As much as men love to complain about how confusing women can be, men can be just as guilty of sending mixed signals.
And in 2021, the responsibility of asking someone out for the first date can fall either way.
So what are the easiest ways to tell if a guy wants you to ask him out?
Look for these 12 signs that show he probably wants you to make that first, big step:
1. He Keeps Telling You That He’s Free
The thing about this guy is that you always seem to be privy to his schedule.
You know what he’s going to do this weekend, tomorrow afternoon, and the rest of the month.
You know when he’s just going to spend the weekend sitting around at home.
Because he uses every chance he can get to tell you.
He loves telling you about his schedule, and about how free he is.
Not only does it show you that he’s obviously single, but he’s always trying to get you to say something along the lines of, “Well I’m going out to this place, would you like to come?”
Essentially, he’s trying to trick you into asking him out by asking him out without really making it feel like a date.
2. He Shows Up At Your Events
While it may sound stalker-ish to say that he’s always following you around, he’s trying to do it in the most socially acceptable way possible.
Let’s say you have any kind of event — a recital, a gig, a show, anything at all — he will always be there.
He’ll come as a supportive friend, but you kind of feel that his support is so much more intense and constant than the support you get from even your closest friends.
In a way, it’s almost like he’s forcing himself in the role of your new best friend, or boyfriend, even.
But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because a part of you (if not all of you) enjoys having him around.
And that’s what he’s trying to do — he’s trying to make you realize just how much you like his presence until you finally cross the line and realize you don’t want to be without him.
3. He Leaves Last Every Time
Asking someone out for the first time can be an awkward and nerve-wracking experience, and he knows that (which is exactly why he doesn’t want to do it himself).
So he wants to give you as many opportunities as possible to ask him out without worrying about other people, which is why he always seems to hang back after everyone has left.
Even when everyone else has gone — maybe after class, or after work, or after a social gathering — he’s still lagging behind, hanging out with you.
When you ask him why he hasn’t left yet, he’ll say something like, “I just want to hang around for a bit, that’s all”.
But the truth is simple — he wants to be alone with you, so you can say something to him you might not have the courage to say in front of other people.
4. He’s Always Been A Bit Shy
It’s always expected that the guy asks the girl out, even in 2021.
So why exactly doesn’t he just ask you out, even if you’re giving him all the signs and hints to do it?
The answer might be simpler than you think: he’s not trying to play any mind games; he’s just incredibly shy.
So ask yourself: what kind of guy is he? Is he outgoing, fun, and unafraid of anything? Or is he quiet, composed, and more introverted?
If it’s the latter, then he’s probably also too shy to impose the possibility of going on a date on you.
He would rather try to plant the idea in your brain, and see if he can make you ask him out instead.
5. He Gets Emotional When Other Guys Are Involved
A guy who is waiting for his chance to move to the next level with you is also a guy who knows he’s on a very strict deadline.
He sees the value in you, and how great of a girlfriend or romantic partner you would be, and he knows that other guys can see it, too.
So every day that he doesn’t ask you out (or you don’t ask him out), he knows it’s a risk he’s taking — the possibility that someone beats him to it and asks you out first.
So whenever another guy becomes involved, he can’t help but be emotionally affected.
You might see him get a little irritated or bothered when you mention another guy, and even visibly distressed when another guy starts openly flirting with you.
Simply put: he doesn’t want to lose you to someone else who has the courage that he lacks.
6. He Brings You Gifts
Gifts might be his subtle way of saying “I’m interested in you.”
He’s thought about going out with you but maybe he’s not quite sure about what you feel or how he’d fit in your life.
Through gifts, he wants to show you his affection and let you know that he thinks about you, without putting too much pressure on either of you.
The gifts could be anything, from small tokens of his affection like flowers and letters to something grander like trips, jewelry, or things that you said you really wanted.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what the gift is.
The fact that he’s even bringing any to you (and more so if he does it consistently) means that he’s definitely thinking about taking you out.
7. His Friends Are Weird Around You
There’s a myth that guys don’t really talk to their guy friends about girls they like. But bathroom gossip and sleepover talks aren’t exclusive to the ladies.
If this guy is truly interested in you, there’s a high chance that he’s told his friends all about you.
More often than not, they’ll be more forward about his feelings than he is.
You might notice his friends asking you out on social events that he’ll be in.
Maybe they’ll ask about your love life and exchange looks and suggestive smiles to each other whenever you and their friend talk.
If you’re not sure what his feelings are, just look at his friends’ behavior whenever you’re around – their playfulness will be a pretty good indicator of what he truly feels about you.
8. He Always Thinks Before He Speaks
He wants to get to know you and connect with you on a deeper level. Instead of absentminded responses, he’ll give you long and thoughtful answers.
Conversations with him never feel shallow. It’s almost as if you can see his brain churning as he tries to come up with a detailed and thorough answer for you.
He doesn’t just respond to your questions. He asks thoughtful questions because he’s interested in keeping the conversation going.
He’s curious and wants to learn anything and everything about you.
9. You Can Always Rely On Him
He goes above and beyond just to make you happy. There’s really no questioning it: this guy is more than willing to be the shoulder you can lean on.
Whenever you feel sad, you know he’s open to discussing things with you and breaking down your emotions until you’re feeling better.
When you’re afraid or anxious, he’s there to be the light at the other end of the tunnel. When you’re too busy or too preoccupied, he does things that make like just a little bit easier.
His time is essentially your time. He’s available when you need him and even when he isn’t, he makes space and carves out time out of his busy schedule to accommodate you.
10. You Just Know You Should Ask Him Out
At the end of the day, you know the situation better than anyone else. You know what he’s been like and what other signs and signals he’s been sending your way.
What does your gut say?
If you have a strong feeling that you should ask him, it’s probably because you already know deep down that he likes you.
At this point, you might just be looking for concrete evidence to support these vague feelings.
So what does your heart tell you? You know him better than anyone. If you think that he’s into you, there’s a good chance that he already is, and that you’re more than ready to ask him out and see where this goes.
11. He Has Shown Signs of Wanting to Make a Move But Doesn’t
He leans in for a kiss more times than you can count but he never goes through with it. It turns into a hug or an awkward cheek kiss.
There are probably a million reasons why he’s not going for it, but if you’re ready to be with him, do him a favour and call him on his bullshit already.
He’ll be relieved when you do. And you’ll both be happier for it.
12. He’s Always There.
He might not feel like he needs to make a move to make you his girlfriend because, well, you’re always together already now.
What’s the point of risking what’s going on and going good with some physical intimacy.
Why put yourselves through what might only end badly? That’s one way of looking at it.
But if you want to break free from the fear of what might happen, you’re going to have to make a move.
He’s not going to. He’s already shown you his true colors over and over again.
It doesn’t mean he’s not worth it, but it does mean he’s going to need you to jump in and let him know you want things to happen between you
Ask Yourself: Do You Even Like Him?
Just because he’s showing signals doesn’t mean you have to do anything about it.
The most important thing to ask yourself is if you even like him enough to ask him out.
If he’s sending you mixed signals and trying to get you to do most of the work, consider why he’s doing that in the first place. Is he just shy? Or is he looking to play a game with you?
Consider these things before putting your heart on the line. If you think he generally has good intentions, then by all means ask him out.
At the end of the day, you’ll never know how the story ends until you open the book.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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