always a good thing, though. Sure, it might seem cute to have a guy who likes you so much that they must talk to you all the time.

But depending on how desperate he seems, or how badly he takes it when you can’t respond to him straightaway, it might also mean that he’s needy, possessive, or insecure.

3) He tries to get to know your friends and family better.

A guy who’s not yet ready to commit to you would find it a burden to meet your friends. He’d think “Why should I go through that trouble if I won’t be with this girl for long?” or “It’s not like we’re getting married!”

But a man who is emotionally attached to you will be fascinated by the people you surround yourself with, and try to befriend them, too.

This is a bigger deal than it might seem at first—after all, by befriending your friends, he’s making himself vulnerable. And if he ever does you wrong, then he’s opening himself up to being cut off or even attacked by your friends.

That he reaches out to them as well is a sign that he cares. This is doubly the case if he lets you into his circle of friends as well.

This means he wants you to have a shared life.

4) He acts like he’s your hero.

Men are driven by something called the “hero instinct”—a compulsion in men to play the role of the defender.

And this is probably one of the reasons why you got him emotionally attached to you!

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And it’s something most women don’t know anything about—or understand. It’s also what those popular ladies are taking advantage of, whether they know it or not.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or dress him in a cape just to deepen his emotional attachment to you.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

5) He checks out the things you like.

He will want to get closer to you, so he’s going to learn more about the things you like.

If you like fishing, he’s going to read about fishing. If you like cooking, he might pick up a new cookbook.

Shared interests go a long way to building and strengthening a relationship. They’re something for the two of you to bond over, to discuss over a cup of tea.

People are familiar with this, and many try to fake that interest. But of course, he’s not faking. You see him actually putting in an effort to enjoy your interests.

This doesn’t mean that people should like the same things all the time to be together, or to be close to one another. But the more interests you have in common, the better.

6) He champions your causes.

As a rule of thumb, people don’t pick up a cause willy-nilly. It’s one of those big, consequential decisions that can have real consequences.

So if a man happily joins you in whatever it is you make a stand on, and you know they didn’t really think much about it before they knew you, then you can be sure that he is emotionally attached to you.

This is especially the case if you fight for something controversial. But even if your cause is something that nobody has any issues with—like supporting cancer treatment clinics—it still takes a lot of time and energy that he could have spent on himself.

This means he truly likes you for who you are and that he’s “investing” his time on you. Of course, if he’s just done it once or twice, it doesn’t mean anything. But if he’s been with you on this for months and he’s consistent, then he’s already hooked.

7) He makes you feel heard.

It might sound surprising, but people don’t actually listen to one another. What people do, instead, is listen to what they want to hear.

A man who cares for you, however, will go through the effort of actually listening to you—to avoid talking over you and to ask for clarification when it’s clear that the two of you are in disagreement.

This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man feels useful and needed, he’s more likely to get emotionally attached to you. And what better way to make himself “useful” than to be that one person who truly understands you?

And the best part is that once the ball gets rolling, it keeps on rolling. And sometimes all you need to start it off is one well-worded text.

You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

8) He changes the things in him that you dislike.

You told him that you hated that he smokes before breakfast, and you notice that he stopped doing it. You told him how his beard made him look like a grandpa, so he shaved.

Men don’t just go through the effort to change themselves unless someone they are attached to motivates them.

And, well, if he’s interested in you, he’s going to be very motivated to make himself someone you like hanging around.

If he insists on smoking before breakfast, for example, he runs the risk that you might get so frustrated with him you’ll simply leave.

9) He apologizes when he messes up.

Many men aren’t that fond of apologies.

If they mess up, they might just shrug off and say something like “oh, it’s not a big deal” or something similar.

Some even get mad and try to blame you for being too sensitive.

The reason for this lies in apathy and pride. Apologizing to you would be a massive blow to their pride, and most of them would rather see their ego intact than care for how you feel.

But a man who is emotionally attached to you won’t do that. After all, why would he? It’d hurt you and even make you dislike him.

It will still sting his pride to admit that he’s wrong, and actually trying to do something about it might chafe on him at first. But because he cares about you, he’s willing to set all of that aside.

Besides, it will hurt him more if he sees you hurting.

10) He cares about your satisfaction in bed.

One way you can really figure out if a man truly cares about you, or if he’s simply doing things for his own benefit, is to pay attention to how he treats you in bed.

Even if he isn’t the best lover to grace your sheets, if he cares about you he will do his best to make sure you’re happy and satisfied.

In fact, he might put your own pleasure above his! And because of that, there’s a warmth when you’re together. An emotional bond.

A man who is simply concerned about himself, on the other hand, simply won’t care about that.

Such a man can be experienced with sex, but he will be more focused on making himself feel good. And if you ever feel good, it’s just a consequence. This can lead to hot, yet soulless nights in the sheets.

11) He opens his heart to you.

If there’s anything men hate more than anything, it’s the feeling of being vulnerable.

This is not necessarily because they’re men, but because people expect men to be tough and stoic and any sort of vulnerability is weakness.

“Men don’t cry” is a phrase that they get told over and over again.

So if he opens his heart to you and gives you a glimpse into his personal struggles—especially if he’s not the “open book” type, it means that he’s very, very emotionally attached to you.

It means you’re someone important to him, and that he trusts you.

He trusts you not to leave him behind or judge him for having emotions and finds comfort in your presence.

Don’t break that trust.

Even if you grew up thinking that emotional men are weak, don’t push it in his face. Try to accept and understand him. Maybe try baring your heart to him too, and you might just bond over it.

12) He doesn’t like to go to bed angry.

People get into fights all the time, even people who care for each other a lot. A bit of squabble here and there is indeed part of a healthy relationship.

Whether or not a man is attached to you will show in how he behaves after such conflicts.

A man who couldn’t care less about you wouldn’t put in the effort into calming things down, and might in fact just wait for you to take the first step.

On the other hand, a man who is emotionally invested in you will hate the idea of the two of you going to bed angry. If anything, he’ll probably worry that maybe you’ll decide you hate him when the sun rises.

So whenever it is possible, he’s going to want to reconcile, or at least defuse things a little if the two of you had gotten into a big fight that day. And even if he can’t resolve it that night, he’s going to try again the day after.

13) He goes out of his way to make you happy.

A man who is attached to you will do all sorts of things—both big and small—to make you happy. And he does it because the very act of making you happy gives him joy.

He buys you ice cream, candy, or biscuits without being asked. He happily showers you with compliments all the time. You might find yourself thinking “what did I do to deserve this?”

But you’ll know when he’s really ready to commit to you when he goes out of his way to show you how much he cares.

That means that even if he’s busy all day at work, he’ll pass by your favorite restaurant to buy your favorite soup because you have a cold.

That means that even if he is not the type who’d sing in front of everyone, he’d do so because it’s your birthday.

14) He thinks of you as a given in his life.

Whenever he talks about his plans, there’s no need to change things to fit you in because you will almost always have already been accounted for.

Whenever he talks of the future, it’s a given that you will be part of it in one way or another.He sees you as an integral part of his life, just like how the sun is an integral part of daytime.

The idea of a future without you in it is simply something he doesn’t account for.

And, to make things even better, he might not even be aware that he’s doing it. That means, it’s most certainly an unconscious decision.

You can consider this to be close to the ultimate sign that a man is emotionally attached to you, but it’s not necessarily a good sign.

Sometimes it means that he has come to see you as a friend, rather than a potential partner—that is to say, you might be in the dreaded friendzone.

And once you’re put in the friendzone, it can be hard to get out of there. In times such as these, you could always use some outside help to get you unstuck.

Relationship Hero is the best site I’ve found for love coaches who aren’t just talk. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to break people out of the friendzone.

Personally, I tried them last year while going through the mother of all crises in my own love life. They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions.

My coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to check them out.

15) He makes time for you.

Time, it is argued, is our most important resource. There’s only so much of it that we have to spare, especially in this busy world we live in.

And as much as people like to say that a man who truly cares for you will always find a way to be by your side when you need it, it simply is not so.

We all have work and life outside the relationship.

But it is true, however, that a man who’s emotionally attached will always try to find a way to be there for you when you need him. If he is busy with work, he’s going to try hard to free up his schedule for you, even if it means that he has to work himself to the bone.

In contrast, a man who isn’t emotionally invested in you won’t bother. After all, if he couldn’t care less about you or what you thought about him, why should he push himself just to give you his time of day?

16) He doesn’t like being “out of sync” with you.

The very last thing that a man wants is to feel like he’s out of touch with someone he’s emotionally attached to.

He wants to know what you’re up to, where you’re going, how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking.

When you’re not your usual self, he wants to know how you’re feeling. More importantly, he wants to know if you still feel the same way about him.

Intimacy is being able to read each other and feeling like you have a world of your own. When he feels like he can’t read you or that you’re out of the little world you’ve created, he’d worry like crazy and try all his might so you’ll be in sync again.


By now you should have a better idea of the many signs that say when a man is emotionally attached to you.

If you see most of the traits listed above in your man, you’re one lucky gal!

If you notice some of the signs but you’re not that convinced, maybe you need to do some magic.

The best way to encourage your man to take your relationship to the next level is by making him feel like a million bucks.


I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts. You’ll not only strengthen his desire for you, you might even make him decide to commit to you sooner.

By watching guides from experts such as this free video, you can learn how to trigger his instincts safely.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge,be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

Help! My boyfriend is codependent with his sister (SOLVED)

10 ways to deal with someone who won’t give you a straight answer