Pearl Nash
I want to tell you about a friend of mine and how she met a guy who almost ruined her life.
My friend’s name is Alexandra or Alex for short. The guy’s name is Dick. Yes, life can be funny sometimes.
Nowadays we call him Dicky Boy.
He took my girl’s heart and put it through a blender for over a year, after she had dropped everything to go and be with him. Don’t worry, I do have her permission to tell you all this story. We both just don’t want any more women to get taken in by guys like this.
Dicky had it all on the surface: looks, charm, the job, the car…
I admit even now that his sense of humor is pretty funny and it’s enough to disarm any girl who’s not paying attention.
Alex wasn’t paying (enough) attention, and Dicky snagged her fully. Then the emotional abuse began.
Turns out Dicky was a Grade A narcissist from the old school who liked to start little fights every few days over nothing.
Turns out Dicky never stood up for Alex when she needed support at work, with her family or with things she was going through.
Turns out Dicky…was a dick.
When they broke up, I wasn’t surprised. I felt bad for Alex, but I admit I was glad she was done with that smirking human dishrag.
It was hard. And she didn’t get over Dicky easily at all. She was convinced he was the right guy for her and tried to get back with him a number of times. We all told her he wasn’t the right guy.
Eventually, I think it started to sink in…
Months of heartbreak and girls’ nights later, Alex finally met someone right.
His name was Valerio and he was a Latino prince. Better yet, he treated Alex like a princess.
Myself and all Alex’s friend circle were excited. We could tell that Valerio had the goods. He was masculine but not pushy, smart but not boringly intellectual, caring but not a simp.
These are the biggest things that stood out about Valerio. Here’s how I knew he was the guy for my girl.
1) He supports her through thick and thin
That’s not a comment about Alex’s weight, I mean it in a metaphorical way.
Valerio doesn’t shy away from supporting her whenever she needs it, and even sometimes when she doesn’t know she does.
He’s been key in helping her get a job at a law firm she’s been wanting to work at for years, he’s encouraged her to patch up a rocky relationship with her brother, and he’s been by her side during a really rough year during lockdowns.
If you want to find the right man for you, find a man who will stick with you like he does.
2) He cares about meeting us and being in her life
Valerio doesn’t just care about Alex, he cares about her friends, family, and interests as well.
He often meets up for a drink with us, and I bring along my boyfriend as well.
Dicky never did that, he’d just text out of the blue and set Alex’s head spinning and dismiss the invitation whenever she asked him to hang with us.
The man who’s right for you won’t only be into you: he’ll be into your life.
Take note of that, because it’s really important.
3) The love connection they have is real and intense
It’s clear for all of us friends to see that the love connection between Alex and Valerio is the real deal.
I don’t mean public displays of affection or corny little texts and that crap.
I mean the energy that sizzles between them when you see them together and the obvious physical and spiritual attraction they have for each other.
With Dicky there was always a weird, off-putting tension. He seemed like he was “playing” Alex or kind of teasing her.
Valerio is no goody two-shoes, but he doesn’t tease or mess with her head.
He loves her, and she loves him. He’s right for her.
4) He cares about her and treats her right
Valerio treats Alex right and cares about her a lot.
He was by her side the whole time she was sick last year and he always does thoughtful things for her like giving her rides, massages and other naughtier things, too.
Alex likes to tell us girls about it and I’m a little jealous I admit!
Valerio is a superstar.
If a guy loves you and is right for you he’ll be generous with his time and energy.
5) He never takes her love for granted
Dicky treated Alex like she was a nobody or some girl who’s number he got at a drunken party.
He didn’t really respect her, and all of us could see it clearly.
Valerio never takes her love for granted.
He knows that he’s not “entitled” to anything and he challenges himself to live up to even higher standards on her behalf.
6) He doesn’t depend on her for his happiness
Last but far from least, Valerio doesn’t guilt-trip Alex or act like she’s responsible for his happiness.
Dicky was super codependent and blamed Alex if he even had a bad day.
She cared too much or not enough – it was always something.
Valerio takes responsibility for himself and doesn’t put it on her.
That’s how you know it’s the right guy.
Is he the right man for you?
Honestly, if he treats you anything like Valerio treats Alex the answer is probably yes!
Find a guy who treats you well and who you love and stick with him!
The kissing secret that makes men fall in love
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