Do you think he wants to marry you? But don’t know for sure?
Look, despite the fact that men appear simple on the surface, it can be tricky to figure out what they’re really thinking.
After all, they’re not exactly skilled at talking about their feelings, and they hardly ever talk about the topic of relationships.
There is good news, however.
While they won’t tell you directly that they’re thinking of marrying you, there are obvious behavioral signs you can look out for.
I’ve seen it time and time again with my buddies before they got married.
Every single one of them showed the exact same signs as soon as they decided they wanted to pop the question.
So in this article, I’m going to go over every sign a man is ready to get married with you someday.
I hope for your sake that your man is showing some of them.
1) He talks about the future with you.
The future might be a vague, mysterious, scary kind of thing — but not to him. When you talk about what the next few years will hold, he has a pretty vivid picture of it.
You know your partner is considering marrying you if he doesn’t hesitate to explain his dreams, plans, and wishes for the future ahead and mentions how you play a key role in all of it.
Although he might not necessarily mention a wedding or children, even little things like trips and holidays taken together are a good sign.
Observe how he reacts when he shares his future plans with you.
Is he giddy thinking about the life he imagines you’ll have together?
If he can picture the two of you being happy and content 10 years from now, then there’s a good chance he has plans for marriage.
Don’t avoid these conversations because he might think you’re not as interested in the idea as he is.
On the other hand, a guy who constantly avoids talking about the future with you or ignores you when you mention it might not be planning anything serious.
If you’re not having any conversations about the future at all, the mature thing to do is to ask him outright.
“Where are we headed?” is a simple question that addresses your expectations and intentions in a healthy way.
Otherwise, it’s just silly for two grown-ups to be going around in circles rather than be open and clear about what they want with each other.
2) He remembers the little things.
You told your boyfriend a problem about work last week and now he’s asking you about it again, unprompted.
He remembers your complete coffee order, your favorite flowers, and even random details about your family members.
Your guy has never missed a birthday, an anniversary, or any other relevant date — and he always celebrates these occasions in a way you enjoy.
The attention he pays to the littlest things isn’t a sign of a superior memory (although it might help).
Rather, it means your man is truly invested in your life. He’s always listening to you because he wants to know the real you, the person he hopes will be his wife someday.
Don’t hesitate to share your habits, preferences, passions, likes, dislikes, and fears with him because he wants to know you on a deeper, personal level.
He’ll never make fun of you and will always take your problems (no matter how petty they may seem) seriously.
Likewise, it’s good to learn those things about him as well.
Try not to be too shocked if he even notices slight changes in your appearance or behavior because he considers you (and everything about you) is important to him.
3) He already acts like a husband.
There are couples who are so in sync that they’re like family to each other already.
They have a tremendous amount of positive shared history and a collection of inside jokes.
They attend each other’s important life events, make decisions together, and may even live with each other already.
Unlike the desire to impress you see in an early relationship, they’re not afraid to get real and messy with each other.
If you and your partner already have this married-couple mindset of openness, comfort, and vulnerability, there’s a good chance that you’ll be settling down soon.
You’ll notice that if a man is ready to become your husband, he’ll start acting like it. In his eyes, you’re family already.
Rather than being preoccupied with his own concerns, he’s more concerned about what will be best for “us”.
He would be extra protective and caring towards you, offering you unwavering, unconditional love and support.
He’ll make sure you’re meeting all your physical, mental, and emotional needs because he prioritizes keeping you happy and satisfied.
Most importantly, he’ll listen to you once you tell him you’re ready for marriage.
4) He supports you through difficult times.
One of the most reassuring things in a relationship is knowing that the other person has your back 100%, especially when you’re going through a rough time.
If your guy doesn’t run away from you when things get difficult and offers you the love, care, and support you need, then he’s pretty serious about you.
No matter what your problems are, he wants you to know that you can count on him.
He’ll be there for you and push through difficult times because he knows you’ll have a stronger relationship after.
And if sacrifices need to be made, he’ll put you first — even if it’s a small thing like accompanying you to an important work event that he doesn’t really want to attend.
The ability to make sacrifices and compromise without resentment indicates that your guy is not only ready for marriage, but he’s also going to be pretty good at it.
Of course, he might not be interested in marriage at all — no matter how awesome he’d be at it. If that’s the case, you need to discuss where you both stand and where you would like to go.
In many cases though, a guy who is basically your husband already (except on paper) is someone who is willing to marry you when the time is right.
5) He’s open to you about everything.
Most men aren’t taught to express their emotions freely, especially those that make them look “weak” like sadness or fear.
They aren’t comfortable with being vulnerable as women are, which leads them to shy away from sharing what they honestly think and feel.
So if a guy is totally comfortable and open with you that he doesn’t mind sharing the personal stuff, it may be because you’re someone he’s thinking of marrying.
You’re an important person in his life and he wants to include you in everything — even the bad stuff.
You’ll know what bothers him, what he’s up to, what his plans are, and see the chinks in his armor up close.
He doesn’t try to hide his past or anything else from you because he thinks it’s pointless to lie to someone he’s planning to share his life with.
In fact, he doesn’t even try to pretend to be someone who’s perfect because he’s confident that you love him for his true self.
6) He wants to be your hero
This is a huge sign that he wants to marry you.
You see, men are naturally protective over the woman they love.
A study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal shows that male’s testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and wellbeing.
So does your man want to protect you? Does he want to step up to the plate and provide for you and protect you?
Then congratulations. This is a definite sign that he wants to commit to you over the long haul and probably marry you.
There’s actually a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that explains why this is the case.
It goes to the heart of the riddle about why men fall in love—and who they fall in love with.
The theory claims that men want to be your hero. That they want to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives and provide and protect her.
This is deeply rooted in male biology.
People are calling it the hero instinct. I wrote a detailed primer about the concept which you can read here.
The kicker is that a man won’t fall in love with you and commit over the long haul when he doesn’t feel like your hero.
He wants to see himself as a protector. As someone you genuinely want and need to have around. Not as an accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.
I know this might sound a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into our DNA to seek out relationships that allow us to feel like a protector.
If you would like to learn more about the hero instinct, check out this free online video by the relationship psychologist who coined the term. He provides a fascinating insight into this new concept.
7) He likes spending his free time with you.
Marriage will require you to spend around 80% of your time together, every day for the rest of your lives.
From early morning to late night and every weekend or holiday season, it’s important that neither of you get bored around each other.
If your man is spending all his time with you and doesn’t seem to mind it much, he is probably practicing for your marriage in the future.
If a guy sincerely wants to be with you, he won’t need to find an excuse to be around you.
Whether he’s picking you up after work or taking you to family events, he is prioritizing you in his life.
Another milestone that precedes marriage is taking a vacation as a couple.
Most men prefer to enjoy a private vacation alone or take it as an opportunity to bond with guy friends.
If he invites you to travel with him, it means he’s comfortable and confident enough to relax around you.
Planning out the vacation is also a great practice ahead of marriage.
Choosing a vacation spot, calculating the budget, and finding accommodations that suit you both will show you how to make choices as a couple and compromise with each other.
8) He isn’t evasive about the topic of marriage.
Commitment-phobic men get spooked at the idea of marriage.
You’ll know they aren’t interested because once the marriage is brought up in conversation, they either laugh nervously or change the topic really quickly.
If your guy doesn’t balk or become uncomfortable when someone presses him about marriage, it’s a sign that he’s probably ready to talk about it with you.
He might even be desperate to get married.
After dating for a long time, this conversation should be an inevitable one.
Ideally, you’d have already discussed purchasing a house, choosing a city to live in, merging bank accounts, and having children.
Even if you’re clear that you won’t be getting married tomorrow, it’s best to be on the same page at least.
It’s perfectly okay if he isn’t on board with marriage right away though.
It’s one of the biggest, life-changing decisions any person could make in their life so it comes with a lot of pressure.
It’s good enough if he is taking the conversation seriously and isn’t opposing immediately, even if he’s a little tentative about it.
An even more positive sign is if he reacts excitedly about marriage. If he’s willing to discuss your dream wedding, then the thought has crossed his mind.
And if he’s the one volunteering to begin that conversation, he could be trying to feel you out or gather enough intel before popping the question.
9) He has already asked you about having a family someday.
When your man begins mentioning that he wants to have kids, he’s probably trying to feel out what you think about being a mother and potentially raising his children.
If your guy knew deep down he doesn’t want all of that with you, he wouldn’t bring it up — even as a casual joke.
Age is a big factor influencing if a man is ready for marriage.
Most men want to be young enough so that when they marry and have children, they can still play and bond with them.
Guys usually don’t think about having kids until their late 20s to mid-30s; men in demanding professions like medicine or law will probably take more time to warm up to the idea.
Still, respond seriously if he brings up having children with you.
Answer honestly if he asks how many children you want or what kinds of names you’d like them to have because it might build up his courage.
If you think he might want to start a family with you, you can confirm with the below video from the Hack Spirit video team:
10) He’s already making plans towards marriage.
Let’s say you’re grown up and settled. You’ve both made progress with your careers, have financial independence, and mastered the work-life balance already.
At this point, he’s working towards his future with you and is making concrete moves to achieve it.
Some obvious signs that he’s planning to ask you to marry him sooner rather than later include:
- Trying to figure out your ring finger size
- Asking friends and family about your dream wedding
- Planning out a proposal with your loved ones
If he’s not yet capable of supporting a wife, he wouldn’t make too many plans yet but will willingly discuss commitment and future plans with you.
11) You’ve met all his family and friends.
It’s a significant step in the relationship if both of you have already introduced each other to those who are closest to you: parents, siblings, close friends, and favorite relatives.
This is a big moment because your partner is declaring to those important people that you’re important to him as well — and he could have marriage on his mind.
A man who is willing to let you spend time with his mother and her massive collection of embarrassing childhood photos means he is comfortable and vulnerable with you.
He wants to share his history with you so you can integrate fully into his life. Your guy may also want to know what his loved ones think about you.
However, if you have been together for a long time but you haven’t really met their family and friends, you may want to consider evaluating your relationship.
12) You already started saving money together.
Money has a way of making or breaking a marriage. Without financial stability, it’s difficult to plan a wedding or consider even having children.
If your partner has begun to be extra careful about money, don’t think he suddenly became cheap.
He might have had to cut his budget because he is saving up for your future together.
Don’t expect to see him buying a flashy watch or a new car any time soon, either.
Another serious sign of commitment is when you start sharing your assets. Maybe you bought a house together or opened a joint bank account.
When you invest in something together, you’re already getting a taste of married life. You both trust each other enough that your money is his and his money is yours — indicating that you’re ready to share a life together.
13) You’re living together already.
Living together is a touchy subject because some cultures or religions don’t really support couples who live together before marriage.
Cohabitation is like a test run for marriage because you’re trying to see who the other person is in their more natural and private place — the home.
Living together is proof of serious intentions to eventually settle down because you’re spending every day together and seeing how compatible you are when you’re under one roof.
Another good sign is if he gives you a copy of the key to his place.
Even without the expectation of moving in, this simple gesture suggests the barriers are down and you are welcome in his life.
Men especially like to keep their personal space to themselves so allowing you full access to his shows that he’s moving past a bachelor mindset.
Since moving in with someone is like marriage without the legal documentation, it takes plenty of hard work to keep the relationship alive.
Minor disagreements about how you share a home can either ruin your partnership or show you that you’re truly meant to be together.
You should still be discerning, of course.
Love shouldn’t blind you to moving in with your boyfriend out of convenience or because you need to split the bills.
The reason he wants to move in with you should be because he wants to share a home with you unconditionally.
14) You are both active in each other’s lives.
As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. A man who exerts efforts to make you feel loved and cherished every day probably sees him sharing a future with you as his wife.
Consistency is the key to a long-lasting relationship.
Contrary to popular belief, commitment and steadfastness are the ingredients to a long and happy marriage — not romantic love.
If your man treats you with love, respect, and care today and you’re sure he’ll be the same even 50 years down the road, then he’s taking you seriously.
Some signs of a committed partner include:
- Selflessly prioritizing you and your needs
- Looking at your relationship as a “team” or partnership
- Giving you time and attention, even when he’s stressed
- Being there for you during difficult times
- Valuing your interests and opinions
- Addressing both your spoken and unspoken needs
If your man communicates well with you, behaves predictably, and is dependable in his words and actions, he’s gearing up to be a trustworthy husband for you.
15) You are a part of his decision-making process.
If there is one thing a commitment-phobic or eternal bachelor won’t do, it’s asking a woman for her opinion on his life decisions.
Guys have sensitive egos and they don’t really want their choices to be questioned or challenged.
However, a man who asks you for your opinion about something important values what you think.
He respects you as a person and wants to listen to your take about the matter.
When he considers your take on a decision, it means he’s not solely concerned on what makes him happy either.
He’s thinking of what will be good for both of you.
Whether it’s about changing his career or moving into a new house, he wants you to approve of and support the life he hopes you’ll share with him.
Remember, a guy who cares about you will include you in everything. In his mind, your wellbeing and desires take priority.
If that’s the case with your partner, he must see you shaping and taking part of his future.
16) There is progress in the relationship.
When things evolve over time, you can expect some forward progression.
In a relationship, you go from dates to vacations to finally moving in together.
At this point, you can either get married or break up. If your relationship has already reached this stage, then he should seriously be considering buying you an engagement ring right about now.
However, you have to reach out to him and begin a conversation if you’re uncertain about it.
If he had previously indicated that marriage was on the table before, it’s possible that something changed.
You need to get to the bottom of it.
Of course, be gentle but firm; you have the right to know where the relationship is headed.
Maybe he hasn’t been able to save us as much money as he would have liked before proposing to you.
Another possibility is that he feels you’ve drifted apart from each other and he doesn’t want to pursue marriage if it’s going to be a dead-end.
Whatever his point of view is, clear communication will give you the opportunity to fix or reevaluate the relationship.
It’s more helpful for both of you to ask if you can still see yourself with each other, twenty years from now.
Don’t be too disheartened or surprised if the answer has changed from before.
People grow and relationships change because of that.
It’s best to tackle this out in the open, rather than pressuring him towards marriage and allowing him to grow resentful of you.
Are You Ready For Marriage?
Choosing to spend the rest of your life with one person is a daunting question.
There are so many factors that can alter the chemistry of a couple after they get married, especially as they grow to become a family.
If you and your partner are not yet prepared for new responsibilities, it’s perfectly okay to wait a little longer as you get yourself ready.
Marriage is not a requirement to prove your love or commitment to each other, so don’t rush if you’re already happy with what you have right now.
How to turn the tables
Have you gone through the signs above and realized that you recognize none in your partner?
Don’t throw the towel in just yet.
The truth is, some men just take a little longer to step up to the plate. But the good news is, you can give him a helping hand to get there.
All you need to do is trigger his hero instinct.
Do this, and marriage will suddenly become the only thing on his mind. The truth is, he won’t be able to resist!
It’s about getting inside his head and making him see what he’s missing out on. While he might be happy with where your relationship is at, it’s only because he doesn’t realize what’s missing.
His hero instinct simply hasn’t been triggered.
If you’ve never heard of this concept before, then you’re in for a treat. It’s a relatively new idea, which has the power to change the course of your relationship. If you ask me, it’s one of the best-kept secrets of the relationship world.
This video from relationship expert James Bauer is all you need to make it happen. You can watch the video here.
James explains exactly what the hero instinct is and how you can trigger it in your man.
All men have a biological urge to be wanted and essential when it comes to romantic relationships. Once this need is fulfilled, he will be ready to step up to the plate and provide for you. Better yet, he’ll be ready for marriage.
It’s the key to a healthy, happy and long-term relationship and it will change your life.
So, if you’re wondering what next, then it’s time to find out whether the two of you make a good couple.
And it’s time to make your move.
Once again, you can watch the video here and get started today.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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