Paul Brian
So you met a guy but he’s sending all sorts of mixed signals?
It happens.
With the right decoding device, however, you can tell if he’s really into you or not.
15 signs he secretly craves you (and what to do about it)
1) He’s a bit of a jerk to you
Yes, really.
One of the signs he secretly craves you is that he can be a bit of a dick.
If he’s just completely intolerable and annoying then you’re better off avoiding this guy.
But if his bad behavior has an edge of humor and playfulness about it, then you need to consider that this could just be his way of trying to get to your heart.
Granted, it’s pretty immature and can be bizarre, but it does happen…
“Some guys have what I call ‘middle school game:’ when they like a girl, they’re really mean to her.
“Just like they did back in middle school… Maybe minus him tripping you or pulling your pigtails!” writes Love Strategies.
“Some guys are just so nervous that they default to what once worked for them a million years ago: teasing a woman or being a little mean.”
2) He’s looking fine when you’re around
If he always looks fine then this might just be par for the course.
But if he spruces up whenever you’re around but looks frumpy otherwise, then you should know that it’s one of the main signs he secretly craves you.
It’s great when a guy wants to look his best.
But when he wants to look his best for you then there’s usually a reason.
And not to be too on the nose here, but the reason is usually that he’s craving you and wants to make out like a hormone-crazed high-schooler.
So if you notice that his look is extra fresh around you, you’ve been warned.
This guy is hot on your trail.
3) He wants you but is worried you don’t feel the same
If a guy craves you, then why not just show it?
There are various possible reasons, but the most common reason is that he’s worried you won’t feel the same.
If you tend to be fairly reserved and it’s hard for him to read how you feel, then this guy is going to be hedging his bets in case you cut him down.
He wants to try to suss out how you feel before he puts his cards on the table.
4) He’s cuddly and affectionate around you
At the same time as he may want to downplay his feelings for you, one of the top signs he secretly craves you is that he’s cuddly and affectionate.
If you call him out on it he’s most likely to say he’s just being friendly and asking you to chill.
And maybe he is.
But chances are that his flirtatious physical behavior is just that: flirtatious.
When animals in the wild are in the mood for romance they roll and tumble around like crazy.
He’s basically doing the same thing and hoping it will end with you seeing hearts.
5) He’s mighty curious about who you’re dating
Another one of the biggest signs he secretly craves you is that he’s mighty curious about who you’re dating.
If he’s an old hand at this secret seduction game then you may notice him bite his lip when talk of another guy comes up.
But watch for that initial reaction. It can also include his face reddening, catching his breath, or suddenly looking down or away.
That’s his instinctual reaction to hearing that the woman he’s into has another guy on her mind.
If he didn’t secretly like you then he wouldn’t care much at all.
The fact that he does care tells you that he most likely wants you for himself.
6) He thinks you’re the female Jerry Seinfeld
You may be a very funny female. For all I know you were the class clown in high school and you’re now the life of the party wherever you go.
I’m not doubting that for one second.
But what I am saying is that if there’s a guy in your life who cracks up every time you basically open your mouth…
…then there’s a good chance he’d like to kiss you on the mouth.
There I said it.
Laughing at every joke (and even ordinary things you say) is the absolute classic, grade A behavior of a guy who’s full of desire for you.
“If you look at things realistically, the truth is that you are not all that hilarious, and not everything you say is funny.
“But obviously, this guy doesn’t think this way. He can’t help but loudly laugh at every little thing you say, and he thinks every joke you tell is more than hilarious.”
7) His body language speaks
Some men can play it pretty cool with the way they look, talk and act.
What’s much harder for them to do is disguise their actual body language.
Are they often standing close to you with their feet angled towards you?
Do they shift nervously when you approach and fidget and blush when you look at them?
Are they playing with their hair, licking their lips and other similar behaviors?
These are all classic indicators that he’s digging you.
Also, look for changes in his pitch of voice.
When he’s turned on by you his voice may get deeper in pitch.
Nature doesn’t lie, ladies.
8) Other girls are not on the tip of his tongue
A guy who wants you just as a friend or isn’t into you will sometimes bring up other women around you.
A guy who does want you will studiously avoid doing this.
The reasons are obvious:
Firstly, he’s not thinking or fantasizing about other girls because he wants you.
Secondly, he doesn’t want to ruin whatever potential shot he does have with you by bringing up other love interests – even in the past.
He wants to have a fresh start with you and see where things could lead.
“If he is only interested in you, he is not likely to see other women nor is he likely to talk about other women in front of you.
“He wants to know that you are the only woman that he wants without saying it explicitly,” writes Sarah Mayfield.
Bingo.
9) He keeps conversations and chats going
Whether it’s calls, texts, messages, or in-person convos, a guy who’s into you is going to want to keep them going.
Is there anything better than talking to somebody you’re interested in?
Not much.
That’s why it’s natural for him to want to extend the connection you have and keep the flow of chat going.
Look for flimsy pretexts to chat that he uses to keep things rolling.
This is one of the main signs he secretly craves you: he just wants to keep you on the line.
This is exactly the behavior of a man who’s in love, not a man who’s looking for a pal.
10) He remembers what you tell him
When we think of a relationship on the rocks, one of the main factors is a man or woman who no longer listens to what their partner says.
They just couldn’t give a shit, or they’re upset about something and won’t bring it up.
So they ignore their partner or occasionally snap rudely at them in response.
It usually leads to a breakup.
The opposite is true during the chase phase when a guy wants you and is in woo-mode.
He will be remembering what you tell him, and intensely interested in what you have to say.
If you’re fortunate and you pick a good one, he’ll continue being interested if you start dating.
11) His eyes are on fire for you
One of the biggest signs he secretly craves you is that his eyes are on fire for you.
Maybe he’s just super appealing and his eyes are on fire for every woman (watch out!) but when he directs those smoldering sultry eyes your way, does it feel especially directed at you?
Because if a man desires you, one way or another you’re going to feel it through his eyes.
You’ll feel like his eyes are shooting out desire rays at you and you’ll either feel a bit disjointed or – if you’re into him – you’ll probably feel turned on.
Dealer’s choice.
“If he really likes you, the key to his secret is in his eyes.
“You might feel that he is constantly checking on you, or you might find yourself in his prolonged gazes.”
12) He turns green seeing you with other guys
One of the clearest signs he secretly craves you is that he hates seeing you around other guys in a romantic way.
If he’s keeping his desire secret then he’s not going to interrupt or get angry.
But you’ll be able to feel that mounting tension and uncomfortable silences when you’re in situations that involve you with another guy.
Jealousy can afflict even the most even-tempered guy.
And no matter how calm and collected your guy is, chances are that he’s going to betray his inner state in some way.
If you’re dating someone else or just had fun at a party last night with a cute guy from Spain, watch for his reaction.
If he’s into you then he’s not going to be thrilled, and even a fake laugh on his part will be easy to see through to the pain underneath.
13) He’s got smiles for miles
One of the nicest signs he secretly craves you is that he smiles a lot when you’re around.
When you even walk in a room and he’s looking neutral or sad, watch for that expression to transform in front of your eyes.
It’s a magical thing to see, and if you’re into him as well then it’s pretty great to notice.
People write all sorts of complicated things about relationships and attraction, but at the end of the day, there is nothing as important as a sincere smile.
When someone is truly glad to see you and attracted to you, they smile brightly and it shows through their whole being.
This won’t just be a casual fake smile or a quick half-smile. It will be the real thing and you’ll know it.
“Even if he is in a bad mood and is avoiding other people, he will still make time for you and you will be the only one who will be able to bring a smile to his face.
“He will not avoid you and will always greet you with a pleasant smile because he wants you to acknowledge him and perhaps he wants to see your lovely smile as well.”
14) He’s your number one fan
As I said before, a guy who laughs at every joke and comment you make is most likely interested in you as more than a friend.
The same goes for if he notices every little change you make and really appreciates it.
If you even dye your hair a slightly different shade of auburn he’s on that and very much a fan.
If you’re trying out a new skirt, he’s got nothing but tasteful compliments about how it suits you.
This can feel pretty good, after all, who doesn’t like some thoughtful compliments from a nice guy now and then, right?
Just keep in mind that he’s working his way to the more romantic stuff.
“If you are with a guy who notices when you make any change to your looks, then that’s a clear sign that he pays special attention to you,” writes Michelle Devani.
“It could be a new hairdo or piercing or outfit.
“If he figures out whatever it is, then he may like you more than he admits.”
15) He’s got your back at all times
Even if you’re a very independent woman who wants to do your own thing and fight your own battles, this is one of the most charming signs he secretly craves you.
He’s got your back at all times.
Even small misunderstandings, stressful work issues or stress you’re having with friends or family: he’ll be there.
He won’t nose in, but if you ask his advice or moral support he’ll show up.
And when you need a shoulder to cry on he’s there.
The difference between him and a good platonic friend is that you’ll always feel that edge of romantic tension and potential is there the whole time.
Two steps to unleash the passion
A lot of dating advice out there makes romance and attraction seem like rocket science.
It’s not.
Attraction is real and it’s hard to fake.
If he’s into you then it’s going to come out sooner or later.
Your job is just to allow that process to speed along a little faster…
1) Flirt
Turn up the heat and show him that you’re into him.
If you want this guy to start opening up about his feelings for you, then it’s important to take a few steps of your own.
This is especially important in these days when many men are less confident and find it harder to take the first steps.
Either way, if you want him to go beyond desire and into reality then you need to show him that you’re interested as well.
2) Have fun
It’s easy to start taking relationships and attraction way too seriously and get ourselves into a world of worry.
Whatever you do, don’t forget to have fun.
If this guy already wants you, then he’s going to love it all the more if the time you spend together is amazing and enjoyable.
Focus on the present moment and on getting to know him when you have the opportunity.
Love will come naturally during these moments of joy.
