14 Signs his ex-wife wants him back (and how to stop her) 

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So you’ve finally met the man of your dreams. Everything is going well, except for the fact that it seems like his ex-wife wants him back.

And while it may just be intuition on your part, here, I’m going to show you how to know for sure. Better yet, I’ll give you tips on stopping her from getting your man.

Let’s get right into it!

14 signs his ex-wife wants him back

1) She’s contacting him all of a sudden

You know for a fact that your man and his ex-wife are civil, but they’re not really on chummy communicating terms.

So you need to be wary if she’s blowing up his phone, social media accounts, and even his email.

His ex-wife is trying to establish their old communication ties back, most likely in an attempt to get him back.

“People who want to move on generally don’t engage in regular contact, as they are trying to forget about you.

The reason this is a sign of them having second thoughts about ending things is that they are suddenly willing to have you in their daily life again,” explains Anna Scheucher in her article.

2) In fact, she contacts him regularly when she’s drunk

We all know about the drunk dialing syndrome. As HackSpirit founder Lachlan Brown explains, “Alcohol has a way of making you more honest with your emotions.”

He explains that a girl straight-up likes your man “if she’s messaging and calling when she’s drunk. She’s obviously got him on her mind and alcohol is forcing her to take action.”

3) She’s trying to make him feel like a hero

Is his ex-wife asking for ‘manly’ favors, like picking her up in a shady neighborhood – or simply moving her heavy furniture?

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.

Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, the hero instinct is a fascinating concept about what drives men in relationships.

This is ingrained in their DNA that most women don’t know anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

That’s why his ex is trying hard to ‘activate’ it!

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The easiest thing to do is check out James Bauer’s excellent free video. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12-word text that will immediately trigger his hero instinct.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

4) She’s trying hard to make him jealous

His ex-wife saw how happy he is with you. It made her realize that she wants him back. This is why she’s doing something most do: trying to make their ex jealous.

As Pearl Nash explains in her article:

“The reality is that when we feel good about ourselves and our lives, it’s incredibly attractive to others.

Self-belief and confidence are powerful aphrodisiacs that people can sense and feel automatically drawn to.

This way, you’ve become far more appealing to your ex again.

Not only do your best qualities come across, but it most likely triggers some FOMO in them. They want in on the action.”

See, she wants to test him to see if he’ll react to her sexier post-treatment figure – or her steamy story about a young, chiseled dreamboat.

More than just flaunting her conquest, she’s “obviously looking for reactions,” remarks Lachlan.

5) She acts as if they’re still married

If she acts as if they’re still married – just short of living in his place and sleeping with him – then it’s a glaring clue.

For example, he could still be calling him her old pet name. Worse, she could be telling their friends that they’re still together (even though they’re not.)

This could be her way to reel him back into her arms. She is trying to reminisce about the good old days, which is a definite no-BS sign that she definitely wants her back!

6) She’s love-bombing him

Out-of-the-blue praises.

Cute gifts just cause.

While it may seem good tidings on her part, it’s actually her way of winning him back through love-bombing.

This kind of romantic manipulation is done to make the receiving end – your man – feel vulnerable.

Explains Lachlan:

“This leaves the victim feeling deeply indebted to their supposed romantic partner, and thus vulnerable to whatever their partner might want of them.”

In simpler terms: she’s showing him so much luck, so he’s indebted to give the same degree of affection back.

7) She’s often saying bad things about you

It’s no secret that there’s palpable tension between you and his ex-wife. And if she’s making an effort to say bad things about you, it’s apparent that she wants to reconcile with him.

She thinks destroying your image will make him leave you – and reconnect with her.

Explains Lachlan:

Toxic people cannot be happy for you no matter how much you have or accomplished in your life. So much so that they are willing to push you out of the way to get it.”

8) She’s trying to seduce him

Low-cut tops. Super short skirt. Thirst trap pictures she ‘accidentally’ sends to him.

Yes, she’s flirting with him because she wants to win him back.

What’s important, though, is you be on the lookout for more than just physical signs. She may be trying to seduce your man with words, too.

Texting flirtatiously.

Talking about what she wants to do to him.

Making him feel like a hero, as I’ve mentioned before.

9) She still has some things left in his place

Now that they’re divorced, all her stuff should be gone, right? Sure, that should be the case if she’s really over her ex.

But if she’s not, you can expect some of her things to still lie around in his place. So don’t be surprised if she also left some of her intimates and lingerie in his drawer!

For her, it’s a way to keep a ‘connection’ between them. She also thinks that it’ll remind him constantly of her.

Yes, she’s trying to work the reminiscence trick again.

10) She’s always ‘there’

Say you go on a date in a romantic restaurant or on a trip to a secluded campsite.

For some reason, she’s always there wherever you are.

It’s not a coincidence (though she’s trying hard to make him believe it’s the case.)

You see, she’s trying to make it appear like it’s fate or destiny that they keep seeing/finding each other.

She thinks it might convince him to see that he’s meant to be with her, not you.

11) She keeps on posting sweet throwback pictures

There are a lot of pictures she could post—for example, her children, pets, or hobbies, among many other things.

But she chooses to post sweet pictures of them in the past. Photos that will indeed make you go crazy and start up a fight!

It’s actually a smart move on her part. According to a report, “ looking back at old photos makes 56% of us feel happy.”

On top of that, “When people review pictures on their phones, studies have shown that this not only helps your memories by enabling comforting and pleasurable conversations with families and friends, but it also triggers primary and positive emotions like joy, love, and delight. So looking back at our photos strengthens memory, relationships, and our overall sense of well-being.”

Reminiscence is good, yes, but it can strike a blow in your relationship. As such, you need to be careful, for she’s doing this to make you doubt him. And, if you give in, that means she has been successful in building a rift between you two.

12) She’s making it look like it’s him who wants her back

Although it’s her who wants him back, a desperate woman will frame it the other way around.

Talk about reverse psychology, “a strategy that many people use to influence a situation to achieve their desired outcome.”

She thinks this will cause tension between you two. Once this happens, it’ll be easier for her to get him back.

13) Her body language says so

His ex-wife may be good at hiding that she still likes him. But like many other secrets, you can get the real deal by observing her body language.

See, her lips can lie, but her entire body can’t. So make sure to be on the lookout for these signs:

  • Her body is always pointed towards your man
  • She casually touches his arms or shoulders
  • She tilts her head when talking to him
  • She mirrors the way he acts
  • She caresses anything he’s holding
  • She acts all nervous

14) She admits that it’s her fault…after all these years

While it may look noble initially, it may not always be the case. This is especially true if, for the longest time, she hadn’t owned up to her mistakes.

See, she may be admitting her fault – and working things through – all in an attempt to get him back.

It’s an excellent emotional trigger, after all.

Then again, “it is sometimes true that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone,” explains Pearl in her article.

She adds: “Regret over breaking up with someone is common. We all make mistakes, and it is possible that your ex has realized theirs and won’t make the same mistake twice.”

She thinks that by showing him that she’s remorseful and changed, he’ll have a go of the relationship again.

What to do

1) Seek the help of a relationship professional

While this article explores the main signs his ex-wife is trying to win him back, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through difficult love situations. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a seemingly unsolvable issue. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how caring, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

2) Tell him about your concerns

It’s bothering you, and you need to tell him.

It may be uncomfortable at first, but it needs to be done – especially if you want to be able to resolve this issue.

Remember: communication is key to a healthy relationship.

3) Set boundaries

There’s nothing stopping him from seeing his ex-wife, especially if his children are with her. But if you want to keep your man, setting some boundaries is a must.

For example, you may want him to decline her love-bombing gifts. You may also want to convince him to return the remaining things from his place.

Just remember: when setting boundaries, talk about things peacefully. You don’t want to seem like the crazy, clingy girlfriend in this case.

4) Resist the urge to be petty

It’s tempting to fight his ex because she’s encroaching your territory.

In any case, you should resist the urge to do so.

Remember: when someone is mean to you, it’s always best to be the bigger woman. Explains Anna, a fellow writer:

“Sure, in the heat of the moment, pumped up with adrenalin, you will feel like you’re doing the right thing.

Ten minutes later, when you’ve calmed down, you will realize there was no point to it.

All that will really do is fuel the fire of mean behavior, helping it spread even more.

If you genuinely want this situation to improve, you need to be the bigger person.

Whether that means meeting them with kindness, calling them out, or walking away is up to you.”

5) …But don’t hesitate to fight fire with fire

You’ve got serious competition, and you wouldn’t want to back down from it.

If the ex-wife is dressing to impress, then you should too. Not only will it make your man obsessed with you, but it’ll also make her unbelievably jealous of you!

6) Always make him feel like a hero

If his ex-wife is making him feel like a hero, it’s time you did too!

Remember: When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to choose you over his ex.
The best part is that triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.
You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

7) Show respect

His ex might be driving you crazy, but that doesn’t mean you should show disrespect in your relationship.

In other words, you shouldn’t disregard his choices, freedom, and personal space – even if his ex continues to violate them.

As Mona Sutphen reminds us all, “Most good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect.”

8) Strengthen your relationship

If another woman is after your man, it’ll easier for him to budge in if your relationship remains weak.

That said, you need to work on your relationship – and make it stronger.

Talk about things. Resolve the most pressing problems, especially this one.

At the end of the day, it’ll make your relationship healthy (and unbreakable!)

9) Keep it interesting

You don’t want to make your relationship boring or routinary. Doing so may allow his ex to swoop in and get him back.

If you want to keep your man hooked, you must keep things interesting.

Surprise him.

Leave him notes here and there.

Show appreciation for his hobbies and passions.

There are so many things that you could do to keep the relationship fire burning!

Final thoughts

By now, you should have a better idea that his ex-wife wants him back.
The key now is doing something about it. Specifically, this means getting through to your man in a way that empowers him.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.




Putting yourself first

Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.

What’s your number one goal at the moment?

Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?

To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?

Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?

Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.

And even then…plans fail.

But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…

No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.

I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.

Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.

She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.

Click here to find out more about Life Journal.

So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.

How much do you want it?

Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?

If so, check out the workshop here.

If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!

All the best,

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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