Girls are known for playing hard to get, but what about guys?
Have you ever met a guy who seemed uninterested and yet somehow interested at the same time?
Have you been wondering about a guy with whom you feel a connection but you can’t quite put your finger on what he wants?
In this article, we’ll explore the signs he might be giving you to let you know he wants you to keep trying, even if it’s not coming right out and saying he wants to be with you.
Here are 21 signs he wants you to chase him:
1. He’s there and then he’s not.
You guys hang out and have a great time. You laugh and make plans and talk about the future…but nothing is happening.
He’s not trying to kiss you. He’s not making awkward advancements to the bedroom. He’s just there.
And then, he’s not.
He’s got somewhere to be or something to do and if you weren’t spending so much time together, you’d think he might be seeing someone else.
He’s just not into it on the surface even though you feel a deep connection.
2. He says things such as, “you know I love you” in passing.
You’re friends first and friends say, “I love you”, don’t they?
But the way he says it is different than the way your other friends say it. He means it, but yet, he’s not doing much about it.
He’s worried you’re not going to feel the same way. Have you ever told him you love him, even as a friend?
He might see you as unattainable. No pressure though, that’s his problem.
If you want to date him, you might have to take the lead on this one. He’s afraid of getting hurt.
3. He gets jealous when you talk about other guys.
He might not be asking you out, but he’s not thrilled when other guys ask you out on a date.
The fact that you said yes doesn’t sit well with him either.
But here’s the thing: he might think you’re his in his mind but until he tells you for real what he wants, and even if he does, you get to decide what you’re going to do. Always.
What’s that song? You should have put a ring on it.
He doesn’t need to propose marriage obviously, but he should make his move if he doesn’t want to lose you.
4. He is acting nervous around you
If he is acting nervous around you, then it might be because he likes you.
The reason he is feeling nervous has to do with his emotions.
He is feeling something strongly and is starting to realize that he loves you.
But because of this, he’ll want to impress you at all costs.
What does this do?
It puts pressure on him to perform! He wants to make you interested in him, which will make him nervous.
He doesn’t want to lose you, and he doesn’t want you to not like him.
But his nerves are the reason he isn’t making a move on you. It only makes him more nervous and and he doesn’t want to stuff up. For him, it would obviously be a lot easier if you make a move on him!
So how can you tell if he is nervous?
Nervous people tend to be more fidgety. He also might have trouble speaking clearly around you, which will cause him to speak less.
Another sign that someone is nervous is if they’re acting hyper or weird.
So if your man is acting a little hyper and telling weird jokes, keep in mind that he is just nervous because he likes you.
Once he starts feeling more comfortable, he’ll come around and start acting normal again. This is when he may muster up the courage to approach you and make a move.
Remember that if he loves you but is afraid to make a move on you this will only add to his nerves when he’s around you.
He’ll realize that he hasn’t exactly got total control over his emotions and that will make him scared, anxious, and fearful.
This will lead to even more nervous behavior than we spoke about above.
5. He constantly seeks out your advice
If he is asking for your opinion on important decisions that he needs to make, it’s obvious that he likes you.
It shows that he truly cares what you think. He thinks you’re intelligent and that you actually care about giving him good advice.
This is especially the case if he is revealing details about his life when he seeks your guidance. This is a great clue that he trusts you and desperately wants to bare his soul to you.
And if he really cares what you think, it means that he really cares about you.
But as you go through this article, you’ll see other signs that may prevent him from making a move.
But the fact that he is revealing so much to you probably means that he would absolutely love you to make a move on him.
6. He has shown signs of wanting to make a move but doesn’t.
He leans in for a kiss more times than you can count but he never goes through with it. It turns into a hug or an awkward cheek kiss.
There are probably a million reasons why he’s not going for it, but if you’re ready to be with him, do him a favour and call him on his bullshit already.
He’ll be relieved when you do. And you’ll both be happier for it.
7. He’s always there.
He might not feel like he needs to make a move to make you his girlfriend because, well, you’re always together already now.
What’s the point of risking what’s going on and going good with some physical intimacy.
Why put yourselves through what might only end badly? That’s one way of looking at it.
But if you want to break free from the fear of what might happen, you’re going to have to make a move.
He’s not going to. He’s already shown you his true colors over and over again.
It doesn’t mean he’s not worth it, but it does mean he’s going to need you to jump in and let him know you want things to happen between you.=
8. He quietly pays you a compliment.
He’s not looking to get the attention of the whole room; he just wants you to know that he’s been watching and paying attention. He doesn’t do it often, but just at the right moment.
And then, in true “chase me” fashion, he moves about his business as if nothing ever happened.
He’s waiting for you to jump in there and say something.
9. He talks about other women to see how you’ll react.
He’s not dating other women but he wants you to know that other women want to date him. He’s single though, so you might be worried there’s a reason for that.
Or, it could be that he’s waiting to see how you’ll react when you find out he is being pursued by other women.
Whatever your reaction, know this: he’s telling you this so you’ll ask him out too.
10. He kisses you on the cheek.
Friendly kisses are common between friends at all levels but there’s something special about the way he lays one on your cheek or forehead.
He’s all smiles and hanging around for something more but he just leaves it at that.
You might wonder if he’s shy or if he just doesn’t want more, but consider the fact that he is trying to tell you how he feels and for whatever reason, it’s not coming out the right way.
11. He wants to save the day
When you’ve had an argument with a friend, he’ll naturally take your side.
When you cross the road, he’ll put his body on the side of the traffic.
He can’t help it.
Even if he is afraid to admit that he likes you for various reasons, he won’t be able to control his actions of wanting to protect you and be your hero.
A study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal shows that male’s testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and well-being.
So naturally, if he loves you, he would want to protect you.
There’s actually a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that’s getting a lot of buzz at the moment.
It goes to the heart of the riddle about why men fall in love—and who they fall in love with.
This is deeply rooted in male biology.
People are calling it the hero instinct. I wrote a detailed primer about the concept which you can read here.
The kicker is that a man won’t fall in love with you when he doesn’t feel like your hero.
He wants to see himself as a protector. As someone you genuinely want and need to have around. Not as an accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.
I know this might sound a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into our DNA to seek out relationships that allow us to feel like a protector.
If you would like to learn more about the hero instinct, check out this free online video by the relationship psychologist who coined the term. He provides a fascinating insight into this new concept.
12. He’s hot and cold.
One minute he’s planting a friendly kiss on your forehead and the next he’s gone and you don’t hear from him for three days.
He might be worried about how you react to things like that or he’s afraid you’re going to reject him.
Either way, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that he wants you to make the next move.
13. He teases you.
Women have been taught that when men tease them it’s because they like them.
While this theory has been debunked for a while, men still do this.
It’s as if they all turn into children when they like a girl. This might explain why he can’t or won’t make a move.
He’s giving you all the signals to let you know he likes you (besides pulling your hair or throwing dirt in your face), so he’s over there wondering why you don’t see it already? He obviously likes you.
And also, make sure you have a talk to him about doing that. Nobody wants to date a child who picks on them.
14. He asks about your plans for the weekend.
He’s not suggesting you hang out together but he’s definitely interested in how you’re spending your time.
He’ll casually mention he doesn’t have any plans and then hold his breath to see what you say.
At this point, it probably feels pretty silly to have him going on like this around you. If you’re interested ask him out.
If not, put him out of his misery and move on. You don’t have time for games.
15. He isn’t making the first move.
He’s basically told you how he feels and he’s trying to play it cool, but it’s coming out all wrong.
He wants you to make the first move so that he has confidence in his feelings. It’s not always about sex – he might be nervous to just kiss you.
Guys, like girls, sometimes do weird things when they are attracted to someone because they don’t know how to handle their feelings.
Give him some slack and ask him out already. Find out if all this bizarre behavior is worth it once and for all.
16. He shows signs of being interested and then he pulls back.
Whether it’s fear or frustration or uncertainty, one minute he’s there having a great time and the next minute he’s gone and you don’t see him for a while.
This disappearing act is common amongst men who aren’t sure of their own feelings.
He likes you but he’s not sure what to do with that. He can’t read whether you want to be with him or not.
You might think he’s just playing games, but what he’s really doing is trying to give himself space to figure this out.
If you want to be with him, reach out to him. That is what he wants, after all: for you to chase him.
17. He confesses his feelings but doesn’t act on them.
So he’s told you that he wants to be with you…but that was weeks ago. Nothing is happening. He’s probably freaking out because you haven’t done anything with that information either.
You haven’t called or texted. Maybe you haven’t seen each other since. It’s weird, right?
Sometimes guys think they just tell you how they feel, you’ll jump into their arms and everything will be awesome.
But you’ve probably needed time to process what’s going on here too. Without realizing it, you might be waiting for him to make a move and he’s doing the same thing.
18. He’s not asking you out but he doesn’t like it when other guys do.
You might be dating other people since this guy won’t make a move, but cut him some slack. He obviously respects you and likes you.
He might not want to crowd you or put you in an uncomfortable situation.
But he can’t help but get jealous when you say you’re seeing someone else. What’s his deal? Does he want to be with you or not?
It’s easy to get frustrated at his lack of inaction, but if you want to be with him, why do you need to wait around for him to make a move?
He might be thinking the same thing: if she wanted me, she’d make a move.
19. He struggles to express his feelings with you
This is a clear sign that he’s falling in love with you, but might be scared about those feelings.
He knows he cares for you deeply, and it’s starting to worry him.
Why would it worry him?
Because men can struggle to process and deal with strong emotions, such as love.
Men like to be in control, and his feelings for you are becoming so strong that he doesn’t know how to handle it.
If he can’t process his emotions, he won’t be able to talk about them. The best he can do is avoid talking about it.
Few people realize that male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain and it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.
That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings.
If you’ve ever been with an emotionally unavailable man before, blame his biology rather than him.
The thing is, to stimulate the emotional part of a man’s brain, you have to communicate with him in a way that he’ll actually understand.
Because there are certain things you can say to him that will rocket your relationship to the next level.
I learned this from relationship guru Michael Fiore. He’s one of the world’s leading experts on male psychology and what men want from relationships.
Watch this excellent free video to learn about Michael’s life-changing solution for dealing with men who won’t open up to you.
Michael Fiore reveals what you need to do to make your man commit to a passionate relationship. His techniques work surprisingly well on even the coldest and most commitment-phobic men.
If you want science-based techniques to make a man fall in love with you and STAY in love with you, check out this free video here.
20. He disappears.
Everything is great and then you don’t hear from him for a while.
It’s not that he’s trying to pull the wool over your eyes or hide anything from you, but he’s trying to get your attention.
It seems counterintuitive to try to get someone’s attention by not being around but it really does work.
The heart grows fonder when the object of your affection is nowhere to be seen. He’ll make you miss him. And then you’ll text.
21. He steps up when you need him to.
Here’s the thing: no matter how far he keeps his distance from you, and no matter how many games it feels like he is playing, if you need something, he is there. Always.
You know you can count on him and he knows the same of you.
So why all the games? You’re obviously perfect for each other.
There’s a lot of unknowns when it comes to figuring out how the other person feels but if he’s told you how he feels, you’re dating other guys, and you’re not sending him text messages when he falls off the face of the earth, it probably seems obvious why he’s not making a move: you’re not giving him any indication that you’re interested!
So if you want to be with this guy, take these signs as an indicator that you should go after what you want.
Because he wants it to. He just needs to know where you stand so he doesn’t get his heart broken in the process.