Are you ready to have a baby?
But not sure if your man is feeling the same way?
While men appear simple on the surface, it can actually be tough to figure out what they’re really thinking.
This is especially the case when it comes to having children.
Perhaps you’re worried that he’s not ready yet. Or even worse, that he might never want kids.
After all, most women want to make sure that having a baby is in their future.
Otherwise, what’s really the point in continuing the relationship?!
So it’s important to figure out where your man is at in the baby department and what it means for your future.
Look, I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit, and I know the exact signs that show whether a man does or doesn’t want a baby.
How do I know?
Because I haven’t had children yet and I’m not planning on doing so anytime soon.
But on the other hand, most of my friends and siblings have had kids, and I witnessed the changes they went through when they decided to have a baby with their wife.
So in this article, I’m to go through all signs that your man wants a baby with you soon or further in the future.
We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.
1. He doesn’t get annoyed about crying kids around
How does your man react when you’re at a cafe and there are crying kids around?
Does he seem sympathetic towards the parents?
Does he laugh and seem even joyful to see babies around doing their thang?
You can get a good idea about how your man feels about having a baby by witnessing his reaction when he is around them.
A man that wants a baby will be fascinated by them.
He’ll be curious about them and wonder why they cry so much. He’ll even try to see the world through their eyes.
If your man starts asking you what you guys would do if you had crying kids at a cafe, then he is imagining you two having kids together and what role each of you will play.
That’s a pretty big sign that he is ready to have a baby.
Look, maybe there are other factors that inhibit him from having a baby right now (like work and money in the bank) but you can bet your bottom dollar if he is having conversations like this eventually he’ll want to have a baby.
You don’t need to worry.
On the other hand, if he isn’t ready to have a baby, then he’ll get annoyed and angry at the crying kids around him.
He might say things like, “why do they bring their kids out in public? It’s unfair on everyone!”
He’ll also try to get away from the screaming kids as best he can.
He won’t emphasize at all with the parents. Screaming kids around him will just reinforce his beliefs that having a baby is a bad idea at this stage of his life.
2. He is trying to save more money
Well, this is a great sign that he is thinking about the future.
It’s no secret that having a baby isn’t cheap.
After all, It’s not just the first couple of years you need to think about. You’ll be funding their life for at least 18 years (and probably longer!).
And there’s nothing more stressful than struggling to survive financially while providing for a kid and a wife.
So if he seems to be hyper-focused on “saving money for the future” then he is already thinking about the financial strain that a baby poses.
And that is a great sign that he is getting prepared for a future with you and your baby.
It also means that you’ll feel safe and secure when you do eventually decide to have children.
However, it doesn’t mean that he wants a baby right away. It might take him some time to build up his savings to a point where he feels comfortable.
But you can feel secure in knowing that it will likely eventually happen.
3. He wants to be your hero
This is a huge sign that he wants to have a baby with you.
You see, men are naturally protective over the woman they love.
A study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal shows that male’s testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and wellbeing.
So does your man want to protect you? Does he want to step up to the plate and provide for you and protect you?
Then congratulations. This is a definite sign that he wants to commit to you and will want to have a baby with you in the future.
There’s actually a fascinating new concept in relationship psychology that explains why this is the case.
It goes to the heart of the riddle about why men fall in love—and who they fall in love with.
The theory claims that men want to be your hero. That they want to step up to the plate for the woman in their lives and provide and protect her.
This is deeply rooted in male biology.
People are calling it the hero instinct. I wrote a detailed primer about the concept which you can read here.
The kicker is that a man won’t fall in love with you and commit over the long haul when he doesn’t feel like your hero.
He wants to see himself as a protector. As someone you genuinely want and need to have around. Not as an accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.
I know this might sound a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to be a hero. Because it’s built into our DNA to seek out relationships that allow us to feel like a protector.
If you would like to learn more about the hero instinct, check out this free online video by the relationship psychologist who coined the term.
4. He is constantly talking about the future
This ties in with the point above.
Not only will he be saving money for the future, but if he can’t stop talking and imagining what the future will look like then that’s a fantastic sign that he is thinking about a future of having a baby with you.
For example, if you’re looking for an apartment together, he might want an apartment with more space.
Perhaps he’ll tell you explicitly that an extra room is important in case if you have a baby together.
Or maybe he knows in the back of his mind that more space is important if your relationship is going to move to the next stage.
Whatever it is, you’ll get clues from him when he speaking about the future and the actions he takes.
Is he talking about settling down in a quiet area? Even in the country?
Then he probably wants to create a family with you.
Most of my buddies that had a baby very early in their life moved from the inner bustling of the city to the suburbs BEFORE they had their baby.
They just knew what they wanted in life. A quiet, relaxed area where they can settle down and their kids can play.
We can all agree that it’s better for a kid to grow up with more space and areas to play in compared to the city.
And subconsciously most men know that.
My friends that have stayed in the city are still single and the furthest thing from their minds is having a kid.
So keep in mind what he is looking for when he considers the future.
You’ll be able to get all sorts of hints about what he is truly thinking.
5. He wants to get married.
Well, this sign is fairly obvious, isn’t it?
Marriage shows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
And as an extension to that, he probably wants to have a family with you as well.
It doesn’t mean that he wants to have a baby right away.
As we’ve said for a couple of signs above, it takes time for a man to arrive at the exact moment he wants kids, but it shows that he will want it eventually.
Take it from me:
Every single one of my friends that has had a baby so far (there are over 10 of them) got married before they started having children.
They knew what they wanted, and they took the traditional route to get there by getting married first.
It doesn’t always mean this is going to be the case. Marriage isn’t as popular for some people as it used to be.
But if your man does propose to you (or he already has) then there is a high chance that he will eventually want to have a baby with you.
Now there are examples of people who get married and don’t have a baby. Maybe their mind changed. Or perhaps circumstances in life prevented them from doing so.
But what I’m getting at here is that there is a significantly high chance that your man wants to have a baby with you if he marries you.
After all, one of the main reasons for getting married is to create a family together.
6. Your relationship is growing swimmingly
Let’s be honest:
Not many people decide to have a baby if they’re not in a solid and trusting relationship.
Having a baby is a big commitment, and there are bound to be unexpected challenges in front of your path.
So it’s imperative that you make sure that you’re both working well as a team together before making the big step.
So if your relationship is solid, and it’s moving along nicely, then all signs point in the direction of a baby in the future.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that having a great relationship by itself means that you’re going to have a baby.
Not at all.
But what I will say is this:
Usually, couples choose to try for a baby when they themselves are in a good place together.
So if you’re both happy with your relationship, and you’re providing ample emotional and mental support for each other, then your relationship is in a good spot to have a baby in the future.
7. He shares his feelings with you
We all know that men aren’t usually the ones to speak about their feelings.
It takes so much effort for them.
Therefore, if he’s spilling his feelings with you and getting all emotional, you can bet your bottom dollar he loves you enough to want to commit to you over the long haul and create family with you.
You can usually tell how open he is to expressing his feelings when he isn’t afraid to answer all of your questions.
It’s obvious that he isn’t trying to hide things from you.
This is why you’ll be able to get clues from what he is saying to you to see whether or not he wants children.
He might explicitly mention to you that he wants to have children.
Or he’ll just continually talk about the future with you.
Maybe he won’t mention kids, but the fact he is thinking of the future means that he wants the relationship to grow (and inevitably if a relationship moves forward, it leads to a family and kids).
However, don’t hinge all your efforts on him expressing his true feelings.
It’s not easy for men to share their feelings with you. And if he doesn’t open up, this isn’t necessarily a sign that he doesn’t want to marry and have a baby with you.
The fact is that it’s natural for men and women to be on the wrong wavelength about committing to something so big.
Male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain and it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.
That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings. The result is that men can be a lot of confusion.
If you’ve ever been with an emotionally unavailable man before, blame his biology rather than him.
The thing is, to stimulate the emotional part of a man’s brain, you have to communicate with him in a way that he’ll actually understand.
I learnt about this from relationship expert Amy North. You can watch her excellent free video here.
In her video, Amy North reveals exactly what to say to a man to make him want to commit to a deep and passionate relationship with you. These words work surprisingly well on even the coldest and most commitment-phobic men.
If you want to learn science-based techniques to attract men and get them to commit to you, check out her free video here.
8. He’s told you he wants to have kids in the future.
Well, this one is fairly obvious, isn’t it?
If he makes it clear that he wants to have kids in the future, then that by itself says that he has the motivation to have a baby.
And if he is a long-term relationship (or marriage) with you then he probably wants to have a baby with you.
There’s no doubt about it.
After all, if a man doesn’t want to ever have kids, he usually makes the decision in his 20s.
But if he has already decided that having kids is part of his future, then that’s a great sign for you that he wants to have a baby.
Look, we all know what men are like. They tend to think short-term and they’re looking to have fun.
But if your man has told his plans for a baby in the future, and he is saving and talking about the future with you, then this man eventually wants to have a baby.
9. He’s becoming emotionally mature
As we mentioned above, it’s tough for a man to show emotion.
From a young age, men are often taught that emotions are a sign of weakness.
But if you’re noticing that recently he is becoming more emotionally mature, then that’s a great sign that he might be getting ready for the next stage of life.
Is he willing to talk about his emotions more? Is he revealing his true self to you? Starting to mellow out and become more affectionate with you?
These are all excellent signs that he is becoming emotionally mature.
Furthermore, if he is willing to help you out with your emotional state and he wants to be there for you whenever you need it, then you can bet your bottom dollar that this man is getting ready for more.
The best bit?
He is going to be a fantastic nurturing father as well.
10. He’s settled in his life
Now we’ve spoken a lot about how he treats you to figure out if he wants a relationship, but we need to cover his current circumstances in life.
Is he ready for a baby?
After all, when it comes to settling down in a relationship and having a baby, timing is everything (especially for a man).
If he doesn’t have a stable job, no money in the bank, and he’s jumping from place to place, he may not be looking to create a family right now.
On the other hand, if he has a house, owns a car, and is looking to buy a house, then you know he’s settled down and ready to create the family he has always wanted.
You can also learn a lot about your man by the kind of life he is living right now.
Is he going out night after night and getting drunk with his buddies?
You see, he might be settled down in terms of his job and his house, but not in terms of his attitude to life.
And that’s the kind of guy that doesn’t want a baby just yet.
So if he is settling own in his professional career, wants a big house in a quiet area, AND his attitude to life is settling down, then you can be sure that this man is looking to have a baby.
How to put a baby on his radar
If you haven’t noticed any of the signs above in your man, don’t despair.
It may not be a case that he isn’t interested in having a baby with you, he might just not have thought about it yet.
There is a way you can get your relationship to the right point so a baby seems like the next natural step for the both of you.
You do this by triggering his hero instinct.
This is a concept I touched on above because once triggered, it’s a sure sign that he’s going to want a baby with you.
Thankfully, if you haven’t triggered it in him yet, there are steps you can take to do so.
So, what is the hero instinct?
Let’s delve into it a little further to really understand.
It’s a biological drive he has – whether he’s aware of it or not. In fact, it’s something most men don’t even know they have.
If you trigger this instinct in him, he will commit to you and be ready to take that next step and have a baby with you. No back and forth trying to convince him.
Just one big happy family, ready to take that next natural step.
Click here to watch his excellent free video about the hero instinct. James Bauer, the relationship expert who first coined this term, walks you through exactly what the hero instinct is, and then provides practical tips to help you trigger it in your man.
By triggering this very natural male instinct, you’ll take your relationship to that next level of commitment, while also ensuring your man feels great about himself and ready to be a dad.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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